Don't Know Why
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Hardly any rhyming in this, but one of my crappy, truthful ones.
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I don't know why, there is no reason,
None that I can pick out,
But I feel a greed, a desperate need,
To see the blood trickle slowly.
Hesitant with the pin, I push,
Scrape the skin until it's white,
My fingers are cold, my wrists are warm,
Nervous, I clench my teeth.
I want to punish myself,
I want to experience the tingling pain,
As it travels like severed nerves,
Up through my arm to my brain.
I'm confused, I'm scared,
Why on Earth am I doing this?
But so many problems crowd in my head,
And I furiously wave aside my doubts.
If it makes me feel better,
Then why not? I don't care,
There doesn't have to be a reason,
For me to punish myself into despair.
And besides, no one loves me,
Who gives a damn what happens to me?
The answer's no one and I know it,
So what the hell, I don't care anymore...