bleed, angel, bleed

is there room in the heavens for (another) s h a t t e r e d
& (un-)beautiful angel who is trying to fly
with t o r n, b r o k e n, and bloody wings?
because we all dream (hope & wish) for something
(anything) better and when death becomes the only option,
it is beautiful. and that is how i see it through burning acid tears
and after all the hurt she put me through – it was enough to make me
bleed (and become b r o k e n). she spoke all her (hollow) lies
and (empty) promises and now, i only hear (deadly) silence because
she's too afraid to speak to me (a bloody friend with even
worst thoughts ((of suicide)) who is ((literally)) dying to hear the apologies).
and oh, she must think it's hard to say because after months,
she has yet to say one thing to me (as if the silence is the best option
for a girl who is screaming everything out even though no one is listening).
the repetition of the thoughts and questions ring evident in my ears
as if reminding me that these are the reasons i bleed (not like i could forget
in the first place even though i'm trying so hard to). but is this what
i deserve for trying to be the best friend i (she) wanted (me) to be?
because the heavens deserve such a better angel.

January 31, 2006