Hospitals at Three AM
The Unforgettable Sound
Summary: Devan has an interesting conversation with his friend Evan in a hospital room. One-shot, written at one AM. Includes slash, but nothing like kissing or anything…sorry…
A/U: sorry about not updating anything over break (at least, I don't remember…) I wasn't home at all over break (except for two or three days), and I've been busy ever since. Here you go, though.
I stare at him in mock-awe. "I thought it was impossible for someone to do that,"
"Just sit on their ass day after day, staring into complete nothingness…just because their boyfriend broken up with them.
Evan laughs. His laugh always gives me a warm feeling inside—like I finally belong somewhere, like my life actually has a meaning.
And then it's gone again as he groans. The pain from the tumor brings him back to the unhappy, hellhole that is his life.
"Yeah, well, after so long of having cancer, Devan, you get used to it…It's boring as hell, though, I'll tell you that. Never get cancer…It's not worth the waste, alright?"
"But of course,"
A silence follows my three words. The sounds of the hospital drift back into my mind. I manage to glance at the clock without Evan noticing.
"Hey, Dev, you should get back…It's getting late and I'm sure that Em will wonder why you've been gone from work so long," Evan says. I groan.
"I don't want to though…I'd rather…mmm…"
"Stay here with me in this hellhole they call a hospital, listening to soft classical music when the announcements over the intercom stop momentarily, when at three in the morning it's impossible to sleep because either your roommate is moaning or the sound of the tapping or nurses shoes finally gets to you and you decide that you'd rather take a bullet for anyone in the world, even your worst enemy, than stay here?"
I shake my head, speechless. That's the most emotional I've ever seen Evan about being in this hospital.
"That I'd rather be at the bottom of the ocean, breathing water into my lungs to die than die because of cancer in a fucking hospital where I was fourteen years ago for child abuse?" Evan's eyes are watering. "It's horrible, Devan. They say they'll treat me like royalty, but in the end they end up treating me like gum on the bottom of their shoe after walking in a mall parking lot, like a swear word coming out of a 4 year olds mouth…like a burnt corner on the best piece of cake you've ever eaten…"
"Like getting AIDS from someone you loved with all your heart," I add softly, then blush as I realize I said it aloud.
"W…What?" Evan whispers back. "You have AIDS?" I nod timidly. "And you never told me?"
I stutter for a few moments before clearing my throat. "When I got it…You had just found out you have cancer…I didn't want to make matters worse…But then Brendan died, and I was going to tell you…but then they announced this…tumor, this abomination, and I didn't want to tell you again,"
It might be helpful to add that this tumor is impossible to get to without killing Evan. He's had it for a few years now, and it's just gotten big enough to cause problems with his life. He was forced to live in the hospital. I think a part of him fades away everyday with his life.
I'm so glad his laugh is still here. Faintly, but it's still here.
Evan closes his eyes and sighs. "We used to be able to tell each other anything. But now it's resorted to waiting until they're so close to death to tell them anything…"
"I'm sorry Evan,"
"I'm sorry, too, Devan," I stand up to hug my best friend.
"I'm sorry that I've neglected you for the past few years since Brendan died and Emily had to move in with me…I'm sorry no one in your family will talk to you because you're gay, and that none of your friends talk to you anymore cuz they're afraid of getting your disease,"
Evan takes a deep breath before replying in a shaky voice, "But I've still got you,"
"I know," I whisper back as tears come to my own eyes.
We're not crying because of what's happening now…We're crying because of the time we lost that could've been spent laughing as we threw eggs at oncoming cars before concerts. Crying over lost loves and drinking over lost jobs. Comforting the other while they were wallowing in self-pity because they feel they're not good enough for anyone.
I'd take a bullet for Evan, and I'm sure he'd do the same for me. But neither of us got the chance. And that's what's sad. Neither of us got the chance. He's going to die before anyone pulls a gun on me. If he doesn't, they'll have to pull the gun on me in the hospital, cuz he won't be getting out anytime soon.
Evan pulls away from me to wipe his eyes.
"I'm going to miss you, you know," he says softly.
"I'm going to miss you, too," I reply, matching his tone. I sit down at the edge of the bed and smooth down the blankets.
"Always being there,"
Another silence follows. Then the intercom announces for Evan's doctor to report to his room, which means I have to leave. I take Evan's hand and give it a squeeze. "The surgery'll go fine. I promise,"
Evan just nods before pulling me down into another hug. "I know…"
"I'm going to go, I'll check back in around five thirty to see how you're doing, alright?" Evan nods again and I find that I'm crying again. "Bye,"
How terribly upsetting the call was from the hospital that Evan had died during surgery.
The tumor on his heart wasn't nearly as harmful as they though. Evan's chest just wasn't big for the 'upgrade' on his heart.
Shame someone with such a big heart had to die so soon.
A/N: I'm not entirely sure how…correct…the thing about his heart tumor is, but I frankly don't care. Fiction: not real. Deal with it. Anyway…hope you enjoyed.