A/N: Heh, this is a stupid, random and crazy little thing that I've written. It will eventually become a story filled with plotless crazy things, but for now, it's this. :D Well, technically, it is filled with World Domination Plans and among other things. Noo…it will be filled with World Domination Plans and among other things. :D
World Domination Plan #1
The Dream Of A Cable Guy
"You know what I feel like doing today?'
"I don't care, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway. So why resist?"
"You're exactly right! Anyhoot, I feel like beginning my world domination plan!"
"I have a feeling I'm going to be your evil minion that has to break the law so you'll be so innocent, and then you'll end up killing me in the end?"
"Yeah, but that's a little secret that we'll keep between us, Cable Guy to Cable Guy?"
"Whatever. You'll end up frolicking with T.C.L.O.F.P.S.H. after lunch starts, then you'll forget all about it and go on with your life, admiring your hairy bellybutton."
"Yeah, THE CRAZY LOONS ON FLYING PLASTIC SEA HORSES. You usually go play cards with them every night."
"Oh. Anyhoot! First, I'm going to get my evil minion, which would be you, to go rob WalMart of every television they have. Then I'll take the televisions and place them conveniently place them throughout the forests of the world."
"Seems like you told me this yesterday."
"No, no I haven't. Then, I'll sneak into the—"
"Bob, you're on fire."
"Yes, I know. Thank you for the compliment. Please don't interrupt me again."
"No, really, you're on fire."
"Well, I suppose I am. I was wondering why by butt was feeling a bit toasty. Well, I'll continue to tell you about my plan as I dance the Cotton-Eye-Joe in hopes to extinguish the increasingly hot and painful flames."
"Anyhoot, I'll sneak into the control room of the Cable Company and dispatch a world wide signal. Every channel will have the same thing. One of those black and white swirly thingies that make you go 'Oooh! Aaah!' You know, that thing you make me stare at every day? And then all of the little woodland and fury creatures will be under my control."
"You know, Bob, you now have third degree burns on your buttox. Maybe you should ask the Flying Purple People Eaters to help."
"Nonsense! My dancing is helping! The pain is gone!"
"Really? That's hard to believe."
"Yeah, I can't feel my butt, or my legs! Isn't that great? At least I still have my bellybutton in tact!"
"Anyhoot! The little woodland creatures will be hypnotized and I'll be in complete control. And with my animal arsenal, I'll invade all of those little third-world Asian and African countries. Then I'll combine all of those countries and take on the United Kingdoms, and Russia! Then, once I have Russia, I'll invade the U.S., kill my minion, which is you George, finally give the Flying Purple People Eaters the recognition they deserve, and have a little 'chat' with the people who put me in this insane asylum. Won't that be dandy?"
"It sure will be, Bob."
"Well, Mr. Bob, I do believe you've had enough planning today. Let me tighten the leather straps on your jacket, and double check the locks in your bouncy yellow room, and I'll let you have some alone time."
"Thanks, Dr. George. You're a real pal. Too bad I'll have to kill you once I take over Earth. It was real nice knowing you though. Anyway, if you're a Cable Guy, why does everyone call you Doctor?"
"I don't know Bob."
"You know, some mornings, it just doesn't seem worth gnawing through the leather straps."
"Yeah, that's why you're in chains too, that way you'll be more motivated to stay fastened together."
"Isn't life so good to me?"