Brick Meade was leading a good life, all was well in his life. He was captain of all the sports teams, ALL of them, every last one, even the polo team. He was dating ALL the cheerleaders at the same time (they didn't mind sharing him, he was so HAWT!). He was the most popular guy in school, EVER. Then, something happened, and it was bad. Brick died. It was a sad day, all the sports teams lost all the rest of their games, the cheerleaders were no longer peppy, the peons of the school had no one to look up to. It was a sad day indeed.
When Brick reached the pearly gates, St. Peter was sitting there, reading a Heaven Today and whistling some hymn or another. Brick cleared his throat, "Ahem, excuse me."
Looking up, St. Peter said, "Hmmm? Who are you?"
Brick was quite shocked, "Don't you know who I am?"
"I am....(dramatic pause) Brick Meade!"
"Never heard of you."
"Waiting on what?"
"Waiting for you to send me back to Earth so I can impact the planet for the greater good, or learn some big life lesson, or kill all the demons or something."
"Ummm...why would I do that?"
"Well, because I'm the protagonist of this yarn, I can't just die. That would be stupid."
"Well, you're not going back down there."
"Well, I think we have used 'Well' to begin a sentence just a little bit too much."
"Well, I s'pose you have a point, Mr. Saint Peter Sir."
"Please just call me Petey."
"Okay, so Petey-"
"That's Saint Peter to you, young man."
"Um, okay, Saint Peter, what is there to do up here?"
"Well, mostly we just watch the people on Earth. Anyone in particular you wanna watch?"
"How about Sarah Killbrick, she was my favorite girlfriend."
"Alrighty, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride."
Seats appeared and a big screen TV popped up out of the clouds. Sitting down, Brick watched as Sarah accidentally drowned at a pool party. The TV disappeared. "What happened?"
"She died. Her life video is over."
"Okay, how about, Kyra, she was my second favorite."
"Okay, here you go..."
Thew Patroniz walked the walls of St. Peter High quite contentedly. He walked the walls, in the sense that he was thinking of himself walking the walls, stepping on all the stupid frames that glamorize the athletics and the athletes. In truth, he was walking the halls like the rest of the oddly oppressed and repressed student body. Something had gotten them all so down, not being in the loop, Thew was uninformed as to what could have caused everyone's grief. It was not til first period and morning announcements that he found out why everyone was so depressed: it seems that Brick Meade, the Star of the school, a shining example to all, God's gift to their small town, had mysteriously croaked, as well as his favorite girlfriend, Sarah Killbrick. Now, although he didn't know the two personally, he felt slightly sorry that they were no longer there. He supposed that he should have felt more grief but he didn't because he knew that, if he had mysteriously died, Brick and Sarah would have no grief for him, oh they might have public grief, might even attend his funeral as a way of saving their reputations, but they would forget about him soon after as would almost everyone else at his school. He had basically no friends, oh, once he had had friends, in Kindergarten he had even been friends with Brick and Sarah, and Kyra Love. But, when they found out that he didn't use conditioner, they quit being his friend and he quit caring what other people thought.
Moving on with the rest of his day, Thew began to feel guilty, not because Brck was dead, but because he'd left the lights on at home. Hurrying out the school door in an attempt to get home and turn the house lights off and then turn them on again, he ran into a girl running the opposite way. "Oof!" came her muffled sound as she went flying backwards. Thew similarly went flying backwards and came to rest on the pavement just in front of the school door.
Moving quickly to avoid getting hit by the door, Thew scrambled to the girl he had inadvertently knocked off her feet. 'Oh snap!' he thought to himself, seeing the beautiful face of Kyra Love below him. "Are you alright?" he asked her uncertainly.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, slowly sitting up. Rubbing the back of her head tenderly, she shot a look at Thew that was both intriguing and intimidating at the same time. Shaking off Thew's proffered help up, she rose unsteadily to her own feet. Dusting herself off, she picked up her things and strode into the school building, icily ignoring Thew.
'Well, that's one way not to make friends,' he thought to himself. Remembering the lights, Thew ran all the way home, forgetting that he had driven to school.
Meanwhile, in heaven....
"Well, Saint Peter, that was odd," Brick commented.
"Yes, well, I sense it will be the first of many odd things. In fact-"
"Hey, you can't do that!"
"You'll completely ruin the story if you tell everyone the plot."
"Oh, come now, Brick, I think the majority of our more intelligent readers can see this plot coming from a mile off."
