Time slows down
To a steady drip

Thudding, splashing numbingly
Down upon my weary mind
A city of thought shrouded
In the dreary haze of remorse
It patters on my window panes

While peddlers of lies stroll the alleys of my mind
I try to fend off their infected words feebly
But they cling like shit stuck to your shoe
Unthinkingly possessed by their mission
To tell me my fortune, to tempt luck or fate
To tell me what a real man looks like

So I run

Footsteps thudding, splashing
Away from the empty brightness and hollow words
Towards the dark and quiet places left deep inside
Where the city is dark and old and crumbling
Places where cold sorrow pools in puddles
And silence rests heavy upon your shoulders

This is where I go to mourn

Running my hands over familiar walls
Tracing weathered steps with bigger feet now
Places worn smooth with time and fading memory
Here where pain was once just a stubbed toe
And girls were still cloaked in mystery and taboo

This is when I realize

A child's laughter is so light and beautiful
Because it is undiluted, untainted, and pure
The laughter of a soul yet untouched
By sadness, by loss, by heartache

I know that I will have to return

But for now I will walk quietly
Retracing old steps
Retracing old memories
Retracing old fantasies
Hoping one day
To visit them again


That I, too, will become mere memory
Visited less and less
Mourned in silence
Until memory fades away
Into the dark, forgotten places
Of a time-wearied mind

10:30 pm