"Hi, is Meg there?"
"Yeah, this is she."
"Hey Meg it's Lauren."
I smiled to myself. It was great being home this week. Many of the kids that I used to run around with knew I was home and had already called to see if I wanted to do something. Lauren was one of the people that I really liked to hang out with. When we are together we are so hyper, and we always have a lot of fun.
"Hey what's up?"
"Nothing much, just going to the baseball game tonight. You know the Rascals versus the Wild Things. It's a 7 tonight. Seth is going and he is bringing his friend Zane. I think some of the other guys are going to. We can pick you up if you want?"
"Um, yeah that sounds good. Let me ask."
I put my hand over the phone and yelled to my mom. She nodded her head and continued talking on her cell phone.
"Yeah I'm allowed I will see you at 6:45?"
"Sweet, I'll see you then."
I looked at the clock realizing it was already 5:15. I sat down in front of my mirror and quickly straightened my hair.
Ok, I can do this. Just because I have trial in a couple of days doesn't mean I'm not allowed some fun, right? Ugh, so much hair. I finished the last layer and put on my favorite scort and one of the new shirts I got from the city. Before I knew it I was grabbing my purse and heading out the door to meet Lauren. Her mom pulled up in the little blue car as I was hugging Mom good-bye. I jumped in the car and we sped away.
"Thanks!" I said as Lauren pulled me out of the car and into the line waiting for tickets.
You could tell the game had already started because the line was short and the cheers arose from the crowd. We quickly paid our five dollars and hurried into the stadium. As we walked in I could tell Lauren was looking for Seth.
"So who is this Zane kid?" I asked curiously as we sat down as one of the many picnic tables.
"He is Seth's friend. He is super tall and nice. He plays baseball too. Seth's game today was against his team. They probably lost like they always do."
Seth plays baseball for one of the American Legion teams. Apparently they are the worst team in the league. I had only been to two games and they only won one. It was their first win of the season and everyone was surprised. I swore it was because of my lucky sunglasses. I was wearing them tonight but decided to put them in my purse. As we sat talking we noticed one of our guy friends walking around the corner.
"Hey Connor!" Lauren waved him over.
"Hey Lauren, hey Meg. I heard you were back in town. What's up?"
"Well I got a week off of school."
"AKA you got kicked out of school for a week. What did you do?"
I laughed, "Well I yelled at this girl during the lunch. Ads is back too."
"Sweet. So do you like not living here?"
"No. I miss you guys. I've met a lot of new people but I always change schools. I liked staying at the city school but…"
"So, Connor what are you doing here?" Lauren deliberately changed the subject away from Dov. People in town knew what had happened and they knew I was the reason he was in the center. Lauren noticed I didn't want to talk about and for that I was thankful.
"Well my parents decided to come for once. I was afraid no one was going to come but then I talked to Seth and he said he was coming so I knew you were going to be here but I didn't know who you were bringing."
I kind-of zoned out as they talked about school, and summer reading. Which was coming up very soon. School was almost out. I don't know why they are starting a track team we get out in almost a month. I thought about this and was only pulled from my thinking when Seth came running up to give Lauren a hug.
"Hey Meg. What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too. Lauren called and brought me. I'm in town for the week."
"Hey Zane where is Erin?"
"We broke up. She…it's a long story."
"Oh," Lauren said it like Oh well this is my lovely and single friend Meg, " This is Meg."
"Hey," This Zane kid was cute. He was tall and when I say tall I mean tall. He is 6 foot 6.
"Hi." We all sat down at the picnic table.
That night we walked around during the game, not watching any of it. I like Zane. I like Zane a lot. He is the first guy I really, really liked after Dov. Some where during night we just clicked. It was the instantaneous moment when I knew I could talk with him, flirt with him, just be happy around him. It has been a long time before I was truly and actually happy. So when he asked me out that night the only thing I could think of was YES! I didn't think about the fact that we had just met or what my mom was going to say. School was almost out; summer is a time for new relationships. A time to be free. I had definitely fallen head over heels for Zane.
Before I knew it Lauren's parents were calling her phone saying that they were waiting. We said bye to Connor. Zane and Seth walked with us to the exit and we hugged before we got in the car. Overall I think it was very productive night.
The one thing I dread is telling my mom I have a boyfriend. Moms just don't seem to get the whole idea that us teenage girls are going to date. We like boys and you would think that they would consider that a good thing. It's not like they want us to grow up and become loners or something. But alas they hate that we like to flirt or even date guys. Especially my mom it seems. She thinks that I will get all wrapped up in a guy and forget my schoolwork or what not. Which I won't but she doesn't understand that. So when I told her in the car that I was going out with Zane she was much calmer about it that I thought.
