Perpetual Arguments

Years pass while emotions become stagnant.
Nothing has changed
and nothing will,
except by force.
Reluctance and self-control do nothing
but prolong the inevitable,
while those who watch are fooled
by a simple act of indifference,
or even sheer aversion.
They can't possibly realize
the interminable battle that rages
inside my unwilling mind.
"Keep a straight face",
"Say something",
"Shut up".
Sometimes I even convince myself
Of something lesser or greater
Than what others may see.
'Denial' is an ugly word.