This Authors note is to address certain flaws that many people have kindly pointed out to me, and no I'm not being sarcastic. You have no idea how thankful I am that you nicely said "hey wait- I just noticed this…" instead of "OMG you MORON!" I mean, I DO most of my writing at 3-4 am in the morning lol, so flaws will exist. Thank you for pointing them out, and when I have time, I will assuredly fix them all, okies? Okies- if you have issues I didn't see, my apologies, and let me know!
Okay Fictionpress won't let me view all the reviews to address each one, so let me get to the ones I remember- oki?
First off, the title is AuryxIkana because I had no real title for the story to begin with- in my files on my computer I title things in a summary ex: Dreamfrogman, or Scarybloodnightmare. This is title Auryx Ikana on my computer. Secondly, I put it in as Auryx/ Ikana or was it Auryx-Ikana. ? At any rate, the little dashes and slashes never showed up, so it smooshed together. I'm pretty sorry about that, but I figured wouldn't be nice to suddenly change the title in case someone searches for it. Hey, if anyone has a great title, I'll rename it!
MalachI. I know this bugs you, it bugs me too. I do not understand why my program does this to the I in the name. Jarami. Isaihi. No other name does that, just MalachI. And short of going back and manually changing every letter, which I won't do -too tired- It won't stop! I'm sorry, truly, I am!
Someone commented how Ikana learned so gosh darn fast the sign language of Joqual and Demwit (and something no one caught- Demwit was actually Denwit, then I misspelled and forever more it has been Demwit. Ah well, no one seems to care haha) The learning thing is thus: I needed her to be able to communicate. But that's not a really super reason, so here are more reasons. If you recall, Ikana has always been special, very understanding etc, but her mother died when she was younger, about 11 I think I made it, and from then on, she has had to take care of herself. Think about it. She is Shamed, her father whenever he IS home, probably wouldn't be sharing much with her, and who else would help her? She has had to learn to adapt, and most likely learned to be quick in all things.
Secondly, sign language is all signs, of course, so perhaps Joqual's and her own were not that far apart- they both designed their own signs, so the majority were probably similar, since most sign language is roughly common sense ones with basis on real life (example: the 'baby' sign is the motion of rocking a baby, etc.) Perhaps twould be better if go back and either add a few days as well,( did you know, in the mormon MTC when the missionaries go to other countries, they only take 2 weeks to learn the basics of the language? Give me THOSE teachers in High School, man!
Thirdly, desperation. She had to make herself understood, to simply indicate her non-Seye like attitudes, so panic most likely aided her in remembering what she needed to know.
Fourthly, there is no excuse. A writer must make things believable to make the story flow, and I obviously flubbed that, but its ok, you still love me. Once the story is out of me, I'll go finesse it, and tweak it, according to the reviews. After all, I'm writing for you guys D
Someone commented on my lack of paragraphs. I am guilty. I have no excuses, I hate paragraphs. I never know when to put them in, because I am thinking in terms of the character, not the reader, if that makes sense. When I reread the story, I fix a few errors, change a sentence, add a sentence, but the paragraphs are invisible to me, haha- really, cause the words are like the characters thoughts and sights, and it's a bit rough for me to be able to format it into readability for you, I'm so sorry. Pleeeeeease forgive me on that!
A great review was given to me recently, and made me drop my jaw on how stupid I could be.
From: Siffy ?userid111241
Well, usually I can't stand stories about half human/half animal characters, but you've made this enjoyable enough. Good job! Two errors I saw that bugged me a bit were in chapter 20. �Just lick it. If you drink water right now, you will throw up.� "my body screaming for more to aid my parched tongue." Heh, but what is she going to lick with? And what tongue?
Well, usually I can't stand stories about half human/half animal characters, but you've made this enjoyable enough. Good job!
Two errors I saw that bugged me a bit were in chapter 20.
�Just lick it. If you drink water right now, you will throw up.�
"my body screaming for more to aid my parched tongue."
Heh, but what is she going to lick with? And what tongue?
O.M.G. You are so right. WHAT TONGUE? I should have put in 'suck it' lol, if that would have survived the gutter minds. What tongue? Honestly, that really was a dumb mistake to put in. Sometimes I forget she lacks certain abilities, such as licking. My INTENSE, and embarrassed apologies! You guys are so cool to catch stuff like this, and it makes pay more attention to my frenzied typing. Seriously, my hat is off to all of you who review and leave me comments.
One review asked if perhaps Weir's downfall wasn't perhaps too abrupt? That's true, if you stop, but then again, there were some things you had to consider.
Uno- Roarke is not an idiot. He knew Weir's flaws, and perhaps knew her jealousy could be a living thing- also, he knows Auryx had a gigantic love for Ikana before she betrayed him, and upon finding out that Ikana was alive and well, he could imagine that perhaps Weir would be annoyed. But certainly he could not think of her doing anything so terrible, and even if she did, she would be contrite…..wouldn't she????
Dos- The twins. Troublemakers and silly as they are, they were raised by Iba and Roarke, and known to be special cases. Notice whenever there is something serious, they sober and do not lie….much. Such a weighty accusation, and such hatred towards Weir for something they claim her to do, carried weight, but not enough to condemn her immediately. Note that Roarke disbelieves them, and Auryx as well.
Tres- Auryx is living on hatred because he is hurt, and in short, pouting and ignoring reason. He isn't an idiot either, however and when Weir (Quatro) breaks and flat out disses the twins and Ikana and even Vulisse, who had saved the beloved twins life, even he has to crack and realize something is up.
Quatro- Weir. Totally spazzed at the wedding, blinded by the jealousy and annoyance that so many things were going wrong. Her fiancee seems to be liking this Seye thing, and worse you find out it is his big time love of his life, and everyone likes her. The twins (who doted on her in the beginning if you notice, and only stopped because she was showing a side they hadn't really noticed with clear eyes, to a girl they thought was harmless) suddenly stopped being cute, and were now threatening her entire future she had cultivated so well. Plus, her plans backfired big time, and now all the cards were there on the table at her WEDDING for crying out loud, which is supposedly the biggest day of your life, and THEN you get dissed in front of EVERYONE, so yes, she snapped and released it all, showing not only Auryx, but her father, that she was completely capable of such things. This not only dashed her pride, but her standing in the entire frame of Urgishai standing. If she had ever married and became the leader of the wolf tribe, they would always whisper a bit about how underhanded she could be. Pretty much she fouled up badly. So now everyone knows the truth, and this shakes Roarke so much, ( and remember he is not an idiot, he would not allow his tribe to be ruled by someone like that) that he immediately handles this. Again, I need to stress these things and not assume everythingI created is obvious, lol. Sorry!!
Um….I can't seem to think of other bloopers- I fixed a few small ones, misspellings and calling someone a name by accident when I meant someone else. Hit me up if I missed something, okies? I know my characters too well, their heads I mean, maybe my failing is not making it clear enough- sometimes I forget not everyone knows them inside and out. My intense apologies!