Loneliness & Learning

By Calibur Kiss: Originally written March 2005, Edited February 2006


Learning is Awakening

Making manifest the unclear

Rubbing your eyes

Stretching out your arms

Breathing in fresh, crisp air.

It is smelling the dew that grins in dawn's glow

It is watching the sunrise, pinking the sky so slow,

It is experiencing a feeling that goes

B e y o n d--the senses.

Rewarding, refreshing, invigorating

It is like Shakespeare at the Globe

Or Einstein in his study.

It is incomparable to any thrill or bliss, sorrow or rage…

Until you feel the fickle frustration of confusion

Gnawing at you because you are a fool.

You pour your energy into this enigma,

Attempting to comprehend.

Then dawn rises and you Awaken again!

You understand.

All that jazz suddenly comes together

Rich saxophones singing sweetly from your soul,

Their sounds intertwining in a perfect weave of harmony.

The books and logic click

Optimism

You can soar.

Crash!

Suddenly all the "yeahs" and "wazzups" and "stupids"

They don't make s-e-n-s-e

The hip-hop cookie cutters are conformists

The confident, the proud, the brave—

They are silly as hooting owls,

Nothing but hooting and blinking with glazed eyes.

You want to show them, FORCE them

To open those glued shut eyes.

You look inside their heads and find

Empty ghost towns inside.

Smart girl doesn't fit in.

Smart girl will never get along.

Stupid smart girl. She's such a dumb 4.0.

She thinks she is so clever with her books and her grades

Her logic, her practicalities, her philosophies, her ideologies

But what does she really have in life?

Carpe diem: That's what the books cry.

The books and their pages filled with wisdom

Withered bindings and leather covers hiding

Secret sources of sagacity.

I've been Awakened and it certainly is

Lonely.