I was dreaming again, but it was not of anything pleasant, not a nightmare just nothing happy either. I wish I could remember what it is but everything seems so abstract at the moment. I think I dreamed that Irvine had finally come back home, he came home to save me, to help me from the mess that I had been making out of my life. In my dream I was happy that he had come back but at the same time I was upset that he thought that I wasn't able to take care of Jolie and myself without his assistance. It was an irrational thought, but then again it was only a dream, maybe reflecting my true feeling but in my conscious state I would be able to work these things out much better. I could feel my head pounding heavily, as if my brain was trying to rip through my skull, wincing my eyes such and turned over onto my side to see if the pain would ease. Someone hot humid breathe was tickling my face.

I woke up from another one of my dazes with Jolie sitting in front of me. Her face was right in front of mine, and I must admit that the whole situation was pretty awkward. I mean it's not everyday that you wake up to find your sister staring you in the eye. Sometimes Jolie does crazy things like that though.

"Kade, what is your problem? First you pass out on the floor, and then you practically tell Irvine to get the hell out of the apartment. And now you are acting all strange again, are you sure you are okay? I wasn't sure what type of response she was looking for, but deep down I knew the silent treatment was immature so I forced myself to respond despite my original intentions,

"Jolie will you please shut up, I'm not feeling well and you are only making things ten times worse, sometimes I wish you would mind your own business and let me mind mine."

I really didn't want to lash out a Jolie like I did but like I said the silent treatment wouldn't be effective and too much thinking and worrying was going on in my head, I didn't want to add my pent of rage to that jumble as well. I have been trying to cope with everything that has happened over the last few hours, but I seem to be having trouble with the idea that Irvine came back. I mean sure he's our brother and he probably felt bad about leaving us in the first place, but I figured that he left for a reason, and that reason was good enough to keep him gone for good. But I guess for these past two years I've been wrong; he's reason must not have been all that great. My mind keeps wandering back to my dream, am I only having these thoughts because deep down I don't want Irvine to come back? Am I worried that he is going to tear apart the world that I have worked so hard to put together?

"Kade I am really tired of this behavior, why are you ignoring me, it's a simple question, and I hope you realize that you can't just run away from all of this. Not talking to me is not going to make me magically disappear." I knew that Jolie was right, I couldn't keep ignoring her forever, I mean I lived with her, eventually I'd have to talk to her, but for the time being I just needed to be by myself.

"Jolie, I am not ignoring you, I really just need to think for a bit, don't get upset and don't try and be the older sister now, I haven't needed you to fill that role for two years, so I sure as hell don't need it now." I knew that my words were harsher then was necessary but I had a feeling that the message wouldn't get across any other way, plus I had already given her fair warning. Really all I wanted was a little bit of time to myself, and that's when I decided that if I wanted to be alone the only thing to do was to actually get up and leave the apartment. I went back to my room and found a jacket in the back corner of my room, I wasn't the neatest of people but I was somehow able to locate what I needed. I walked past Jolie on my way to the front door and didn't think that I had to explain myself, I am a grown woman, she is nowhere near being my mother and I can make my own decisions, after all I have been the provider for this family for two years, that means I should be granted some freedoms. I quickly reached for the door, and pulled it open, I figured that Jolie would have some of protest about me leaving, but I didn't expect Irvine to come out of the kitchen to confront me before I left,

"Hey Kade, do you think you could grab a few things from the store, I mean if you guys want me to stick around this time, I think we are going to need a few provisions, oh and don't worry about money, Doll, I've managed to come across a bit of that in my many adventures, so I'll reimburse you when you get back." I had nothing to say in response, well that's a lie, I wanted to ask him where he got this money he mentioned from and where the cocky attitude he was flaunting was acquired. My mind was racing with all the questions I wanted to ask him but for some reason my heart felt like I just wasn't ready for the answers he was going to provide. So instead of asking my brother anything, I just nodded my head in a way of agreement and walked out the front door.

It was colder than I thought it would be outside, and I was glad that I stopped to grab my jacket before leaving the apartment because without it I don't think I would have been able to make it past our block. I don't want to think about everything that just happened back at the apartment, I don't want to think about Jolie trying to act her age, I don't want to think about how Irvine has finally returned home and I don't want to think about my fainting spells. For some reason though I can't turn my mind away from those three things, I wonder if Jolie is finally growing up, or if Irvine is going to stay for good and then I think if I should go back on my medication, I don't remember if it helped or not, but I think it might make the family feel better about everything. I guess if makes me more stable, or at least that's the illusion that I think it would give off, if I took my pills then I won't be the crazy sister who can't control her body. Now I am making my self sound like a deranged nymphomaniac, and that's a funny thought, I mean if anyone is a deranged it's definitely not me, my head is placed firmly on my shoulders, or something along those lines.

I have gotten so lost in my own thoughts that I don't realize that I am about to cross the street on my way to the nearby coffee shop, I absolutely love that place so it is no surprise that in my contemplation I was driven to go to my secret spot. Okay I admit it's not much of a secret but Jolie still doesn't know about it and Irvine doesn't even know it exists, so it's secret from those I don't want to be around, the rest of the coffee people I can handle. Well as I mentioned before as my mind was thinking about everything that just occurred, my body was about to cross the street and I am not talking about some innocent little side road, where only one car goes by every two hours, no I am talking about one of the busiest streets in this whole town. Well let me just get something straight when your body decides to cross a road all on its own nothing good can come of it. And that's just what happened to me, my mind was too busy thinking that it wasn't able to tell my body not to cross the road right when a big truck was whizzing down the same road.

The fainting spells are definitely getting worse; I should probably start back up on those pills in the morning, that's the last thought that goes through my head before I shift back into a deeper sleep. I don't even feel the strong arms that lift me off the sidewalk that I had been pushed into, so that my body was not crushed by that truck.