"Mom what would you do if I told you I was going out with Zane?"
"I would kill you."
"Ok then I won't tell you."
Man am I an idiot? You should never bring things like that up in the car. Because then you are stuck in the car with them while they can rant and rave and you can't do anything about it unless you opened the door and jumped out to your doom.
We sat in a somewhat stony silence for the next fifteen minutes. I was leaving to go back to MS4G's in a couple of days. There were some last minute things I needed to pick up and I have my trial tomorrow. I was so nervous. What was I going to tell Zane? Uh Zane sorry I can't do anything today I have a trial I have to go to and then I have to go back to the boarding school three hours away. Oh that would go over just dandy. We got to Wal-Mart and I jumped out of the car as fast I could. The stony silence evaporated and she started asking me questions. We could never stay mad at each other for very long. My mom and I are actually really close. Yeah we fight but other than that we are pretty tight. I can't believe I just uttered the word tight. Wow.
It didn't take us very long to grab the random things I needed for school. There was only about three weeks left.
"Mom what do you think about me doing track?"
"I don't think that is a good idea right now. With the trial and only three weeks of school left."
"Yeah I guess. The trial is tomorrow isn't it?" I know stupid question right? But it seems so surreal. I've been walking around in a haze it seems. So happy yet so scared at the same time. Maybe I should tell Zane explain everything he could be there for me. But then I come back to reality and realize that he will probably just run away screaming.
"Have you told anyone? Meg you know Jill is right you need to tell someone. Tell Adriana, someone. You can't carry this burden by yourself."
Darn she had me stuck in the car again, "I have and I still can. No one needs to know."
"It's going to be in the paper Meg. Tell her before she finds out the hard way."
"I don't know, maybe." I looked out the window watching the busy streets zoom past as we drove home. No teenage girl should have to worry about this sort of thing. All I should have to worry about is pimples and boys. Not, saying the right thing in a trial and hoping that my best friend doesn't find out that my boyfriend abused me.
"Why don't you have Adriana come spend the night?"
"Sure," I said absentmindedly.
We arrived home and I walked up to my room and sat on my window seat with my iPod blaring, no one can bother you when you can't hear them.
As I sat in my room while my mother made the call that changed my life. She told Adi's mom about my trial. She told her everything, all the hurt, why I changed schools, everything. She explained that I had to tell Adi before it got to late. She asked if Adi could spend the night and come to the trial with us in the morning. Deborah said that she understood. She would bring Adi down around six.
"Please don't tell her anything. It is something Meg should do."
"What is something Meg should do?"
"Nothing. That was Deborah she said that Adi can spend the night."
"Sweet, what are we having for dinner?"
"Oh just your favorite, Hanky-Pankys."
"That's cool," I tried to muster a smile.
I went back upstairs and picked up my room. Adi was coming in fifteen minutes and my room was a pigsty. My trial clothes were hanging on my mirror…
"Adi can't come over I have the trial in the morning."
"I guess you will just have to tell her then won't you?
"Honey this is for you. You need to tell her. She is your best friend. She wants you to trust her. Why are you so scared?"
"Because…what if I scare her and she leaves me? I can't lose someone else. Adi is my best friend, she is like my sister."
"And that is exactly the reason she needs to know. She wants to know."
"HONEY I'M HOME!" Adi walked in through the garage door.
"Did I call that one or what?"
I laughed and wiped away the tears that had started down my face.
"Hey girlie." Adi said as she walked into my room.
My mom went back downstairs to cook dinner.
"Have you eaten?"
"Nope what are we having?"
"Score! What is the special occasion?"
"I don't know." I shrugged and set Adi's stuff down. She plopped down in my mushroom chair and I sat on the bed. It was great just us to sitting and talking like old times. No pressure, nothing to worry about. The trial evaporated from my mind. We talked about Zane because he was the only thing on my mind at that point and the mission trip that Adi and Beau were going on while I was stuck in summer gym. We just relaxed like we always do, we don't have to have something planned for us to have a good time together. About an hour later my mom yelled up that food was ready. Adi and I raced down the stairs to the kitchen. We piled a plate high with hanky-pankys and sat down on the couch to watch Gilmore Girls, our favorite show.
That's the always the best part or being with a friend. We do the same things all the time. Letting go of our fights and tears and letting the smiles and laughter awaken. The last couple of months have been hard on me but Adi has been there. She doesn't know why I some nights I sit in my room and cry and why I have the scars on my back. Why I Zane is the first boy I've looked at since I changed schools. I have to tell her. No matter how hard I try this trial, this pain will always be a large part of me. A part of me that will never go away.