A/N: So, this is just a little something I wrote to still feel like I have some creativity juice left. I will be updating Soul Seekers ASAP. Hope you like a very short-plotted excuse for smut! ::loves it::
Problematic
Things are complicated. A short story for a long life. A sad tale for a good person. Wishes unheard of for a happy ending... or at least a day where trying mattered to someone other than the people you're not trying for. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense? At all???
Sadness surrounds me at the feelings I hold for a great guy very few appreciate. He tries. Really hard. Just for a simple "Thank you." But bad things still happen. It makes me wonder. Will good things happen to him if he stops trying? Or should he just move on? I have to admit something. I have a bit of a crush on him. It doesn't matter to me that he's older than me by seven years. His ex-wife fucked him over pretty hard. Cheated on him and took his home. WTF? She's the one who had the affair. Why does she get everything? Why does the world suck so much sometimes?
He's been my roommate for longer than he's been dating his girlfriend. She dislikes me, by the way. Oh, I get along with her, as long as I don't get too close to Joshua.
Typing his name makes me smile. I'm the only one he lets call him Joshua. It's just Josh or Jay to everyone else.
"Chelsea?" my name being called pauses me as I play World of Warcraft. God, I love his Irish accent.
"Yush?" I say, trying to be cute. I spun my chair and kicked my bare feet up onto my bed. A knock sounds and I laugh. "What?" I call loudly to be heard through the door.
"Are you decent?" Joshua calls back. I look down and grin. Bra and panties.
"Define decent." I called back jokingly.
"Covered. Not naked." he answered exasperated. I thought about it a moment. I only wear my ugly work uniform and I haven't worn anything but baggy clothes the last year and a half. I began to wonder if my body would interest him. I'm not fat... at all. Slim and small. Small breasts and hips that aren't much bigger. His girlfriend on the other hand could be thin in two weeks flat if she tried. But she got, uh, overly comfortable and is bordering on unhealthy. Poor guy hasn't been laid in a while. It's not his fault she shuns all advances and never makes any of her own. "Chelsea?" he calls again. Oops. Forgot to answer him.
"Yeah. I'm covered... ish." I add in a whisper and unconciously brace myself.
"I've been trying to ask you what... you..." His blue eyes widen and he cleared his throat. His eyes fluttered over me quickly and he regained his composure. "What you wanted for dinner." He brushed a shaggy lock of black hair back over his shoulder. Nervous tick.
'Oh-ho-ho-ho! So that's how he's gonna play it. Fine. I'll pretend nothing's different either.' I thought. I stood and noticed he watched my every move. I pretended to think about the question and crawled on my bed to reach for my wallet. "You pick this time, it's your turn to choose and I pay this time. Katie here or at work?" I ask, turning to him as a contented cat might. I inwardly smirked as his adam's apple bobbed hard and fast. I liked this sudden feeling of power.
"She's, uh, visiting her parents this weekend. She won't be back until Monday night." He said, still watching me. A twenty-seven year old man oggling a twenty year old woman. Nope, nothin unusual about that. 'Joshua O'Brien. My little Irish rogue. Let's see if I can boil your blood.'
I jumped up. "Woo-hoo! Par-tee! Par-tee!" I shouted. He laughed and started coughing when I jumped up and down on my bed like a trampoline.
I pretended not to notice him looking heavenward pleadingly. When I turned back to him I grinned. "Screw it." I said. "I have an announcement." I declared. "I got a promotion at work! We're going to a restaurant!"
The announcement took him aback. "Congrats! That's awesome!" I couldn't help it and I dove into his arms. He tensed. "I, uh, you, you should get dressed then." He said, patting my back and bolting out of my room. "Meet you in the living room in ten," he shouted behind him. I snickered and hugged myself.
I surprised myself and changed into one of my favorite clubbing outfits. A black miniskirt, black heels, a soft green blouse, and a black leather half-trench coat. I slapped a bit of eyeshadow and lipstick on and grabbed my keys, deciding I wanted to drive. I groaned at my rediculously long and wavy auburn hair and whipped it up into a sloppy bun; I was already taking longer than I had planned. I wished my eyes were emerald or sparkly or unique, but they're just your average dark green.
When Joshua finally found his voice, the first thing he said was, "You own female clothing?" My eyebrows shot up and I gave him my puppy-dog eyes. "I mean, you look fantastic. I haven't seen you in a dress in five and a half years."
I rolled my eyes. "That's because you met me on my fifteenth birthday at the bowling alley."
"Yeah, and you're puppy-dog eyes got me then, too. I still can't believe that happened to you." He said hugging me. "I managed to see the whole thing." he said quietly.
"I didn't know that. I thought you only heard the last bit when my friends tried to make me choose between them."
