if only it could have been that simple

if only it could have been that simple

(then I might not be writing this)
as it twists, turns, threads through
all my writings (b/c of you)
like those journals from two years back
that meant everything at that time
with these memories, refusing to leave,
of the two of us wondering just what
happened to the (somebody) I used to be
and I was writing about him for so long
because I had (nearly) forgotten about you
and then she called me last night,
this is where it gets complicated and

if only it could have been that simple,

she says "isn't it funny that i dated him
(that's you) and now i'm dating the cousin"
and I may be a bitch but I'm thinking
"what? did you meet him at the funeral?"
but what comes out is silence, it's like
a buried treasure chest only without
the treasure we searched so long for
and she keeps talking about our times
on the train tracks (I'm sorry about that)
and bike rides but she'll never know
the real secret that we pinky-promised
about what happened after you&her and

if only it could have been that simple

that you loved me, then loved her
but no, it was way-too-far from that
because we were supposed to be just
-friends but silly us, plans never work
(when you're with me anyways)
and you loved her and she broke your
heart in eighth grade, isn't that crazy,
but you called me and said, "I think
I'm falling for you." (not her)
and it was just-our-art-class-secret
when I finally moved a state away

if only it could have been that simple

it might have ended that day in the
tenth grade (september something)
as I packed my bags and the secret stayed
between me and you (not my best friend)
b/c my best friend was her (the her)
but I was sitting in the hallway, the last day
of your school, visiting another friend
when you walked by and it was like
yesterday when you said you fell
and we went our separate ways, again

if only it could have been that simple

she (yes, the her you used to love)
called me on that day in august
but she called and she cried and I
will always remember what she said
when memories came back, "he died"
but boy, you said you fell for me
and that is all I thought of when she
called me last night to tell me her secret
but I can never tell her yours and mine

if only it could have been that simple

author's note:a poem written in response to Tikklz's comment on "five months..." andi have just decidedi really hate capital letters for some reason. so read this, read "five months...", read "the summers we lost" if you have that much patience, you might be able to figure it all out. (maybe)