Do you know just how much I want to be with you? To hold your hands, hug you, and kiss you? But.. there always seems to be a but, doesn't there? .. but. But how can I believe you feel the same when you don't.. you don't care that we've gone a week and a half with no alone-time. You're perfectly able and not bothered at all by the idea that we might not do.. anything even slightly intimate in a day, when we see each other more than 3 times. .. I've asked what I've done. I've asked if you're mad. The answers have been nothing. And no. but. But how can I believe you? Either you're lying to me for some strange reason.. or you really just don't want to be around me as much as I want to be around you. .. It… it hurts when the one you love pulls away from a mere attempted hug. It's almost physically painful to see you so happy with a friend in the hallway, only to turn tentative and wary when with me. Is it so much to ask for you to be happy?

And then I have to ask myself. Did you agree to have sex with me simply because you didn't want your first time to be with someone who you didn't know that well? Did I just.. fill in? .. were you just using me? .. because.. somehow.. after I came back to earth.. you seemed to be treating me differently. If I didn't start a conversation nothing got said. If I didn't make a move, you just stood there. If I admit to these feelings, you accuse me of things. And ask if I need pity? Do you really know me so little? I want not your pity. I look down upon those who pity me, for if they cannot see my will to stand through problems, they do not know me. … do you know me?

Where have all the goodbyes gone? Have my feelings left you taking me for granted? Is my love assumed? .. I still care, but.. I can't keep a relationship going by myself. A house with 2 walls will not stand. And it will do nothing to comfort or protect. Where has the spark gone? A distance has grown between us. And that distance can only do one of two things. Bring us closer… or tear us apart.

I may be a man, but I feel just as much as any woman. And I'm not as blind as you may think I am. I've been dumped, I know the signs now.. they were there, loud and clear before. And I'm beginning to see them again. I'm doing my best to heal the rift.. but as I said.. a bridge must have 2 ends. If I build a bridge and it only goes halfway… you must meet me there. If we can't.. then I think we're headed the same direction as me and my ex's relationship. One way or another, we'll figure it out. I wish with all my heart we can go back to our relationship, stronger than ever. But as of now.. I've seen little evidence of that happening.

- the world is unfair. Wonderful, strong relationships weaken and die, and stronger, if slightly less wonderful ones take their places. Fight for your relationship, but don't hold so tight you go down with it. Learn the signs, as well as when to let go, and when to hold on. Don't force it.. the other person must want the relationship to live as well. Without both of you.. it cannot survive.

-InsertYahooScreenNameHere- (3/24/2006 10:59:36 PM): .... sigh goodnight. goodnight and sorry for.. .. no, no, I'm not sorry. I have a right to be down. I have a right to be affected by things. and I have a right to feel. .. and I've got to say.. when you used to comment on how a week'd gone bye without us doing anything and how much you missed me. or how much you wished we could've done something.. I felt warm. loved. but .. what changed? how is it that I'm the one noticing now? .. that I'm the only one who seems to see a problem in no hugging or kissing? .. what happened?

-InsertYahooScreenNameHere- (3/24/2006 11:01:54 PM): .. please.. don't ignore me, and don't take me for granted. I don't sway easily from my course. but don't .. ... there's gotta be a road to go with my car. (and I'm not trying to be perverted or anything)

-InsertYahooScreenNameHere- (3/24/2006 11:02:24 PM): I'm not asking for pity. I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm simply asking... what changed?

-InsertYahooScreenNameHere- (3/24/2006 11:02:59 PM): ... goodnight. goodnight and we'll just have to see what happens tomorrow, hmm?