"Nope. I was bowling in the lane next to yours and heard your friends bitching the entire time. Then they pulled the 'Who are you gonna stick with?' routine and I saw your eyes fill with tears as all four of them left you by yourself." I stared sadly at his chest remembering how painful that memory still was. "It's a good thing I was there for you." He said trying to make light of the situation.
"Let's not speak of it again." I murmured. I still had the scars on my wrists from that night. They were faint but not gone. Never going to be gone. I wanted them as a reminder of how stupid I was when teen hormones ruled me. I'd never be so stupid again. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to kill myself. Just cut. Just bleed. Just... feel. I was so empty.
The drive to the restaurant was amusingly quiet, so I left the radio off. I couldn't help but crack a small smile every time I heard Joshua swallow. The quiet did give me time to think, though. About the night after I had cut up my wrists. I was surfing the net and came accross a website. It had flash cartoons and webcomics. I was hooked immediately and wanted to learn. Unfortunately, I knew I definitely did not have the propper software for the flash programs so I put it out of my mind. I logged onto AIM (cause I didn't bother with AOHell, just internet explorer) and I added Joshua to my buddies list. We had traded AIM screen names at the bowling alley cause we got to talking and I mentioned something about wanting to upgrade my computer. He said he could get me what I needed really cheap and just to IM him or email him if I needed anything. He wouldn't ask for my address or anything. We could always meet back up at the bowling alley and exchange goods if that made me more comfortable. It did but I just smiled thinking he was just being nice to a young girl who just lost all of her friends. Saying closest friends would have been pushing it.
I saw he was on and debated for twenty minutes whether or not to IM him. Then after another five minutes of deciding what to say, he IM'd me first.
MonsterJoshSquish: Hey there :)
I stared at it for a solid minute before I remembered to reply.
MonsterJoshSquish: Remember me? Joshua from the bowling alley. :)
BelleMorteDieu: Yeah, I remember. :)
BelleMorteDieu: Thank you for being so nice to me. You're friends were nice, too.
MonsterJoshSquish: Aw, shucks, ma'am. Tweren't nuthin.
BelleMorteDieu: lol, no really. It meant a lot to me that I wasn't alone until my mom picked me up.
MonsterJoshSquish: You could have used my cell phone.
BelleMorteDieu: No. Then she would have freaked that I now have no friends and been WAY too overprotective. But thank you.
BelleMorteDieu: Shit happens. I understand that. I now know I don't need or want friends like that. I hung out with some classmates I have a bit more in common with. They're really cool. I nicknamed one of them already and she loves it. heh heh .
MonsterJoshSquish: Good. I'm happy for you. ;) You need better friends than those bitches.
BelleMorteDieu: ...yeah.
MonsterJoshSquish: So... what did you nickname your new friend?
BelleMorteDieu: Well, her name's Catherine, so I started calling her Kitty. I heard somewhere that it's a nickname for Catherine and Kaitlyn.
MonsterJoshSquish: Hah! Cute. :p Do you have a nickname? Or is it just Chelsea? My friends call me Josh or Jay.
BelleMorteDieu: I like Joshua better. o.O lol. Well... the only nickname I ever liked out of the many I've received would have to be Chelsers.
MonsterJoshSquish: That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. What were your other ones ?.?
BelleMorteDieu: ::blushes:: You got an hour?
MonsterJoshSquish: As long as it takes. ;)
I think that was when I started crushing on him. A lot of shit has happened since then. A couple years later I got my first job and Joshua and I had started meeting up occasionally at the bowling alley and often online to chat. When I hit eighteen I joined his bowling league. At eighteen and a half, he offered me a place to stay when my mom kicked me out for not being a virgin. I don't know what the hell she was expecting, but I wasn't about to wait till marriage with my boyfriend feeling me up in all the right places. Teenage hormones strike again! Mwahahaha! Funny thing is, though, my boyfriend and I agreed we hadn't much in common stayed good friends until this day. Kitty and I are best friends and we go clubbing every now and again. Woo-hoo! Only six more months till we can go clubbing at places that serve alcohol. She thinks I should tell Joshua how I feel. I think I'll tell him if he ever breaks up with Katie. In truth, it's entirely up to him. I won't let him cheat on her. At least not wth me. It's not right. But flirting is altogether another matter. A friendly kiss, nothing to balk over.
Okay, okay, enough back-story. On with the driving to the restaurant. It was quiet and I was startled when Joshua cleared his throat. I looked over at him and he was a little red. "Uh, you okay?" I asked, not quite sure why he was blushing. I frowned when he shook his head.
"I'm alright. Frog in my throat, I guess." I raised an eyebrow and looked straight ahead. I then realized I had been gripping my gear-shift and trailing my hand up and down it. He must've been watching that. Oops, heh heh. That's when I noticed we were about to miss the off-ramp. Joshua noticed me glancing over, then ahead, over, then ahead. "You wouldn't even-" he started.
