Chapter 1: Let's Get Fucked Up and Die

Zoe Washington was bored. I'd imagine you would be too if you still couldn't fall asleep at six in the morning. If boredom could kill, she would have been dead days ago. As she lay there staring at her ceiling and contemplating what the hell the Motion City Soundtrack song 'LG Fuad' stood for, her cell phone rang. Her hand shot out for it.

"Augustana, it is six o'clock in the morning on a Saturday which in my world still makes it Friday night. Why are you calling me?" she drawled absently, still pondering the song.

"Cardigan called me utterly distraught, crying loudly and hysterically into the phone at around four-thirty and I couldn't calm her down. Amethyst is already there. She's been there for about half an hour," replied Augustana Milosh, unfazed at her best friend. "I'm parked in your driveway so hurry up."

Zoe rolled out of bed stretching her long legs and walked to her window facing the driveway. She pulled back the thick, black curtains and frowned. "Cardio Wainwright is no friend of mine, therefore…the first six words in the damn song! Why the hell did it take me so long to figure it out? 'Let's get fucked up and die', of course!"

Augustana looked at her phone in confusion. "What are you on Blue?"

"Don't call me Blue, Milo and I just figured something out is all." She observed her blonde, bright blue-eyed friend looking perfect leaning against her green Mustang. Zoe looked down at herself, her brown eyes studying her mocha skin behind her black-rimmed glasses. "What's wrong with the tyrant now?"

"Roman died when he was in bed with his fiancée who screamed bloody murder, successfully waking up everyone in the house." Augustana answered knowing the mental battle her friend was having. "You know you want to come if only to see her cry."

Zoe flipped her off with both hands. "Can you see that Milo? Can you see the two birds from your view little worm? I hope you can. I am offended by that, you make me sound like some sadistic bitch!"

"You are sometimes and it may not be intentionally but you can be really evil and cruel. Besides, you know you want to see her cry. It'll give you one up on her in this ongoing war that the two of you have. She's never seen you cry before." Milo smiled in victory, knowing the last part hooked her in even as Blue hesitated and looked up at the rising sun.

"You…suck." Blue closed her Motorola PEBL and curtains before grabbing her black 2007 school hoodie off her floor and stuffing her feet into her Vans. She pulled her long braids into a messy bun and ran downstairs, only pausing to grab her keys and turn off the alarm before leaving the house. Sliding into the passenger seat, she waited as Milo inspected her clothes.

"Sleepwear is not meant to be worn out in public nor is it meant to be a substitute for everyday apparel." Milo stated as if she were reading out of a textbook.

"People go to school in their pyjamas all the time. You're just jealous that I don't have to go through the tedious routine of finding a 'suitable outfit' just to leave the house." She watched as they left her neighborhood. "Can we stop for coffee?"

"You're not serious."

"I am very serious. I'm a 'caffeine whore' remember? We can just make a quick pit stop to the 7-11 or something."

Milo stared at her for a couple of minutes. "How inconsiderate can you be?"

"What? Like Meth wouldn't have stopped and gotten something."

"It's rude!"

"How? How is my nourishment rude?"

"She just lost a sibling and we come rolling in with coffee like we had time to stop and nothing major was happening!"

"He's dead Milo and Cardigan is still going to be mourning her dead big brother when we get there. Caffeine…caffeine…caffeine…caffeine damn it Just because you're th-this…this being that's immune to all things caffeine and stimulants doesn't mean that I am! I am dependent damn it and without my caffeine I'm like a crack head with no crack, a sex fiend in solitude with no hands for self-gratification plugged into a system that steals all sexual thoughts, a cop with no doughnut! I…NEED…IT!" Blue shouted, a vein in her neck throbbing.

Milo just pulled into Cardigan's driveway behind Amethyst's Range Rover and shut off the ignition. "You forgot an athlete with no steroids." She laughed at Blue's red face and got out, her car muffling Blue's shouting of obscenities.

