Once again

The time has come

For the past to leave

And bury its pain alive

And though my future

Maybe promising

I dread the darkness

And the uncertainty

My father fights

My mother cries

I used to love them

Where did I go wrong?

My sister is dead

In so many ways

Although she's breathing

Her soul and more is gone

I lie at night

Trembling quietly

Hearing the voices

Hearing all those fights

The times my mother

Used to be

The bravest of all

What can I do now?

Should I blame myself?

For the things I caused

Maybe it's my fault

Who honestly can tell?

I hear them fighting

Every single day

My sister and my father

My mother and herself

Is this my fault?

All the things we've done

Why can't we be happy?

Why can't we stay the same?

I screwed up my senior year

And broke my mother's heart

Am I to blame?

Was I the seed that was planted?

Why can I do?

To make everything alright

Move to Chicago

Or strike oil in the backyard

Everyday I look at them

My sister drinking, getting arrested

Hiding secrets,

And picking fights with Dad

I wish could make us

All happy again

But it wouldn't last

It never really does

My mother would still be

Upset with herself

She hold everything back

And in the end it nearlykilled her

My father would still be

A lunatic

He would scream and shout

And push us all away

And my sister would still be

Clueless, and reckless

She'd up end in prison

And not ever learn one thing

But who I am

To preach self-respect?

I caused all of this

By just being out-of-control

I still want my family

To be happy again

I want us to talk

And I want all of us to laugh

However, I've got

A bad feeling

That everything is different

And they'll never be the same