"Quick decision!" I called and cut across three lanes to get to it in time. Thankfully the road was damn near empty. Damn female drivers. Heh heh heh.
I don't really feel like going through another few paragraphs of eating merriment, but I will, however, say this: I got him to dance with me! Yeah, baby, yeah! He's a pretty good dancer, too. I had no idea he knew how to salsa!
When we got home, I was in pain but pleased as punch... whatever the hell that means. I sat down on the couch and kicked my heels off. "Not that I didn't have an absolute blast, but my dogs are barkin'." I muttered, bringing one foot towards myself to rub. Joshua smiled, sat down across from me, took my foot from me, and began to rub. My head fell back and my thighs twitched. Sheer comfort coursed through my body and I sighed in pleasure. "My hero." I sighed. He chuckled and that soft deep sound, more than anything, brought goosebumps to attention though I fell asleep soon thereafter.
I woke up as his arms came around me, lifting.
"Joshua?" I whispered.
"Shh, darlin'. Go back to sleep. I'm just putting you into bed." he said quietly.
"Oh, okay." I said, resting my head comfortably on his shoulder. When he set me down on my bed, I was closing in on sleep again. I nipped his neck, thinking I was dreaming.
He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "You're going the right way for a spanking." he muttered.
"I should be so lucky." I murmured in reply to my dream. "She doesn't deserve you." I whispered and sank into the blissful black oblivion known as a dead sleep.
I woke up a few hours later and peeled all of my clothes off, drank a cup of water, used the bathroom, and went back to sleep.
In the morning, I pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and a cute matching top with one of those built in bras so I could walk into the kitchen and grab some juice. "Apple or orange? Isn't that the sixty-four thousand dollar question?" I queried aloud bending over into the fridge to decide what I wanted.
"You are so not allowed to watch that pyramid game show anymore." I heard Joshua say from behind me. I yelped, jumped back, and wound up, truly accidentally (though I can't say I wouldn't have done it if I had thought of it), pushing my rear to his front, if you know what I mean. What I felt, oh man what I felt, was a good, good morning to me!
"Morning, Wood, I mean, Joshua." I said and snickered.
"Hey, most men have that problem." he announced, clearly unashamed of something he was surely used to.
"Helluva bulge." I muttered under my breath, wishing... just... wishing.
"What was that?" He asked, squinting down at me.
"Nothing short of a compliment." I said, giving a meaningful glance down at his manhood and grinning. Now he started to turn red. "Sticks out like a, well, like an erection in sweatpants, as the saying goes." I said and as I walked past him with my orange juice, I gently passed the back of my wrist over him. He actually moaned. I looked at him, clearly surprised. "She hasn't put out yet, has she?" I asked, completely confused as to why the hell his woman hasn't screwed him every chance she got.
"Fuck no." he muttered, completely frustrated. I set my juice down, walked over to him, and hugged him to me. "What's so wrong with me that she doesn't want me?" he whispered. I felt myself growing angrier and angrier. That bitch damn near shattered his self esteem.
"There's nothing wrong with you, love. She just has no brain, and I think she ripped out her own sex-drive. Face it, honey, she's broken and she's not worth fixing. She nit-picks at everything you do, everything I do, she would freak if she saw me hugging you, she is completely terrified of change and... and... she steals old ladies souls out the tops of their heads!" I blurted. He started to snicker and then burst out full on laughing.
"What would I do without you?" he said quietly, squeezing me tighter to him.
"Train monkies in karate." I said, matter-of-fact. He laughed again and looked down at me.
"You are not allowed to watch Grandma's Boy again along with the gameshows." He stated in all seriousness and then grinned down at me.
I looked into his eyes and asked a very serious question. "Do you know how I feel about you?" There. I had said it. It couldn't be taken back.
"I thought I did a few days ago. I thought I was so very sure." he answered honestly, his arms tightening evermore around me. I loved the way his R's rolled on his tongue.
"I love you, Joshua. Very much." his eyes widened exponentially. "It kills me to watch you with her, but when she made you happy, I could bear it. I could handle her touching you, kissing you, and doing all the things with you I wished I could do. Now, it's not so easy. I want to tear out her eyes for ever giving you a dirty look. I want to slap her mouth shut whenever a condescending word comes out of it. I want to rip her heart out and show her how heartless she truly is. But right now, I want to make love to you and show how wonderful, sexy, sweet, and perfect I think you are."
I pushed him roughly against the cupboard and sealed my mouth to his. To hell with cheating. I revelled in the sheer force of my feelings for him and tried to express as much of them as I could in that one kiss. He gasped and held me closer when I made to pull away. I moaned low and deep when his tongue rubbed against mine. He turned us and lifted me onto the counter, grinding our hips together causing me to cry out. His hands caressed my breasts over my pj top, and I moaned again, rubbing up against him like a kitten in heat.