She smiled at some of the remaining officers and curious neighbors as they turned a curious eye to the car. From inside, a thumping could be heard. Milo glanced at her watch and waited.

Blue finally got out of the car nearly ten minutes later, breathing heavily and they walked to the door. She extended her fist and knocked. "Why the hell does she live in a mansion? There were only five of them they don't need thirteen bedrooms. It's not like they're housing the help or something."

Milo sighed. "Must we go through this every time we're here?"

"Yes we must because your bitch friend fired Bessie. Bessie was the best damn thing that ever happened to her. I like Bessie and that's why Bessie was fired and if I were Bessie I would've—"

Blue stopped when the door opened and smiled as she recognized the maid. "Hello Ginger, we're so sorry for the loss. We know how close you are to the children."

"If you're going to be sarcastic—" started Ginger.

"I was being serious! I'm sorry Roman is gone, he was the big brother I always wanted!" Blue said indignantly.

"If you're going to be sarcastic don't go upstairs Blue, stay down here and have breakfast with Percival." Ginger instructed, ignoring Blue's exasperation and closed the door. She had worked for the Wainwright family for the ten years.

"See…it all works Blue. You get nourishment and I'm here for our friend." Milo said nearing the stairs.

"She's your friend. I only come for the help, food and her bro—"

"Sherry?" interrupted a choked sob from the top of the stairs. Cardigan stood crying with her auburn hair resembling a bird's nest, dressed in sweatpants Blue didn't know she owned and a worn tee shirt. She ran down the stairs into Augustana's open arms. "Sherry I just can't believe that this is happening! It's not real! He's not dead! In a couple of hours we'll get a call that his body is missing and when we go to rush out the front door, he'll be standing there laughing and the joke will be on us!"

Blue bit her lip as she tried to hold in laughter. Tears were streaming down her face when she finally allowed Ginger to drag her into the kitchen. When the kitchen door closed she snorted and covered her face. A few minutes later she moved her hands to address the teen at the kitchen table. "Pussy, I just want you to know th-that I'm not laughing…I'm not laughing at your f-family's loss. It's just…your sister!"

"Zoe Esther Washington how many times do I have to tell you not to call him that and Percival Saul Wainwright do not answer to that!" Ginger scolded, setting a plate filled with food and a mug of coffee next to Percy. "Address him again and right this time."

"Fine I'll waste unnecessary words to address him again. Percy, my fiery-haired god you, did you get sent away because your sister's bawling is hilarious?" Blue asked sitting next to him and ignoring Ginger's glare.

Percy turned his head to speak to her, his green eyes bright with laughter. "No, I got sent here for something else."

"Pussy you tell me what you…Sorry!" Blue said through a mouthful of bacon and grits that Ginger always went out of her way to make for her. She swallowed and turned to Ginger. "Which was the glare for, Pussy or talking with my mouth full?"

"Both and you call him Pussy again—"

"And you'll call me mam and tell 'er what I've done after you've washed me mouth out with soap and made me rinse with bleach. I know." Blue turned back to Percy. "Spill…now!"

"You know, I don't think I can. It's just too…oh I can't even bear to speak the words aloud. Hey!" He frowned as a piece of bacon landed in his cup and a pancake drenched in syrup hit his shirt. He shoveled eggs into his spoon and flung them at her, some landing in her coffee. "Bitch."


"Children!" Ginger yelled, grabbing their ears long enough to get their attention before cleaning up the mess. She handed the wash cloth to Percy to wipe his shirt. "Knock it off! You are not two years old anymore so don't act like you are! Do you understand me? Because if you want to act like toddlers I will turn you over my knee and spank you like I would a toddler! You hear me?"

"Yes ma'am." They chorused, rubbing their released ears.

Blue waited until she turned around to pick up a handful of grit. "Tell me or have a white steamy Christmas."

