We were just a bunch of kids, dying to live like the song. Believing anything that could bring us that much closer to a lyric or story line. We were always just kids, hurting each other and breaking ourselves out of boredom. I shared my life and every truth I could possible imagine with you.
I said I lied, I always say I lie. A personal image id die to maintain, I killed us for my ego…a boost of confidence. Just so I could be a liar, just so I could be an ass, just so I could brag about breaking the one thing I had.
But it was so much more than that, we both know its not that easy. I did it to fit in to those songs, so I could be alone dieing for someone to come find me. Dieing for someone to do everything you did, to be everything you were.
Not only could I not live that, but I ended up with so much worse. I ended up with the same deal but worse. Someone who didn't, couldn't love me like you did, because face it…we both know that no one could love like you. You found someone, something, I was so replaceable. You cant be replaced.
Something special, something needed.
I feel like a liar every time I tell anyone they mean anything to me now.
I feel like a liar every time I think I'm happy.
And I know I'm a lair each time I say I am, because really I'm not. I'm just helpless and lost, fighting to fit into that one song, that one story line.