i (almost) cut last night watched the lines raise up on my skin (it used to be so much tanner) they were bright (like your stupid fucking lipstick) red and puffy maybe i cry too much but I havnt since i stopped talking (only to him) and noone ever fixed him but maybe the prozac did (I cant watch all our unfucked up lives fall apart) and didyoubelieve that I would stay perfect as I (walked out on everythingweknew)and tasted smoke on my greedytongue?; it was.laughable the way you cringed at my eyes: I like masking my pain in smiles but he never (saw past them) and then I cant get the other boy out ofmycloudymemories…remember (I lost freedom a longtimetimetimeago)yes that is rape my dear do you know that word I thoughttheytaughtyou things(except how to kiss.ohthatswhereicomein)but I wont letyoukissme that's for real girls shimmeringandsluttyandbeautifulintheir: whoringdirtyness i.love.it.all and the smokedancesallovermywrists(I don't think you've ever smelled it?)

I will never let you touch me as deeply as hedid.(:enough pain for onelifetime)