Where are you now?
I'm coming to pick you up now!
Came their angry shouts from the phone
Which I held so gingerly with the tips of my fingers,
As if the phone wasn't important.
The call wasn't.
The callers weren't.
And what message were you trying to pass to me?
Come back to your prison.
Stop your fun, and come back now to your jail,
So you can be on the edge of the bed,
Wishing you were living on the edge of life.
Wishing so hard I'm going crazy
Thinking that probably if I died, I'd have
A chance at another life.
At least there was a probability…
I dropped the phone.
It was scooped up, and there was a click.
Good for you, don't listen to parents,
They're such nags. They don't know anything,
She seemed to have read from my mind,
Said the exact words I'd always been feeling
And probably, knew.
But they'd always covered it up.
Their lined faces, always trying to look old.
Older than they are, as old as they're supposed to be.
But they're not old enough
To know enough
To make me happy.
That's how they never let me think, by saying
We've been through this before,
Your mind is not big enough to think for the future,
That's what you say
When you can't even differentiate between an
I-Pod, and a MP3,
When you can't scroll a mouse, or play a simple computer game,
Because you know not how to use a keyboard.
You acted as if you knew, and all I ever did was
Listened to my parents.
I was a daze, against the clean walls that led to the toilet,
That led out of the toilet, to the crazy night.
I listened to the echo of her voice.
Then I laughed –
You're right. They know nothing.
Freedom! I yelled just loud enough for an echo.
The walls laughed with me, and nodded, and agreed…
Freedom, they said to me,
Freedom, they said again,
Freedom, they chanted.
Yes, I guffawed.
Funny, how was it within different walls,
You could feel so different
Like in a different life? A different person? Maybe, in a different world?
When walls were just walls,
Whether they were bricked walls or cemented walls or wood walls,
They were still walls to me.
What was different was…
I laughed so hard. The walls leaned forward
And rocked backwards, like they were nodding.
Hey walls, hey walls, you look funny…
I was a little girl. Being able to laugh at anything,
Just 'cause there weren't people dying in my face,
And just 'cause I wasn't hungry,
And just 'cause I had friends around me,
And just 'cause I looked pretty tonight,
And just 'cause I had all my legs and hands,
And all my eyes and noses and mouths,
And tongues and toes and fingers…
I cracked up again. I was happy.