I feel like I'm losing you all over again.

But did I even have you to begin with?

Every time you offer your hand

I want to hold on forever

Because I fear you really don't love me.

That maybe I'm willing you to so hard,

I can't see past these rose-colored glasses

Your perfection has placed in front of my eyes.

When will I give up hoping

And see this world for what it is?

A nightmare.

And you, my angel, are only a demon,

Or worse yet,

A dream amongst the reality I forgot to notice

In your presence.

Please let me wake up unknowing,

Where you have never even existed at all.

But of course, that is not what I would want.

I'd choose to watch your flawless pallor

Until I fail to breathe this imaginary air,

Whether you realize I have been waiting


Or not.