I'm sorry. It is a permanent solution to a permanent problem. I have been running from too many of my demons, for far too long. No matter how much I talk about them and try to forget them; I have to keep running and hiding. Yet they still remain. I'm tired of running. Tired of hiding. I have lost this battle like Custer in his slaughter. I feel guilty that I have caused you pain. Once I have gone you are free to do what you want without any pain.
Please understand I trust you more than anyone else. I trust and love you more than I trust and love myself. There is no point in me living if I am an empty shell. I have no love for myself. I am unable to understand myself; even with all the help everyone has given me.
I love you.