"Well, for the sake of our less intelligent readers, keep the plot to yourself."
"Alright, Brick, I shall, for the time being, at least."
On Earth, inside Kyra's head...
It had been an interesting day, to say the least, on arrival to school, Kyra found that both Brick and Sarah were not only absent, but dead! It was quite disconcerting, considering she was Brick's second favorite girlfriend. If it had just been Sarah, it wouldn't have been so bad, but life doesn't always work the way you want it to.The entire school was feeling down, and she couldn't blame them, the entire cheerleading squad was decimated. The once perky, peppy, Pride of Saint Peter High cheerleaders were suddenly wearing dark colors that did not go with anything! Except for herself, of course, she was more level-headed than the rest of them. A new squad had been chosen, but sadly, they were neither pretty, popular, or coordinated. Not that it mattered, all the sporting events would be a disaster without Brick there. After leaving for the day, Kyra remembered that she had left something in her locker, in a hurry, she ran all the way back to the school, she reached the steps safely but as she was approaching the door it swung out violently and a person ran into her, knocking her back just in front of where the steps began and knocking the wind out of her. "Oof!" was all she managed to get out before she hit the pavement, hitting her head on the hard concrete.
Her acquaintance came to her and asked if she was alright, she replied that she was fine nonchalantly and ignored his outstretched attempt to help her to her feet. Struggling to her feet on her own, she gathered her belongings and went into the school building sparing him not another glance.
She may not have given him another glance, but she definitely gave him another thought, or two. 'Who was that boy? Was it.... Thew? It couldn't have been. He looked so different. What was up with those pants? Oh my goodness, what if he started using conditioner? That would be so good for his hair. I'll have to keep my eye on him,' Kyra thought to herself.
Meanwhile, inside Thew's mind...
Walking back to school the next day (as you may remember, he had left his car there in his haste to make it back home), Thew, for reasons unbeknownst to him at the time, could not get his "run-in" with Kyra off his mind. He didn't like her, he hadn't since she and Brick and Sarah had made fun of his unconditioned hair, but he did find her attractive, after all, she was the hottest girl in school since Sarah had passed away. 'Well, she certainly didn't give me another thought,' he thought to himself. 'But it's not like I really wanted her to, did I? I mean, with her two best friends now dead, it would be cool to see if she was really such a jerk, or just acted like that to be "popular." Plus, it looked like her pants were my size,' he giggled at that thought. Girl pants. To Thew they were extremely comfortable, and he really didn't care what anyone else thought, but unfortunately, most people just didn't understand him, and his pants. 'Oh well, another day, another...day. I need to get more sleep.'
The day passed uneventfully, he didn't see Kyra the entire school day, not that he wanted to, and he almost forgot his car again. That's why he found himself running back to the school parking lot and almost running into, none other than, Kyra Love herself. She nimbly side stepped him as they were about to collide. Quirking an eyebrow at Thew, she spoke, "In a hurry, Thew?"
That was a shock, she hadn't spoke five words to Thew, in years, actually, she had only spoken four words just then, but he was not going to be impolite, her two best friends had just died, he could at least extend some politeness. So, he replied, "Yeah." Some politeness did not extend much further than one word replies, and Thew darted off to his car before Kyra could further the conversation. Getting in his car and turning on the radio, Thew backed out quickly, not looking, and almost ran over Kyra. Vexed and not wanting to talk to Kyra any more, he sped out of the parking lot and onto the road home.
Getting into her car, Kyra just sat there, her hands on her keys and her keys in the ignition, as yet unturned. 'Why do I keep bumping into him? It must just be coincidence. He almost ran me over! Oh, but his pants! So tight! They look like pants in my own closet!' she giggled at that thought. 'I'm sure he isn't thinking about me, though, and I don't blame him. I haven't even talked to him in years. I guess maybe I shouldn't have mocked him just because he didn't use conditioner.' With this epiphanic thought on her mind, she started her car and drove home.
"St. Peter, I don't get it. She was just sitting in her car, not doing anything," Brick stated, more than a little perplexed at his second favorite girlfriend's behavior.
"Well, Brick, she was probably doing this thing called 'thinking', it's all the rage these days," St. Peter replied.
"Hmm, never heard of it," Brick admitted.
"Obviously," St. Peter muttered. "Say Brick, would you like any refreshments. It ain't McDonald's but we've got some food."
"Sure, I'll take whatever you're getting," Brick told him. St. Peter cracked a smile and left the cloud/room chuckling to himself.