Author's Note: It makes no sense and is incredibly pointless, but I figured I'd post it anyhow. I'm about to disappear again and I know that if I don't post this now, I never will. I'm not entirely happy with this, as it really flits and is slightly (read: really) on the repetitive side, but some may find it interesting. I wrote this while lacking sleep. That's my excuse.

Freefall

Just close your eyes and jump. Don't look down. Don't look up, or away, or at your friends. Just close your eyes and jump, let your subconscious do the thinking for you. Don't think. Don't react. Move. Close your eyes, take a step, and go. Nothing needs to be questioned, critiqued, or worried over. Either the parachute fails or it doesn't. You can't tell from here if it will or not, but you'll regret it if you don't move.

Move. Close your eyes and…

It's a freefall, from safety to the unknown, from the recognizable to the surprising. Open your eyes in midair and feel completely weightless. For once in your life, fly. Let go of your constant worries, fears, and problems, and let gravity run its course. There's no stopping it now. Either you win or you lose. Whether you slam into the ground or land softly is moot point. Right now, you're free.

Take the plunge, let go of instinct, pull the cord, and float the rest of the way. Standing on still ground will never feel the same. Breathe in. Breathe out. Close your eyes and touch the ground.

-

"…and I just thought…"

"…couldn't believe it! But, with these…"

"…must have been crazy, but I was thinking…"

"…any eyeliner? I'm all out…"

Eyes open, feet on the ground, freedom's gone. You knew it'd be fleeting when you felt it. You knew it couldn't last.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. It was just a dream, nothing more. You've never done anything crazy like that, never will. Life is fine the way it is. You love it.

Then why does it feel so empty?

Shake it off, walk through the door. You work methodically. You've done nothing new yet. You wear a uniform every day. You walk the same routes every morning, say the same words to the same people, make the same (hefty) amount of money every month. Your life needs nothing more than what you have, and you have it all.

Or do you?

You cling to normality like it defines you and it clings to you like a vise. You don't do crazy things; you're the stable one that everyone can count on. You doing something crazy would be like Ozzy Osbourne announcing his new country album. It would throw everyone. You don't need spontaneity.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Turn the computer on, pull up the spreadsheet. Words, numbers, words, lines, words, up, down, straight, words, titles, words, numbers, letters. Breathe. Smile. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. You're okay.

No, you aren't.

You're bored. You dream of parachuting because it's completely opposite of the character you've created, the life you've fabricated. You hate that character, that person, yourself. You want to do something insane, so unlike you that it makes people wonder what possessed you. You want to jump.

Just close your eyes and jump.

You can't, you can't, you can't. You have to stay still, at your desk, doing this work because someone has to do it, you have to work on this spreadsheet. What does it say? It says… It says…

Everything is swimming before your eyes.

It says…

You're walking, moving, jumping, but you don't know where.

It says…

Where are you going? Why isn't anyone stopping you? What are you doing? Can't they see that you aren't yourself?

Walk. Move. Close your eyes and jump. Whether you crash to the ground of float through the air is moot point. What matters is whether you can jump or not.

Close your eyes and jump.

Close your eyes and jump.

Like a flash, you can see yourself, standing still, in front of your future. In front of something you've always wanted to do. Not push a damn pencil. Not write meaningless numbers on pointless spreadsheets that no one cares about. This isn't your life. You hate your own character.

Close your eyes and jump. Either you win or you lose. Once you've jumped, there's no point in worrying. Whether the parachute works or fails, you're going to hit the ground. It's jumping that's the hard part, and it's the landing that hurts. The fall is freedom.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Move.

Close your eyes and…

…freefall into the unknown.