I wrote this when I about the times that I felt a little confused about life… I had a million different emotions at once—This is as close as I can come to describing how I felt. Not what I would call angst-y, but more like a sad, mournful poem.
Do you ever feel the urge to scream so loud
It's silent?
Your voice breaks,
Shatters,
Like a smashed mirror
Strewn upon the cold tile floor
Broken into a million pieces
The shards the size of a grain
Of sand
A puzzle with a piece missing
Your throat torn and raw
From shouting to no one
Your limbs quake
Aching to rip and tear
Yet you have no strength
And no control?
Your eyes are suddenly red
And wet
A mixture of anger
And infinite, abundant sadness
Rolling down your cheek
And buzzing in your ear
Is that annoying fly called "hate"
You swat at it to make it go away
Still it returns,
Larger and more eminent than before
You try to hide inside
Your protective outer shell
Worn down with such use
That now it is oh so fragile
Is this how the world views you?
Why do they laugh?
Do they enjoy your feeling of helplessness?
Knowing you have no control
Of your own life, yet they do?
Do they revel in it?
Feeding on it like some leech?
Or do they know not the emotions
They cause to clash inside you?
Do they even care…?
And you feel empty:
Seen, but not heard
Heard, but not listened to
Listened to, but not acknowledged.
And you wonder
Why you are so alone
Then you realize
Only you can control your soul