Don't Know Why

- - -

Hardly any rhyming in this, but one of my crappy, truthful ones.

- - -

I don't know why, there is no reason,

None that I can pick out,

But I feel a greed, a desperate need,

To see the blood trickle slowly.

Hesitant with the pin, I push,

Scrape the skin until it's white,

My fingers are cold, my wrists are warm,

Nervous, I clench my teeth.

I want to punish myself,

I want to experience the tingling pain,

As it travels like severed nerves,

Up through my arm to my brain.

I'm confused, I'm scared,

Why on Earth am I doing this?

But so many problems crowd in my head,

And I furiously wave aside my doubts.

If it makes me feel better,

Then why not? I don't care,

There doesn't have to be a reason,

For me to punish myself into despair.

And besides, no one loves me,

Who gives a damn what happens to me?

The answer's no one and I know it,

So what the hell, I don't care anymore...