"Alright, alright I'll tell you but put your weapon down." She dropped the grits back onto her plate and cleaned off her hand, looking at him expectantly. "Well as you know, Roman was found dead this morning. He was discovered in bed this morning by his fiancée Meredith who woke us all up screaming bloody murder at four in the morning."

"Yeah and…?"

"Well, he wasn't exactly just laying there when she realized that something was wrong. They were actually in a bit of a—I guess you could say—compromising position."

"Compromising position? What do you mean—?"

"They were having sex and drawing closer to their climaxes." Percy rushed staring at the wall.

Blue's fork fell from her hand, clattering against her plate. Her hand was frozen near her face as she stared at Percy. She forced her hand down and opened her mouth to speak but it only came out as a scandalous whisper. "No!"


"He was…"

"Thrusting in and out of her."

"And he…"

"Died in the act. She screamed when his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell on her and stopped moving."

"And that's how they were found?"

"Yep, my dad had to get him off of her."

"What did your dad say afterwards?"

Percy's face broke out into a smile and he began to turn red. "He waited until he was out of earshot of Meredith and Cardigan and mom who was on the phone of course. But he said 'helluva way to die. I wouldn't be surprised if Meredith becomes a nun'!"

They looked at each other and burst out laughing, gripping the table for support. Percy snorted like a pig and Blue fell off her chair sending them both into more fits of laughter. When they finally managed to stop laughing, they had tears rolling down their faces and were only letting out a few chuckles.

"Man I love you dad. He's a real funny guy." Blue wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "So where's you dad now, why hasn't he been banished to the kitchen as well?"

"He's being yelled at by mom. Apparently we weren't far enough away for her not to hear us. She doesn't know what to think about how we found Roman dead like that but we're not supposed to tell Cardigan. She was the last to get to Roman's room and by then my dad had moved him and mom had asked Meredith not to say anything about it to her. Although, I don't think Meredith's ever going to really tell anyone how he died and I don't as a family that we're going to be able to talk about Roman's death just because they were actually having sex when he croaked."

"Outside the kitchen door, Milo and Cardigan's voices neared and they struggled for composure. When they walked in, Percy was staring at his plate and Blue had her sleeve over her face. Ginger just fixed the two newcomers a plate and sat them on the table.

"What are you two doing?" Milo asked the pair as Cardigan sniffled, sitting across from her brother. "What's so—?"

"Cardigan where'd you go?" called their friend, Amethyst Zazie as she opened the door. She ran a hand through her shoulder length brown hair and smiled at everyone. "Good morning everyone."

"I hate all of you now, you too Ginger." Blue muttered, poking at her food. "At my most beautiful this is what I look like. Everybody else looks so perfect and mag-cover worthy. I'm glad I have all the right friends to make me feel inferior."

Amethyst stared at her blinking in confusion while Milo just raised an eyebrow. Ginger ignored her, which wasn't uncommon and Percy smiled. But as always, Cardigan gave the best response.

"Why the hell are you even here!? I don't like you and I don't like you in my house. You're just some sadistic psycho who likes nothing more than to see me suffer and I want you out of my house! Now!"

"All in favor stand." Blue replied unaffected. Cardigan stood, glaring at Amethyst so she stood. "Ginger doesn't count because she's working so it's two to three. It's no wonder how you ever became the top of the high school food chain, I mean only cream and bastards rise and I seriously doubt you're cream. Although I think wench would be a better word. You're like a dictator, using fear to get your subjects and sycophants to do your bidding."


"Now of all the variations of fuck that you know, you had to call me motherfucking? Uncle fucking zero…possibly, a cocksucking zero…maybe but a motherfucking zero? Was that supposed to hurt my feelings, for you to call me a zero? That's not how you insult someone you hate. This is how you insult someone that you can't stand Cardio.

