Title: In A Battle of Bad Pick Up Lines

Summary: "… Samuel Adams." "As in the beer?" I asked curiously. "As in the beer," he affirmed. "Also as in the Samuel Adams who signed the Declaration of Independence, but hell, all we know is the beer."

Rated: T, for mild language and sexual innuendo.


Before him, I thought all guys talked in grunts and innuendos. Well, I still do think so, but now I hold the opposite sex in much higher esteem.

People thought Don Hughes was the hottest thing to hit the music world. As the bass player for the popular alternative band Winner Takes All, he was the crazy one. He jumped around on stage like an escaped mental institution patient. All in all… he was just plain crazy.

Everyone loved him for that.

Of course, the love was also fueled by the undeniable dark good looks. He was skinny, but you could also see defined muscle on his arms. His eyes were an intense shade of dark green, and he had the devilish smirk to boot.

But it wasn't him that I fell in love with.

I fell in love with blue-eyed, lightly freckled redhead. The Irish one who was the voice behind Winner Takes All. Of course, all the girls looked to Don and swooned, looking past my Irish boy to watch Donny the Deranged dance.

I have enough crazy for the two of us, I think.

Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself. It all started at Christmas, really…


December 25th, 2004 – Christmas Day a year before…

"Sarah!" my best friend, Winona, exclaimed. She was gliding towards me with her arms wide open, and I stepped into the warm hug. Winona retreated slightly to take a good look at me.

I had donned an elegant dark blue gown, complete with the white gloves and the sapphire hair clip tucking my hair back from my face. The gown itself was simple, yet had a classy aura to it that had lured me to buy it in the first place. The hair clip was a present given many years ago from my mother on Christmas. It was only fitting to wear it this night.

"Honey, you look absolutely fabulous," Winona complimented generously. "If I was a lesbian, I would have my way with you right now." I blinked and let out a noise of incredulity. Winona shrugged and added, "But I'm not so I'll resist the temptation." We both grinned brightly as I, in turn, began showering her with praise for her good choice in clothing.

My eyes roved over the large ballroom, lingering on a banner that read, "CONGRATULATIONS Thoughts for a Penny Records ON YOUR 25TH YEAR IN BUSINESS!" Indeed, Thoughts for a Penny records had been running for nigh 25 years, one of the most successful record companies in the music industry. Winona was an executive in the company and was so excited about this milestone that she decided to throw a party. Winnie had invited me in hopes that she could hook me up with someone at the party.

"After all, plenty of the big names in the music industry would be attending," she had reminded me. I reluctantly acquiesced to her requests, seeing as there really is no point in trying to argue with Winona when she's set on something.

After having a good laugh over the boa Winnie had draped around her shoulders, we were approached by none other than our good friend Lily, who was bursting with excitement.

"Oh my God, Winnie, Sarah, I have to introduce you to the band that I'm managing," Lily rambled excitedly. "They have such a great sound and I know you'll appreciate them!" Did I mention that Lily works Thoughts for a Penny? "Come, come!"

Before I knew it, I was being dragged off to meet this "band with a great sound that you'll surely appreciate". Lily held me by the wrist and pulled me up next to her as she halted beside four formally-dressed males. Winona stopped by my side, rolling her eyes towards Lily and letting out an exasperated growl. I held in a grin. Lily's enthusiasm had its good and bad moments.

"Sarah, Winnie, this is the band I was talking about, Winner Takes All," Lily began, waving a hand to the group of men. She began introducing them, starting at the left, "This is Gary Winchester, the drummer. This is Peter Heislan, on the keyboard. This is Don Hughes, on the bass."

"You're Donny the Deranged," I interrupted, gazing at him with a keen eye. Don Hughes grinned wickedly and bowed slightly.

"I see my reputation precedes me," he stated with a toothy smile.

"And I can see you live up to your name quite well," I retorted, not at all impressed. Lily gazed between the two of us briefly, and then introduced the last member of the band.

"Lastly, this is Samuel—"

"Sammy," he interrupted.

"Sammy," Lily corrected, "Adams."

"As in the beer?" I asked curiously. The ends of Sammy's lips upturned slightly.

