Realising / I'm Me

When I was younger,
I would see my mum from a distance,
Enjoying life and being happy,
But, when I looked much closer at her,
I would always see pain swimming in her dark eyes,
And it would be like sharp needles
Injecting sadness into my mind, body and soul,
Because I knew that this pain was caused by
Seeing and hearing snippets of my father,
The person that she hates with her all,
Whenever she gazed at me
And listened to me speak,
Therefore, my heart would always cry
Because there was nothing I could do
Except decide if I should live on
Or just run away and die
So that she wouldn't have to experience the pain anymore,
But, over the years,
I've realised that she's realising
That although I have some of his characteristics
I'm me, not him
And so, whenever she gazes at me
Or listens to me speak now
With the pain only lightly visible in her eyes
Just having the ability to make my heart cry a little,
I wrap my arms around her and smile,
Letting her know that all she's realising is the truth,
And, through the warmth of our hug,
I send a message to her,
Saying that I'm very optimistic about the moment
That her eyes will shine back at me
With so much happiness and complete realisation,
Knowing that will be the time
My heart won't have a reason to cry for her anymore...

Authors Note: I wrote this poem quite awhile ago. As you can see, this poem is very, very personal. I wasn't planning on post it, but, well, here it is. All is well.