SPIDER'S POV: BEWARE

Yay! We're goin' to the mountains! Er, mountain… with snow… and cold… and uh… um, those thingies people use to slide down the mountainsides and crash headfirst into trees and rocks. Yeah, those things. The paper thingy said it was a school trippy thing so Twitch was griping like he always does and Aloren was doing that thingy with her eyes that she always does to make him do things and Vyn was doin' the giggly thing like she always does and so now we were goin' to the mountain place! Yay!

I never been to the mountain place, but I heard it was cold, and I don't like cold, but since Twitch is goin', then I have to go too! It would be so lonely without him…

Hehehe. Maybe there will be some females there…

Uh oh, Twitch is making the 'threatening with the poison' face. That's bad. That means he's decided to skip the shooty weapon and the swords, and decided it would be easiest to take a few out at once… Er, a few people… at once… yeah.

But not me! Mwahahahaha, I'm ammune… er, immune, 'cause I'm an arachnid. Ha! I'm good! Yay for me!

"Spider, knock off the victory dance." Oh, oops. Was I doing that again?

"Spider!" Yup. Bad me. Oh, Twitch looks mad; that can't be good. Uh oh, he's growling, bad bad bad bad bad…

Flying across a room is fun. I don't know if he realizes that. WEEeeeeeeoooooooosplat! That's how it usually goes. Fun fun fun! Except for the splat. Splat's not fun. Splat.

Ooo, feel the immaturity flowing… or at least that's what Twitch would say… or something like that anyway.

Let's see… After that rather uncomfortable but still fun splat against the wall, I crawled back over to where Aloren was hugging a very irritated Twitch and crawled up onto her head, and from there onto Twitch's. I don't know why, but his head is very comfortable, and there isn't a bunch of long hair to get tangled up in like there is on Aloren and Vyn and now even Solastian, which is weird, 'cause Solastian is a guy and most guys don't have longish hair and he's just weird.

I'm confusing myself.

Ooo, female… I see female! Yay!

'"'"

Oh dear.

Females.

Dammit.

"Spider…" I began warningly, following his bug-eyed gaze to a group of huddling arachnid females. He ignored me, of course. Him and females… and he wonders why he's never gotten a date.

"Igonnagonowokaybyebye!" he squealed, hopping off of my head, but before he could hit the ground, I caught him by the back of his… eh, neck I guess, and prevented him from tormenting those females for at least a little while longer.

"No, you aren't," I stated simply, turning him to face me. His several eyes gleamed when they oriented on me, and I couldn't help but smirk at his pouting face.

And yes, he was pouting. I've known him long enough to know how an arachnid looks when pouting. It's quite cute really…

I did not just think that.

"But Twiiiiiiitch!" he whined, attempting quite unsuccessfully to stomp on the air. I just ignored him though and dragged his spidery little butt back towards the house, a psychotically cheerful Aloren and a happy Vyn at my heels. Seriously. I almost tripped they were so close.

As soon as I slammed the door shut, I dropped the arachnid back on my head and stalked over to the kitchen, where, not surprisingly, Mother-Dearest was munching quite happily on a cookie Spider had made a few days ago.

I seriously debated on telling her, I really did, but the two girls behind me were so busy pushing past me to get to the stash that it just… kinda slipped my mind.

Uh huh, right.

The girls knew Spider made the cookies, of course, but they didn't care, and even I have to admit they weren't bad. Unfortunately, dearest Mama suffered from arachnophobia, which is actually quite ironic really, considering, so she was probably the only one who would never know, and likely wouldn't have believed me even if I had told her.

Oh well.

It was only a few minutes before something else decided to happen.

The front door opened and closed quietly, almost peacefully even, and all seemed to be going well (and this is where you insert the annoyingly cheerful music la de da whatever), then the next thing I know, though I fully expected it because this was just that sort of day (dammit), there is a thick arm across my shoulders, and someone's foul breath is invading my personal space, while a drunken voice says quite loudly in my ear, "'Ay there, Avek, 'ow's yer Ma doin'?"

Want. Sword. Must. Have. Sword. Scalpel. Dagger. Pointy. Object. Must. Have. Now.

"Twiiiitch, your mom's ex is hanging off your shoulder…" Yes, thank you Spider; I hadn't noticed.

Using only two fingers, I peeled the bastard's arm off of my shoulder and continued into the kitchen, ignoring the looks Aloren and Vyn were giving me as I grabbed one of the sweets and started picking it to pieces, waiting patiently for my mom to notice the old blubber-faced jackass who had decided to follow me into the kitchen.

If only my parents hadn't split… life would be so much calmer, with so many fewer death threats…

I guess it was just too much to ask that the bastard be unwelcome, for the moment Mommy Dearest turned and saw blubber-face, she squealed with delight and quite literally threw herself at him, not seeming to mind at all when the bastard staggered drunkenly before they both fell to the floor, laughing like idiots.

I could just see my dagger sticking up from the bastard's chest, oh yes…

"Twitch, you can't kill the man," Aloren said calmingly, moving warily away from the countertop she had been leaning against to stand at my side, gently wrapping her hand around mine, which I wasn't really surprised to find was holding my favorite dagger, one with thirteen arachnids engraved along the base of the blade and another, larger black and red arachnid serving as the crosspiece. Lovely piece of work, cost a tiny little fortune too; three years to earn enough money to have it made… "Now give me the dagger before you poke someone's eye out."

Of course… wouldn't want to do that… no no, can't do that… must bide my time… Yes, just you wait little man, just you wait.

With great effort, I carefully put the dagger back in the sheath hidden behind my back(yes, I do carry concealed weapons around with me, they are just… normally… concealed), and spun around to grab Spider from where he had slowly been dropping himself from the ceiling above blubber-face's head, fangs bared and hissing , with four legs held in his stalking position.

"Let's make a cake, shall we?" I asked him with a parody of cheerfulness, beginning to make my way further into the kitchen, but I had barely taken a step before Aloren grabbed my arm, shaking her head no as if I were planning on doing something I shouldn't.

"As much as you hate the guy," she said consolingly, "Poisoning him is not the answer." Dammit, she knows me too well.

"Well I don't know about you guys," Vyn announced, stuffing a cookie into one of her pockets, "but I've a sudden craving for pie, and the atmosphere in this house is becoming just a little too heated for my tastes." And with that, she gave a pointed look at the two adults making out on the floor.

Ew.

"Yes. Lets go find some pie," Aloren decided, tightening her grip on my arm as if she feared I would try to escape the moment she let down her guard.

Of course, it might also have had something to do with the fact that my hand was inching towards my dagger again, but maybe not.

So we left the house, and while Vyn went to have a quick chat with the firemen dealing with her truck, I took my mom's van and prepared it for towing so we could take Vyn's truck over to Aloren's where the piece of crap could be stuck on a trailer so we could then later tow it for about five hundred and ninety-four miles to get it to her place and yeah, that means a road trip.

Yippee.


Sorry this is taking so long. It's kinda difficult to write sometimes, even with the chapters being as short as they are. I don't mean to take forever with it, but I keep getting distracted… by about eighteen other things.

And college is about to become another. Poor Spider, I don't know how he'll survive.