Chapter 4: "Going on your honeymoon?"
"AH!" I jumped back and quickly averted my eyes. "Oh man I am so sorry! Oh gosh. I think- I'm gonna go back out there now…"
Did you see those abs? I saw those abs. And we won't even get into what else I saw. My god.
I took a deep breath. I had just walked into my bathroom to find James, and not just any James: a naked James. Lemme tell ya, I would gladly go back in to see more.
I went to the store. Just so you know. We got back to my apartment and I realized I had nothing to eat and I couldn't starve my guest, so I went to the store. And I told James he could do whatever he wanted while I was gone. I guess he wanted to take a shower. I don't know why I didn't think anything of it when I didn't notice him anywhere before I walked into my bathroom in search of a hairbrush. I probably should start thinking before I act. Then again, I wouldn't have seen that marvelous sight if I had thought.
I sighed and continued to picture the new love of my life as I put away the crap I had bought. Soda in the fridge, chips in the cupboard, frozen pizza and ice cream in the freezer, tampons in the- no wait. Let's not go in the bathroom again.
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find James, now clad in an undershirt and boxers. What is he trying to do to me? Geez. My eyes lingered on a certain…area…
"Ollie, are you ogling me?" He had a sly grin on his face.
Oh lord yes. "No! I was not ogling you!" I rolled my eyes and tried to play it off, but a heavy blush was creeping up my neck.
"It's okay. I know I'm irresistible."
"Psh. I've seen way better."
"Have you really?" He took a step closer.
"Yes." I stuck up my chin defiantly, stepping backwards. I crashed into the sink.
He took another step closer. "I find that hard to believe." Another step.
Wow. He has really nice eyes. They are so…blue. Man, I'm so poetic it's hard to take sometimes.
"I-You-I," Way to go Ollie.
"Ollie…" He was so close.
The phone rang.
"I should get that…" I moved to answer it.
He grabbed my arm. "Let the machine."
"But-" He looked deep into my eyes. "Okay..."
The machine picked up. "Hey, it's Ollie. I'm not answering the phone for some reason or another. Leave me a message and maybe I'll get back to you." It beeped. "Ollie! It's Reesa." She giggled. Guess what! Andy and I…are eloping!" At this point I lunged for the phone, but seeing as I was trapped behind boxer boy, I just ended up tripping over him and landing with the receiver just out of my reach. "Ah it's so exciting! And we want you to meet us at the airportto come be our witness! Please do it. Meet us at Gate 6A at 11 tomorrow morning. 'Kay? Oh yeah JFK. The destination is a surprise. Bye!" She giggled again.
I tried calling back, but no one answered.
"What is wrong with her! She's known him what? Two days?"
James gave me an incredulous look.
"Alright alright, five months. But still!" I was pacing around my miniscule kitchen, practically ripping my hair out. "Now what do I do?" I yelled at myself.
"I think you should go."
I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. "I have a job you know. I can't just pick up and leave whenever I feel like it."
"But you own the place. Close it a few days." As if it's that easy.
"Maybe I could let Meg take over for the weekend…Lord knows she'll need the money once summer's over…" What? I really need to start talking to my mouth about listening to my brain.
"Exactly. And it'll probably be fun. Think of it as an adventure."
This guy is completely out of his mind. Then again…I haven't been on a vacation in such a long time…
"You're coming with me."
"Yeah, and don't you dare refuse Mr. Adventure. It's your fault we're in this mess anyway."
"If it wasn't for you and your eyes, and your boxers, and your nakedness, I would have been able to answer the phone and talk Reesa out of this." I wagged my finger in his face accusingly.
He smirked. "So you did like what you saw."
"I never said that! And so what? Maybe you are the most gorgeous male specimen to ever grace the earth. That means nothing to me."
He chuckled. I'm not sure what was funny about that, but okay. "Okay I'll come."
"Nope. Now get some sleep, we are going to have a long day tomorrow." He walked over the pullout couch I had set up for him.
And that's how we wound up going to Paris for the not-so secret wedding of Reesa and Andy.
She had thought it all through. My ticket was waiting for me at the gate, and it wasn't too hard to get James one as well. Reesa was already on the plane so I couldn't talk her out of going. She's a sneaky one.
I walked down the aisle looking for my seat. 20…21…22…23…Ahah. 24B. There was a little old lady sitting in 24A and the person in seat C was already asleep. I decided to try my luck with the old one.
"Excuse me, Miss, but I was really hoping you could switch seats with my friend here because we would really like to sit together and I'm not very fond of planes and I would feel so much better if I could sit with someone I know and…yeah. Please?" I gave her what a really hoped was a cute innocent look.
I guess she bought it, "Of course! You two are so cute together. Going on your honeymoon?"
I blushed for some unknown reason. "No, we are just friends."
She gave me a knowing look. "That's what they all say, dear."
We settled into our seats, me sitting by the aisle. I spotted Reesa and Andy a few rows back. I waved. She saw me and squealed. Yes, like a pig. Strange I know. She noticed James and winked. Geez, what is with people today?
Oh. Did I mention we are going to Paris? Well I guess I gave it away before…But really, does it get any more random than that. I pointed out to Reesa that you need a lot of paper work to get married in another country. She said she knew and had taken care of everything. I doubt it.
After about an hour, the in-flight movie came on. I started to watch it, but I can only watch a documentary on penguins for so long before I am bored out of my mind. I tried shifting in my seat to get comfortable. I sighed. I hate planes, not because I'm scared, but because I just don't enjoy being confined to a cramped seat for however many hours with a bunch of people I don't know or like.
The stewardess was approaching with a food tray. Joy. Nothing is better than some nice airplane food. I hope you picked up on the sarcasm there.
The woman looked extremely bored, and extremely trampy. Her skirt was so short I could practically see her behind. Okay, I may be exaggerating just a teeny tiny bit… But she really needs to lay off the makeup. Geez. She's got the whole damn store on her face! It's enough to make anyone need to use their barfbag.
She spotted James and smiled seductively at him. Great…
He smiled back.
I narrowed my eyes at them both.
"Hi. Today we have a turkey sandwich or a salad. What would you like?" Her voice was about two octaves higher than any normal human beings should be.
"I'll have turkey." James was still smiling at her.
She was looking me over, trying to decide whether or not I was a potential threat. I guess she decided I wasn't. "Maybe you should have a salad."
Oh no. Did she really just say that? "I think I said I wanted the turkey. Okay? Okay. Now give us our food and move along. Other people are hungry too you know."
If looks could kill she would have just slaughtered me.
For the second time in two days a slut hit on James, "Maybe you could come say hi later in the back of the plane." She smiled at him and sashayed up the aisle.
"That was disgusting." I made a face.
"Someone seemed a tad bit jealous."
"I'm not jealous. I just thought you had better taste. She was nothing more than a common whore."
"Aw, don't worry. I've already found the girl I want." He winked at me.
OH MY GOD. Deep breathe. Oh my. I'm blushing again. I really need to stop acting like a love struck teenager. "I'm sure Clarise misses you too." Nice cover up. I think I'm getting better at this.
He rolled his eyes. "If I never see her again it'll be too soon."
I smiled faintly.
I yawned and stretched my arms. I'm feeling a bit tired.
Maybe I should take a…