I heard the front door begin to be unlocked. I pushed him away roughly and the look in his eyes nearly made me cry. He thought I didn't want him. "Not that I want to stop," I said hurriedly, "but I think Katie's unlocking the door." I smiled at his curse. "I know, good thing I noticed. Get your ass into a cold shower and I'll detain her as long as I can." Before he bolted out, I grabbed him and kissed him again. "I love you, Joshua. I really do." I whispered hurriedly. "Think of me." I added caressing his erection again. He whimpered and took off to the bathroom, not making a sound. His head peeked around the corner and I looked at him with an exasperated smile.
"I love you, too, Chelsers." he said quickly, looking me in the eye and then he disappeared again.
Later that day, I stuck my ear as close to my door as possible while I listened to Katie's weeping and Joshua explaining his need to either be with someone who reciprocates his feelings or alone. She was alright until he said that she could still have the room until she found some other place to stay and that I had so graciously offered him a place in my room on my futon couch-bed-thingy. She started throwing a fit and then calmed down. It was kind of scary because I couldn't see or hear everything that was going on.
The knock on my door scared the bahjeezus outta me and I jumped all the way onto my bed. "C-come in." I stuttered. It was Joshua and I sighed in relief. He held an overnight bag and put it down on the futon couch. "How'd she take it?" I asked even though we both know I had eavesdropped.
"She's moving back in with her parents until she can find another place. She'll be gone by or before the end of the week." I nodded solemnly.
"You know as soon as she's gone I'm tearing your clothes off and fucking your brains out, right?" He started to choke on the gum he was chewing by habit. "Yeah, I get that reaction a lot." I said. He laughed when he was breathing okay again. He took a deep breath and let it out shakily.
"So, you think I'm not a lost cause?" he asked jokngly, though I could see the fear and hope in his gorgeous gaelic eyes.
"Oh, you're a lost cause, alright. But you're my lost cause. And we'll have loads of fun finding our way back." I said softly and toppled him onto the bed with me where I held him and stroked his hair.
The night finally came when the apartment was completely silent except for the surrounding parties cause it was the weekend, meaning the bitch had taken her sweet-ass time in leaving. I flipped on the stereo and let a random cd play. Turned out to be My Chemical Romance. Not quite what I had had in mind but the explosive emotions meshed well with the turmoil in the music, so I suppose it kind of did fit. To my surprise and utter delight, Joshua took charge almost immediately; innitiating with a gentle, probing kiss, and when I responded so eagerly he groaned and, shall we say, picked up the pace. It was a passionate exchange and one long in coming.
"I love you. Oh, God, I love you." he moaned as I trailed sloppy wet kisses down his neck and bit gently.
"I love you, too." I whispered in his ear, breathing warmly into it. I trailed my tongue around and then inside his ear and he quite literally growled my name. He tore my clothes off and I tugged at his until we stood before each other naked as the day we were born. He lowered himself to his knees and licked from my lower inner thigh all the way to my clit and practically devoured me. "Oh, my God!" I cried out. I'd never felt anything so intense in my entire life. My legs gave out and he held me up against the wall until he'd had his fill. I moaned and cried out so many times I lost count. Finally, at my third orgasm he let me have rest and laid me down onto my bed. I breathed hard and deep and pushed him onto his back, trailing my tongue down his body giving him a release he wouldn't soon, if ever, forget.
My mouth slowly enveloped him and he gasped out words I didn't quite hear. I caressed and stroked his testicles and suckled him strongly, going ever faster. I worked him with both hands and my mouth until, his entire body trembling, one hand grasping at my breasts, the other at the sheets, he came forcefully into my mouth. I swallowed everything, not daring to lose a drop. He lay gasping for breath for only a moment before flipping me, pinning me down onto the matress, and rubbing the tip of his already rock hard (again) erection to my entrance.
I raised my ass, again like a kitten in heat, trying to force him in. He held me down and continued rubbing, biting down on my shoulder. Finally, after minutes of begging, he raised my hips and slowly, so very slowly, dipped inside me. I couldn't take it and slammed my hips back into him. We both cried out in satisfaction. "More." I begged between clenched teeth. "Give me more. Please!" I tightened my inner walls around him. "Now is not the time to be gentle. We'll try that later. Right now I need you to take me. Fuck me, please!" I whimpered loudly. He moaned as I spoke to him. With every few words I said, I slammed my hips back onto him. He finally took control and, grabbing my hips, began pounding into me. I screamed my pleasure to the bedroom and lost count of the orgasms we had. I just know that the next day I was limber as all hell.
A/N: So how was that for pointless dreamy smut? I'm lovin' it! Hope you enjoyed and if not, oh wells. Try another story from someone else! Muahahahaha!!!!