I've never watched anyone sleep before, Ant always woke before me and Nixon rarely slept beside me and if he did he'd spoon behind me so I couldn't. Watching Cameron felt a little weird, but I needed to think (something I'd been putting off for the better part of a month) and looking at him was actually helping me sort out the thoughts in my head.

Did I want to jump into a relationship straight away with him? Yes, he did love me, but was he going to be willing to wait for me to catch up emotionally?

Then there was the issue of my parents; Mum was a nightmare when it came to any boyfriend I had and although Dad was very calm and accepting I wasn't sure what he'd do if I announced that Cameron and I were together.

Cameron smiles in his sleep, it's quite sweet really, and he doesn't hold me like Ant or Nixon did, he complains that he gets hot, but he has to have some sort of physical contact. We've only slept in the same bed three times in our month together though, movie night, the night of the party and last night because Mum and Dad took Ella to see Penny so they can sort out her bridesmaid dress and meet the in-laws.

"Go back to sleep."

Rolling my eyes at Cameron's sleepy command, I disobey. Why should I? He's usually a morning person but we stayed up very late, talking. I've never stayed up nearly all night just to talk before either. I was painfully shy around Ant most of the time, and although we did speak it was never for hours on end, and talking with Nixon is about as common as him being nice (which means it's practically unheard of).


I grin at him and this time snuggle against his side, he puts an arm across my middle but it won't stay there for long, but he tangles a leg with mine so that when he does pull away we'll still be touching. I like his little quirks.

Is he a rebound?

I wish I knew. That night I was so distraught about what Nixon had done to me that I'd clung to Cameron, I wouldn't let him pull away from me even when he needed to climb over the gate. Most of me doubts that he is a replacement though, there was always something between us, I've never hated him (that was Gavin's job), and he's done so much for me over the years. I do care about him and he loves me, when we're together I feel comfortable and I'm definitely attracted to him.

"Go. To. Sleep." I snort and he opens an eyes to give me a half hearted glare, "I mean it, you're thinking too loud."

I don't stop thinking though, I just smile faintly and close my eyes and carry on. The thing that finally made me realise that I really did have feelings for Cameron was when he told me he loved me, I'd liked hearing it and hadn't been able to forget it for days. Then Nixon proved me wrong, showing me that he really was a complete bastard, and Cameron was still there for me. He was always there. That was what boyfriends did for each other right? They were there to depend on and in turn you did the same for them.

Nixon. Nixon was gone; he packed up and disappeared with his dad, and no one has seen him since I saw him the morning after the party.

"What are you doing here?" Nixon was shocked and I'd just stared at him, not sure how to feel.

Cameron had told me everything, told me how Nixon really did care about me and was pushing me away for stupid reasons. I was a person, fully capable of deciding who I wanted to be with, and Nixon had to right to force me away from him in the way that he did.

"I came to get my things," I was impressed with how calm I sounded and he nodded, stepping aside to let me into his rooms.

My stuff was already packed up in the bag I'd left the night before and I frowned as I saw how tidy the room was and how many bags had been packed.

"You're leaving?" for some reason it didn't surprise me at all that he was going to run away.

"Going to Japan with dad," Nixon shrugged and folding a pair of jeans, "Your crap is there, take it and fuck off."

"Cameron told me."

"Told you what?"

"Why you and Felicity did it," I walked over to pick up my bag and bit my lip, I'd wanted to be there for him and stand by him but he didn't want me around and he'd ruined any chance of keeping a vague sense of friendship, "You could have just told me."

"Would you have listened?"

"Maybe," I smiled faintly, it was a valid question – he did know me quite well after all, "If you'd given it a week I probably would have broken up with you anyway."


"Yes," I sighed as he shook his head with an amused smirk, and then walked over to him, "I wasn't trying to be difficult, I really do care about you."

"I know."

"Enjoy yourself in Russia."

"Why aren't you mad at me?" he demanded as I turned to leave and I hesitated, "Anyone else would have hit me by now."

Because I wasn't like that. I'd let everyone walk all over me and although I'd grown part of a backbone I wasn't very antagonistic. I should want to hit him…but I just didn't.