"You think you're better than everyone and you think you know what's best but you don't have a damn clue about anything but how to ride, give head or anything pertaining to the release of semen from the male species. You are nothing but a rich whore whose parents couldn't give two shits about her so you go out and seek validation from sleeping with and pleasuring all the guys in reach. I'm surprised you haven't molested Percy in his sleep because you were so horny, you fucked up nympho." She watched as Cardigan's lower lip began to tremble and she blinked back tears.

Blue drawled lazily, "Why are you still here?"

Cardigan ran out of the kitchen to her room, followed closely by Amethyst. Percy just sat staring at Blue with a hint of amusement in his face as Ginger glared at her from her place in front of the sink. Milo on the other hand just sighed and shook her head.

"Blue! That was mean and thoughtless," Milo reprimanded. "I'm disappointed in you right now and the fact that we're friends. She just lost your brother and you couldn't muster some sympathy for her at all."

"She's not thinking about Roman now is she?" Blue replied raising an eyebrow. "In fact, I don't think she's going to be thinking about Roman for a while now and by then she'll just be too exhausted to start crying again. I, however, am leaving before I end up being sued or slapped with some sort of lawsuit. Thus I will see you later Milo, Percy and Ginger. Have a nice day and remind yourselves of whatever gets you through today."

She stood, carrying her plate to the counter and walked out the kitchen door. After exiting the front door she groaned at the summer morning heat and pulled off her hoodie. As she continued down the sidewalk, she heard footsteps and someone calling her name. She turned around.

Percy ran towards her with something in his hand. He stopped in front of her breathing heavily and shoved it at her. "Here."

"What is it?"

"Happy seventeenth birthday Blue, sorry it didn't start off well."

Confusion marred her features. "It's not my birthday."

"Yeah it is. It's the fourteenth and this is June."

"It's my birthday? Wow. Well…thanks Percy. I guess I don't expect anything anymore when it comes to my birthday. I doubt that my family will even remember when they wake up. There is so much bullshit going on today in my family…

"My dad is coming home from a business trip that had him in Kentucky so my mom is picking him up from the airport but has to restock our food supplies before then. My oldest brother is coming in with his wife and kids and my oldest sister is pregnant again coming with her husband and kids but they're coming for someone's wedding tomorrow or whatever. My other brother and sister are bringing their spouses and children and the twins wouldn't care about it unless there was cake, which I don't even eat.

"So just…thanks Percy. Thanks for remembering my birthday when you lost your big brother. At least someone could." She took a step forward and awkwardly wrapped her arms around him like it pained her to do so.

He just laughed and pulled her against him. "There is so much love within and surrounding your family and the fact that you can't stand giving someone a hug is hilarious to me."

"Bitch." she said pushing him away and smiling.

"Hey now, I only speak the truth. Going over to your house is like taking a drug there's so much love in the air you can't help but be happy." He watched as she nodded absently, her smiling disappearing.

"You know when the hilarity of how Roman died wears off and when reality kicks in, it's gonna hurt."

"Yeah I know. I'm trying to keep the humor in it for as long as I can."

She took a step towards him nervously, her hands gripping her jacket and gift but her eyes intense. "If you need me…if you need someone to be there for you, you can always call me. You know that right?"

He nodded running a hand through his hair and began to turn his body away from her. "At funeral…I…I don't care what Cardigan says. I want you to be there. If I start to…if I for whatever reason…" He trailed off, pulling her into another hug and released her just as quickly before walking away. "I'll see you later."

"I love you Percy!" she yelled suddenly and he stopped.

He turned and smiled at her shrug. "I love you too Blue."

She watched as he began walking home again and waited until he disappeared inside his house before she turned to walk home.

Forrest Gump…you sure nailed it on the head. Life is just one big surprise after the other and when you bite into the next chocolate, you have to wonder what's next. You have to wonder whether you'll savour it or spit it out like poison only to do it all over again.

Author's Note: the title is different as well as the summary and the chapter is a little different now then when i first posted it. it's rated M mostly for language. let me know what you think pls.