"As in the beer," he affirmed. "Also as in the Samuel Adams who signed the Declaration of Independence, but hell, all we know is the beer." I tried to resist cracking a small smile at his statement.

Lily, somewhat annoyed at being interrupted once again, continued, "This is Winona Townsend. She's one of my bosses at the record company." The members of Winner Takes All nodded and muttered their polite greetings to Winnie, who returned the greetings with a warm smile.

"And finally, this is Sarah Aire," Lily introduced me.

"As in President of Aire Electronics, Sarah Aire?" Sammy interjected. I finally released a genuine smile.

"So my reputation precedes me," I drawled, mimicking Don's earlier words.

Speaking of him… Donny the Deranged finally decided to grab the spotlight once again as he exclaimed, "Free beer!" His eyes were trained on the bar, and he swaggered over there like he was the King of the Universe. Lily beamed enigmatically, urging the rest of Winner Takes All to take advantage of the free refreshments. Lily tried to convince me and Winona to come along as well, but in the end, I had refused. To my surprise, so did Sammy.

"You don't drink?" I queried, blinking. "You'd think someone named after a beer would drink, no?" He laughed – it wasn't an awkward guffawing laugh like most people's were, which pleased me to no end – and stretched his lips in a grin.

"Well, someone with the last name of Aire is fully expected to be an airhead, isn't that right?" Sammy returned, a lopsided half-smile crossing his lips. His trademark lopsided half-smile made me think of the prince with the lopsided crown.

"Touché," I conceded. A warm, butterfly-like feeling erupted in my stomach as we both chuckled. If he wasn't a prince, he was pretty damn close to one. I wouldn't be waiting for him to sweep me off my feet. I'd jump his bones already.

But no. Must have patience. Must resist jumping his completely… delectable… bones…

"You're blushing," he pointed out none-too-subtly.


"So is it just me or is it hot in here?" I nervously piped up, trying to make the blushing go away. I didn't blush easily, so this occurrence caught me off-guard.

"If you were trying to pick me up with that line, you got it completely backwards," Sammy said casually. "It usually goes, 'Is it just me, or are you really hot?'"

"Ah, so that's how it goes!" I cried out mockingly as if in relief. A mischievous glint entered into my eyes. 'This could be fun…' I thought wickedly. "So, do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?"

"Good one – actually used it once, mind you," Sammy smirked, thoroughly amused by the game. "Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

"Ooh, witty!" I applauded him as he took an exaggerated bow. "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so… you might as well be there."

"And it gets more original!" Sammy quips cheerfully. "The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word."

"You just said crib," I griped in disbelief. Sammy shrugged innocently, and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "So is your name Visa?"

"Umm… no. Why?" Sammy made a point to tap his chin in thought as he played along.

"'Cause you're everywhere I wanna be!" I finished triumphantly. We both erupted into laughter.

"Clever. Very clever." Sammy smiled and winked. "What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" I blinked for a second before my mouth formed an "o" as I realized the meaning of his words. I snorted in amusement.

"Terribly brilliant, that is," I said, faking an accent that was a cross between British and Australian. Just for good measure. "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."

"That went straight to the heart, lass," said Sammy, slipping into an Irish accent slightly. Suddenly, he takes me by the upper arms and turns me slightly, fumbling with something on my back.

I blinked. "What are you doing?" I was close to screaming rape, even though I found his company enjoyable.

"Checking the tag on your dress," he murmurs absently. He then turns me around again and looks me in the eyes. "Just as I thought. Made in heaven." My features melted into a warm expression.

"Ah, you're good, you're really good," I yielded. An impish grin crossed his lips, and I started mentally berating myself for giving him this opening.

"Lass, you have no idea," Sammy quipped suggestively. We both chuckled, continuing to fire the lamest pick up lines back and forth at each other. This was the beginning of a very beautiful… err… thing.


December 31st, 2004 – New Year's Eve a year before…

"Only one minute to go until midnight, people! One minute!" A nameless person zoomed past me with a megaphone, obviously more than a bit intoxicated from his movements. Winona stood by my side as she sneered in disdain at the man. She turned to me with a brighter expression.

