This is when I know how hard this has hit me

When the magnitude finally sets in with those I know

It's Christmas Eve & it's only you that on my mind

You're the only one I want to hear

The only one I want to see

Only you I really want near me

It's only you I see in my mind

But it's you who died only a few months ago

The first Christmas without you

It's so hard to imagine

When you've been with me for the past eighteen

You're the only one I want to hear

The only one I want to see

Only you I really want near me

It's only you I see in my mind

But it's you who died only a few months ago

I'm falling apart still

It's nothing new & it never changes

Still I fall to the floor

As I realize why you're not here

Originally written on December 24, 2005.