I actually forgot how to tie my shoes when I was writing this…

How to Tie a Shoe

Curses! You've just bought the most extraordinary pair of shoes ever, but alas, they have laces, and you don't know how to tie them. Whatever will you do? Well, dear friend, I am here to help!

The first step in tying one's shoe is to put the shoe on your foot. Simply stick your foot inside. Then pull the laces (those are the sting-thingies that hold the shoe together), up so the shoe is snug on your foot. Good! You've got that down pat.

Now that you are wearing your shoe, you can move on to the second step. Form an X with the laces. Then, take the right lace and fold it over, into the triangular hole made by the X. Pull tight on both laces.

When you've pulled enough that the "knot" is holding the shoe tight enough against your foot, you can then bend one lace over and form an oval, or O, shape with it. Make sure you do not lose this shape.

Then you must take the other lace with your other hand and wrap it a few times around your fingers and the oval shape.

Take the bottom part of the wrapped lace with the finger holding the oval, and pull it through the hole.

Pull tight, and follow the same procedure with the other shoe!

Congratulations! You've done a magnificent job!

Another way to tie your shoe is to simply repeat steps one and two. Then, make two ovals instead of just one, and repeat step two with them.

Now go for a walk in the park. Buy yourself some ice cream, you deserve it after all that hard work!