I wrote this back in my junior year, but I still find it amusing. It's supposed to be sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"

Oh Stalker Boy, oh Stalker Boy!

Why can't you take the hint?

Oh Stalker Boy, oh Stalker Boy!

Your head is full of lint!

Why do you keep

Following me!!??!!

Why can't you see

You're like a flea?

Oh Stalker Boy, oh Stalker Boy!

Please leave me alone!!!

You follow me

All through the halls

I'm only safe

While in the stalls

Oh Stalker Boy, oh Stalker Boy

Please just take the hint!!!