Strangers

Doesn't it amaze you how some completely strange people, persons you have never seen before in your life, how these people get your attention in a matter of seconds without even wanting all that attention from you? I guess you can answer that only if it had happened to you… it's hard to describe feelings and emotions, sometimes even thoughts, but I will do my best as I wish to share this little story with you.

It happened to me yesterday while I was coming home from a theatre play (which I like very much, by the way) and I was in the bus as my sight was captured by this young girl who was sitting in the seat in front of me, in the bus that was taking me home. I think she was about 14 years old; her face was round and pale, her eyes were greenish blue and she had rather long brown hair. She looked pretty in my eyes, but not that kind of beauty that you see displayed in the fashion magazines, I'm talking about that simple natural beauty, nothing extravagant, nothing special, just… plain beauty (as if beauty could ever be plain?). As I was staring at her the name Emma came to mind; I thought it would suite her perfectly (don't ask why tough for I've been asking myself that and came up with no answer at all… it just… fit).

The wind was blowing cold; it was a typical winter night, but thank God for bus heating systems! I took a moment and looked around in the bus, to see… things. I like to consider myself as an observer; I like to see things that other people pass by, things that usually remain unnoticed. It's rather tempting to "spy" on people, but I'm not talking about that rude spying, I'm thinking of the kind of spying that brings your mind to thought, that helps you understand things better or, sometimes, that raises more questions in your mind. In either case I think it's a good thing. It is said that people are unhappy if they don't keep their brain busy, so I try to keep my neurons "jogging".

Everybody looked buried within thoughts, worries and stuff of such kind… and so did our (or is that "my"?) Emma. From the moment I laid eyes on her I noticed that a veil of sadness and insecurity was wrapped around her ashen face. I was immediately curious of hearing her story, of knowing the reasons that caused her unhappiness. Is that normal? I mean, she is a complete stranger, yet she was the center of my attention until I got off the bus and was heading home (tough I couldn't stop thinking about her on the way and later at night either, strange isn't it?).

I remember she would sometimes stop staring at the floor and start staring out the window… she was frowning with worries. Such a pretty face… a victim to demoralization; life's not fair, is it? Then again, would it still be interesting if it was one hundred percent fair? Probably not. We do need things to keep the adrenaline pumping up in our veins, don't we?

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering "What did Emma think when she saw that I was staring at her all the time?" Sometimes our eyes would meet and I could see a crying out for help, a cry that was mute to the deaf ears of the other people around us, even to her mother (I assumed it was her mother, since she was sitting in the seat beside her and had that motherly look, but then again I might be wrong; I'll stick to the mother idea tough). As I was saying, her mother was also looking a bit down… "Maybe she failed some class in school", I thought. No matter what happened it was obviously troubling the both of them and in a weird way… it started troubling me as well. It's hard to be curious isn't it? Or am I mistaking curiosity for caring? In either case, I still wish that there was something I could do to cheer her up, even if it was just for a tiny bit, it's just that I really wanted to see her smile, because I'm sure it would have been a very beautiful one. All happy people are beautiful, aren't they? It's as if happiness burns within them like the flame of a lit candle that spreads the darkness lurked into an isolated room.

As people got in and out of the bus, I saw Emma looking at them. It was as if she was keeping count of who got in and who got off, some sort of a false occupation for her mind, something she needed to help clear her head. Emma would sometimes frown while staring empty and sometimes she seemed a little "released" from her torturing thoughts. How do I know they were "torturing thoughts" you might ask. The answer is simple. Any thoughts that keep us from being happy are considered torturing, are they not?

One more station and I'm off. That means I was about five to ten minutes away from a cozy bed and a delicious cup of hot chocolate (and from a good book if I'm lucky). But this is what I'm realizing now; back then I could only think about this girl…My dear Emma, what troubles you? If I could only read your mind… but say I could and I'd find out the reasons for your sadness, would I have the power of tearing that veil off your face? Or would I only do more harm by tightening the veil even more leading to asphyxiation… one can never know, but is obligated not to give up nor fear of trying to help. Sometimes, or most of the time (it depends on the person, I guess), helping someone can help light the flame of happiness in your own heart as well. Good deeds always get rewarded one way or another.

And here's my stop. When I got off my seat I looked away from her, but in a way that would aloud me to notice her reaction. I must admit that for a moment, it seemed as if she was sorry I had to leave so soon. "Nonsense" I said to myself; we are just two strangers, each of us following their course and completing their never-ending routine…Her eyes followed me as I got off the bus and was heading home. Our eyes met yet again and a strange thought came to mind… well, not thought, but more like a weird feeling… the feeling that once I go on this bus I was standing in front of a complete stranger and now it felt as if I was saying good-bye to an old friend…

It's strange how life manages to surprise us by the minute. It's strange how mysterious it is and it's sad that we're not able to spend more time looking after each other… I try to take some time off the daily routine and mediocre things I do everyday and I try to use that time to reflect upon things, upon myself… and use it to see. What purpose do our eyes hold if we're blind when it comes to seeing when people need our help? What good are our ears if we are deaf to cries of help? What good is our mouth if we only use to eat and drink, instead of using it to give advice to those who need it and say a good word to those who look like they need encouragement?

We are all surrounded by strangers, but if you can't remember a face, it doesn't necessarily mean you never saw it, but it could mean you never took the time to notice it. I noticed Emma when she seemed to need to be noticed, to be seen in her grief…and maybe… just maybe, my prays will help her get over whatever it was troubling her. You can never know until you try… can you?