"Have you found your lover boy yet, Sarah?" she said, much more excited than I was at the prospect of me finding Sammy.

"He said he'd be here, but then again, men aren't known for their punctuality," I commented dryly. After being here for the past hour, I had yet to find Sammy within the large crowd gathered in the hotel ballroom. It was Lily who was throwing the party this time, and she went all out. She had hired bouncers – big men who were rather lenient with who entered with whom, if you ask me. I could've sworn I saw a 16-year-old dancing on a table near the bar. Lily didn't mind though. 'The bigger the party, the louder. The louder, the funner!" she always answered when Sarah asked her about the minors.

"Eh, don't give up yet, darling," Winnie murmured to me soothingly. "He's bound to be here somewhere." Just then, a man approached Winona and had invited her to dance with him. As Winona sauntered away, she threw back over her shoulder, "Good luck with your Irish boy!" before disappearing within the crowds.

My Irish boy, indeed. As far as I know, Sammy could've hooked up with another girl over the week that had passed. I mulled over this as I downed some of my ice water. I had opted to stay sober during this party. Having never been much of a drinker, I couldn't hold my liquor all that well and the last time I had downed too many shots… well, it wasn't glamorous.

I roved my eyes over the crowd once more, hoping to spot a red head to be bobbing up and down between the ever-moving mass of people. I jumped as a hand had unexpectedly landed on my shoulder.

"Do you know what'd look good on you?" a familiar voice whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes and said the obligatory, "What?" I turned around and was met with equally familiar blue eyes.

"Me," Sammy finished, a triumphant smirk gracing his face. The man with the megaphone zoomed past us again, yelling, "TWENTY SECONDS!"

"Do you have the time?" I inquired, pretending I didn't know him. Serve him right for being late.

"Do you have the energy?" he retorted, the lopsided half-smile on his face. Damn, but he knew how to cave my defenses in.

"Fifteen seconds!"

"Hi," I whispered, feeling shy for some reason. He paused for a moment, furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled.

"Well hello there," he muttered, his blue eyes dancing in amusement.

"Ten seconds!"

"So tell me something," he began.


"Would you mind too terribly…"


"… if I kissed you right now?"


Not expecting the question, I blinked…


…And blinked.


"Sure, why not?" I finally decided, a smile gracing my lips.


"Such enthusiasm!" he complained, a hand emphasizing his words. I rolled my eyes.


"Fine. Oh, Sammy! Hold me, kiss me, make me a woman!" I exclaimed dramatically, placing a hand on my forehead for the theatrical effect.


"Now when you put it that way…" Sammy bent his head and I unconsciously raised mine.


Our lips met.

Bring on the fireworks, baby.


That's all it took, really. On that night, I was swept clean off my feet and never once was ever let down. Not that I wanted to get down, really.

We dated for about seven months before eventually marrying. I'll spare you the drama of the actual wedding. Let's just say that all the chaos was caused by a clash between his mother and Winona, the record company exec turned wedding planner. All out cat fight, that was. Meow, hiss, hiss.

We're at the reception now, as I listen to the loud music and equally loud chatter around me. My hand is resting in the crook of my fiancé—excuse me—husband's elbow, not noticing the man tapping my shoulder.

"'Ello, love, do you have a mirror in your pocket?" the man slurred drunkenly. I glance towards Sammy, he and I both knowing what the man would say next.

"No, why?" I indulged the poor inebriated man in amusement.

"'Cause I keep seeing myself in them," he ended with a sloppy grin. Lily came flying out of nowhere, seizing the man and berating him viciously. She cast me an apologetic look and sent for a security guard to escort the man out of the building.

"Isn't it ironic?" Sammy muttered as we both chuckled at the man's expense.

"Yeah," I agreed quietly. "On the day we get together, we get accosted by a man using the same techniques that had pulled us together in the first place."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sammy gave me a queer look. "I was thinking more of being in the same hotel ballroom as the first two times we had seen each other." I shook my head, laughing outright. Sammy glanced at me sideways once again, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Women. Think too damn hard," he declared as I kept on laughing.

That's my Irish boy.