Notes: These are my real journal entries from the past 3 months in treatment centers. It starts the day that I had to go. Author notes will be in brackets throughout the entry to explain things.

11:16 am

Dr. Rothman told me this morning that I have to leave Emory.I can return next year though. But still....I was getting really happy. Mom was fine, but Dad cried. That made me cry harder. I've finally calmed down though. I'm watching Into The Woods to make me feel better.

Right now, Mom, Dad, and I are on our way to Ridgeview for an interview. I'll be going there instead of being at home.

Right after I heard the news, I called Marla one of my best friends. And then I called Alyse my resident adviser, who didn't answer. So then I called Rachel one of my sophomore advisers and told her. She didn't seem all that upset, to be honest. She seems to believe this is for the best. That's what Mom believes. And maybe they're right.

Then, Alyse called back, and I told her what happened. She had no idea. She was really upset and shocked about it.

I'm in shock about it too. I can't believe this is actually happening.

2:45 pm

We're in the car now on the way back to Emory. I'm just going to have a little while to say goodbye to everyone. And then we're going back to Ridgeview, and I'm checking into inpatient for a few days.

3:46 pm

We just left Emory. I didn't cry. The only person there was Maria one of the girls from my hall. I left a note on Amy's my other sophomore adviser desk though.

4:03 pm

Funny that today is the day that I'm getting checked into the hospital since today actually marks my one week of being SI free. And this time last week, I also made the decision to really try and recover.

8:38 pm

Well, I'm at the hospital now. Most of the girls are here for eating disorders. They're really nice though. It has a lot more freedom than Summitridge the hospital I was in for 2 ½ days after my suicide attempt, that's for sure. But Summitridge was a lot prettier and cozier, in my opinion.

And what really sucks is that I have to check my journals out anytime I want to use them. That's the one thing that really bothers me. Anyway, I'm gonna go make some phone calls. I probably won't get to write again tonight, but I'll definitely write tomorrow.

9:46 pm

Ok nevermind, I am writing again tonight.

I called Marla around 9:00. She said that Libby my best friend called her to find out what's going on. I'll call her in a little while.

I also called Mom. She and Dad are still at Means my dorm packing up my stuff. Apparently, Alli and Jen my two closest friends there stopped by to find out what's going on. They said that I have to go visit them soon. I definitely will.

10:21 pm

I just got off the phone with Libby. We talked for awhile. I think things are gonna be okay with us. They really will.