"You did what you thought was best. I'm not going to be difficult about this but we won't be friends anymore, I don't trust you anymore," I ran a hand through green hair, needing him to know what he'd done, "You hurt me last night, not only with the Felicity thing but when we had sex. You didn't have to do that to me, didn't have to give me so much pain. It hurt Nixon, really hurt, and Cameron is taking me to the doctors later to get it checked."

"Frey I…" he looked so lost, so…young…and I gave him a very faint smile.

"Goodbye Nixon. Have a nice life."

"What's left of it," he added bitterly as I opened the door and stepped out.

For me it had been closure, saying goodbye meant I could concentrate on Cameron and everyone else. Janie and Cameron hadn't been too pleased when I got home, they thought I shouldn't have gone to see him after what he did but I understood him. He might act like he was mature and grown up but he was still a kid, and a scared one at that, he was dying and he deserved to make his own choices.

I'd done the same with Ant; gone to see him, apologised for how I'd treated him, for interrupting the time I turned up and then ran away, and he'd just accepted my words with a few nods. I've not spoken to him since and when we've both been at the pub he sticks to his friends and I stay with mine.

"That's it."

Cameron pushes me out of bed and I glare up at him as he peers over the edge of the bed, I can't believe he just did that but before I manage to pounce he's caught my arms and he's kissing me. I love kissing him.

"Now you've successfully ruined any chance of sleep you can make me breakfast," he tells me through a yawn and I smirk at him.

"I want a shower first."

"Fine," he kisses my nose and grins when I wrinkle it, "I'll wait for you."

"Why not join me?" I ask as I nip at his ear and he shakes his head, pulling away completely.

He's insisting on doing it seriously, he doesn't want to have sex until I've caught up with him on the love aspect of things and no amount of urging on my part the night before had helped get him to change his mind. He even managed to resist when I went down on him, but he did return the favour. Part of me likes that he's so serious about me and wants things to work out but I wish he would give in.

"Are you having a shower or are you going to just sit there?"

"I'm going."

I lean against the wall in the shower and glance down at myself, Cameron seemed to be having that effect on me lately, and he knew it. I'm just about to reach down to stroke myself when someone else steps into the shower and I grin at him as he drops to his knees in front of me. He joined me after all.

"Oh god."

He's so good at that it should be illegal. I scrabble at the walls as he sucks and whimper when a finger pushes inside me and searches out my prostate.

"Oh fuck."

With Ant I was never loud, with Nixon he forced me to be loud but with Cameron it just comes naturally. With him I willingly scream. Which is exactly what I do as I come and after I've finished screaming, he stands up to kiss me lovingly.

"Love you," he breathes against my lips.

I feel like jelly as he reaches for the shampoo and close my eyes. Things didn't turn out so bad after all.



So that's it. I can't believe how many of you guys reviewed. I want to say thanks to:

Filaffellum, Shannon, Jayn, afi-him-1983, Ai No Ame, A Day Late, Nikerym Ksherea, Kitsune Luver, retaliation, cracksinthepavement, Tor, Kaunii, Esquirella, dyers-eve, Cherise, Collar De Espinas, princess max, TricksterGoddess, mandraco, BloodyDestiny, RainingInMyHead, Sunflor, Twisted Me, Whispery, Prisoner-11, Porn Yesterday, crissy, DanishGirl, Abbey, du3l3, tiablue, UnOriginal, Shhsilence, Willow Fern, Orangeena, J, Nuttyginger, sugarcrazedduckie, Sanna, tom, Aevum, Midnights Scream, Kasee Lara, Crayola123, Kian, Fan-Club-President18, EternalDream, deviegurl, shadow from within, WitherWithin, Evinus, Kitten and Chroma, Hitori-Hoshi, Ashley, GinnyYvette, puppy dog eyes, Ghostmoon dancer, DiamondKing, Sapphire, KoolZim, Rachel, reader., and Freakinstoner.

And to anyone that read but didn't

And a special thanks, because you all reviewed practically every chapter, to Ai No Ame, A Day Late and Esquirella.

Lastly, I won't be posting anything for a couple of months now because I'm just about to start Uni and life is going to get busy. I do have about 20,000 words for Nano already written that I need to edit though so there is definitely going to be more from me.