December's Gone

Matt sat alone in the dark bedroom of his college apartment. The setting sun outside cast a dim orange glow on the wall across from the room's solitary window. He sat on the side of his bed, his piercing green eyes reading the note over and over that his roommate, Tom had left him on his nightstand. The words he ran over finally sunk in. His roommate, his best friend was in love with him. This one page confession of love, confusion, and worry left Matt in a state of confusion all his own. He didn't know what to think. He ran a hand through his dark brown spiky hair and let out a deep breath. Matt had his suspicions before that his best friend was bi. That confession didn't shock him; it didn't bother him all. But he was just so shocked that Tom felt that way.. about him.

Matt read the note again and sighed. He suddenly found himself thinking about him always being so overprotective of Tom; of those little jealous pangs when he saw Tom and his ex-girlfriend kissing; of that brief time a year ago when he had a little 'man-crush' on Tom. They were dared to kiss each other, and Matt 'felt something'. But Matt dismissed these thoughts. They were both drunk that day. That kiss meant nothing, and those feelings for Tom were easily ignorable and faded away. Yet those supposed 'faded away feelings', were being felt at that moment. He was afraid to admit it: Matt was in love with him. He kept the feelings buried so long, he almost tricked himself into forgetting.

"I'm in love with Tommy," he said it out loud expecting to laugh, but instead he smiled. Perhaps, he thought, he had been denying it all this time. At that moment of realization Matt heard Tom come back home. He could hear him downstairs talking playfully to his dog. Matt became nervous at the sound of Tom's feet softly padding up the stairs. His nervousness probably paled in comparison to Tom's. Matt sat on the edge of his bed waiting, the note still in his hand.

Tom stood in the doorway of the bedroom they shared. He took his Red Sox hat off revealing his short messy black locks beneath. He threw the hat on his bed and looked at Matt through the long bangs that were hanging before his eyes. He quickly looked down to the floor.

"You read my letter, I guess," he said still staring at the carpet.

"Yeah.."

"You hate me now, don't you?" Tom looked up to Matt, his brown eyes looking so sad and crushed, making Matt's heart sink.

"Tommy, no.. come here," Matt patted the bed at his side for Tom to come sit next to him. Tom sat hunched over, his hands clasped nervously as he stared down at his bare feet. Matt placed the note back on his nightstand and looked back to Tom, taking a deep breath. "I'm glad you told me." Matt slipped his tongue out from between his lips nervously wetting them. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak, but found himself paralyzed when trying to do so. Silence engulfed them. Matt knew that this must be torturing Tom, but he simply couldn't get any words out.

Tom looked up at Matt, his face displaying a blend of hope and sadness at the same time. Green eyes locked with brown eyes, and Matt was taken aback. Never in his wildest dreams would he had ever thought he would see Tom in this new light. They had been friends since the first grade. They had been through a lot together in the 15 years they had known each other; from playing superheroes in their backyards, to girlfriend trouble, to hospitalizations, to Tom's suicide attempt to.. to just everything. They had always been best friends, and Matt had always loved him. He saw now, though, that he was in love with him. It's kind of funny how things can change..

"Tom.." Matt managed to regain his ability to speak, "I.. I actually had a crush on you before.." Tom looked at him unbelieving. "That time on spring break, when Tina dared us to kiss. Now, I've been thinking a lot today… well, about you, and—"

Tom cut him off, standing up from the bed. He took a few steps away, and remained facing the door as he spoke, "..And you're sorry, 'cause you don't feel that way anymore. I'm too late right? I'm sorry I ever brought this up. Now I've just gone and made things weird, I know."

Matt sighed and stood, "No, that's not it at all. Actually, I was going to ask if I could kiss you." At that Tom whipped around with a shocked look on his face. "You know," Matt went on, "..to see if we like it. So.. can I kiss you?"

"Uh, yeah.. yeah, of course." Matt stepped to Tom and gathered him in his arms. Matt leaning down, and Tom on his tiptoes; their lips gently collided together. Slowly the tender kiss became more heated. Matt suddenly pulled away, and Tom frowned. "So.. I take it that you didn't enjoy that as much as I did then."

"Far from it," Matt smiled, "I just wanted to tell you that I like you."

"Like me, like me?"

Matt laughed, "Yes." Tom light up with a grin and hugged Matt tightly. Their embrace ended, and they stood facing each other, holding each other's hands.

"So.." Tom started, but he blushed and looked down at his feet. Matt looked down at Tom's six inch shorter frame and smirked.

"Okay, I'll save you the embarrassment," Matt said giving Tom's hands a squeeze, "Tomlin Madden, will you be my boyfriend?" Tom looked back up and giggled. He threw his arms around Matt's neck and kissed him. "I'll take that as a yes."