"THIS WILL NOT TAKE ME!!!!" I begin screaming in the middle of heavy breaths and writhing in pain on the hardwood floor of my cabin.

No one's voice answers me.

Good, I would not want anyone here to answer me, it would put them in danger.

It's too late now, though, they are safe, I came out here to die so my friends would be safe…no, I came out here to protect my friends, and everyone else who met me for that matter, it just meant that I had to die to do it. I would rather die than hurt them, and more importantly I would rather die than disobey God and be cursed…even if it meant longer life and supernatural powers. But they are powers of darkness…and I certainly would rather die than accept them.

But this pain…"uuuuunnnnghrrrrrrrr"…another shot of merciless, pulsing torture hits me and I feel as if my stomach is going to come up through my chest any second now. I can't even scream this time. All I can do is lie here on the floor in a fetal position and clench my teeth…my teeth, it wasn't enough to pull them from their place in my jaw…it wasn't enough to gnaw constantly on a hard rock to keep breaking them off...but it did help concentrate the pain in my mouth and away from the rest of my body. They would always grow back in a matter of hours…accursed fangs. The pain is worth keeping my soul, I have to keep reminding myself…my soul is worth more than this body full of anguish…if going through a hell here on earth means being with the Father for the rest of eternity I am willing to go through with…"grrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This time I nearly go into a seizure. I don't know how my body still has enough energy left for that amount of self-torment…or why it bothers…"why can I not just die already!?" God take my life, I plead as I lay still again…my mind swirling so fast I can barely think…I can barely even breathe.

I to no longer have any ability to move beyond my screaming lungs and uncontrollable shaking…I am too far away from anyone to bring them harm. I hope no one hears me and comes to help…

I rasp out the words to myself, "You shall eat…no manner of…blood…You shall eat no…manner…of blood….You shall eat no manner…of...blood….You shall eat no……blood…eat…no blood…….," and then soothingly I feel myself fading…finally, I'm going home.

My consciousness stirs and brings into focus a light that fades in but there is also a shadowlike figure above me. I try to move…wondering where I am, heaven? hell? The pain is still there…subsided but still there pulsing with my heart. My heart? Then I feel soft cloth under me…I'm in a bed


"James? Can you hear me?"

No…"Why are you...here, Carrie?" I sputter out, "I told you to stay away from me, I might lose control and hurt you." I can't trust myself anymore and she shouldn't either

"I couldn't stay away. Your brother told me you were in the hospital. You were found in that cabin nearly dead. I had to see you before you really went…I kn-"

"Listen Carrie, you can't be here you will get hurt."

"I had to see you before-"

"I'm a vampire!" I rasp as loud a whisper as I can get out.

"Stop! Don't say that! I don't care. I know you wouldn't hurt me…you resisted before."

"You have no idea what hell I went through in that cabin though…I would have." Then I realize to my relief that I am still far too weak to move. The hospital could do nothing for me. They could inject all the blood they wanted but my system would reject it…it would have had to been ingested to give me strength. I will still die.

"I love you James." A tear runs down her face, but it was only the start.

"I love you…" Are tears running down my face as I imagine they are in my mind? It had to be the grace of God to give me this. The pain of starving myself is gone, I am too weak to be able to get up or even think about trying to drink from anyone, and I can die next to the love of my life. If only…

"I…only wish we could have gotten married before this happened." I choke.

More tears come to her eyes…and she begins sobbing as she lays her head on my abdomen. Human contact, her contact…something I have missed for weeks. Though I can't even move my hand to rest on her head, I thank God for her as a comforter.

She's not even afraid of me, she never was.

I remember how when I first told her why I was avoiding her she did not even freak out. She did cry but, she showed no fear of me…she even kissed me. I was amazed that this woman would get that close to the mouth of a vampire…and I then knew how much she truly loved me. Now I sit in this rollaway bed with her next to me. This is my death bed, I think, and she is still beside me. The only sound is her crying and the beeping of my heart monitor…which even as I listen I can hear slowing…

Once again I feel the peaceful fading…I recite the verses again in their entirety before I let out my final breath, "You shall eat no manner of blood, whether it be of fowl or beast, in any of your dwellings. Whatsoever soul it be that eateth any manner of blood, even that soul shall be cut off from his people…"


I am drawn back for a moment…my mind concentrating on Carrie fully, all I see now is her, the rest is darkened out, but she also seems to be shining…like an aura surrounding her, a silvery glow around her body, accentuating her beauty. I think I actually feel myself smiling.

"No, Carrie, it's in…Leviticus."

She smiles and moves closer to me, again unfearing, and kisses me. I do my best to return it, and I also now have no fear of harming her. This kiss is my last breath…