alarm clock

she does not deserve you.

i'm not pretending i do. but i would never cheat on you, i would never lie to you, i would never abandon you, i would never do anything but show you how much i love you. because i do. love you. why can't you see that?

and why can't you see that you love me, too?

i know you do, i can see it, and everyone else can, too. when you talk, you direct it at me. when you look at me, it's different. but you're chained to a myth of a love that doesn't even exist. and you've done it to yourself. the heart of her and you is dying, and yet you persist on keeping yourself tightly blindfolded. you hope that if you shut your eyes, what you don't want to see won't be there. but i've got news for you. it will. and if you don't wake up soon, i will shred her perfectly shaped face and dig my fingernails into the little red blemishes that give me a perverse sort of satisfaction.

...but can't you see that this was always supposed to happen? look at us. we are meant to be—the perfect couple if there ever was one. and she is what stands between us. and that is not right.

i love you, and forgive me if i seem a little incoherent. but she—that girl does not deserve you, and never will. the question is when will you realize this? because everyone else already knows. do i have to be the one to tell you what you don't want to hear? am i supposed to tell you? i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, because of course, as a friend, i think you should know. but i don't want to hurt you, and would you think i'm that manipulative? i'm scared of what you'll think of me.

but the bottom line is, her poker face has been on far too long. i can never tell what she's thinking; how can you? she is an puzzle you don't need to solve. but—please—i love you, and i would give you everything if i could. so please, please, please—wake yourself up, before she does it for you.

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11.22.05.