'Twas the summer of '04, and a very special day.

The kids in my church group and I were all going away

On a week-long camp retreat; 'twould be my first time ever.

And would this camp bring my defeat? No, it wouldn't. Never!

Or so I thought at first, at least, approaching Camp Headwaters.

Yet even so, I soon would learn that fans were dirty rotters!

Five minutes had I been there as I sat atop a bunk bed,

While a dangerously low ceiling fan spun right next to my head!

I didn't notice it at first, but soon I certainly would;

As I carelessly jumped down from bed, I was headed for no good.

Searing pain goes through me now; my head the fan had sliced!

Perhaps a dangerous camp like this was somewhat overpriced.

Blood flowed from my cranial wound. Headwaters indeed!

Then along came a counselor, to help out a camper in need.

A quick cloth 'rond the head was a good makeshift solution,

Just to prevent the infection from further germ pollution.

I shuddered when they stated that quite deep was my gash;

More than I had realized, this fan made quite a slash!

Even worse to me was when the word "hospital" was spoke.

Please tell me this was just someone's cruel idea of a joke!

But a joke it certainly was not, and to the hospital we went.

Seeking a way to mend by new-gotten bodily dent.

The pain had mostly subsided now, but would I be okay?

We seemed to be in the waiting room forever and a day.

To the doctor's office I'm called, to learn my imminent fate.

Can my fatal wound be healed, or are we already too late?

Small comfort offers thin paper, strapped across a rubber bed.

The suspense only peaks when the doctor comes in to look at my head.

"Three stitches.", he says, to my shock. This has never happened before!

Will a trio of woven strings help my head restore?

I fear that hurt badly is what they'll do,

But soon this proves not to be true.

Mild pain briefly, but then it is gone;

My cut is sewed up, and the stitches are on.

Now that all is relatively okay,

We head back to camp and call it a day.

On return, I'm happily greeted by friends,

Who are jokingly surprised that I did not meet my end.

The week then continued, just as it would;

Everything happened quite like it should.

But I guess I'm changed now. Inside I'm much more,

For I have endured greater than ever before.

And now, just as any great achievement can,

It has earned me a new nickname...call me Fan Man!