SCENE: Convention center, decorated with usual Antiques Roadshow banners. We see the Appraiser standing in front of a table.

Appraiser: Hello and welcome to the Antiques Road Show! As you know, this is the show where people take their items to appraisers to see what they are worth. Today we are in Pittsburg, Kansas, and there are many people here with some very interesting items, so let's make some appraisals! I see you have an interesting... object here, could you tell us a little about it Ms...

Lalelaylolana Hezikial Mucha Sanchero Hung : My name is Lalelaylolana Hezikial Mucha Sanchero Hung the second, but you can call me Lalelaylolana Hezikial Mucha Sanchero, and this is my ... rubber ducky. His name is Alberto Vladimir Keril the fifth, but you can call him Bob, isn't that right Bob? Say hello!

Bob: squeak.

Appraiser: Well Ms. Hung, can you tell us about this little guy? How long have you had him?

Ms. Hung: Well, I can't remember when I didn't have him, but my mom tells me she bought him at a garage sale.

Appraiser: Hmmm, interesting. Well, of course there aren't many rubber duckies on the market, but this little guy is special. I can tell you that this duck is made only in Notimportantville, Idaho, by the designer Ernie Shlunx. Although rubber duckies were not Mr. Shlunx's most famous work, he later went on to create the obese Ken doll. Since this is an early Shlunx, it could be quite valuable. Do you have any idea of what Bob might be worth?

Ms. Hung: Well, he's always been very special to me, but as for money...

Appraiser: I think that this rubber... uh... Bob, might be worth about 50,000 dollars!

Ms. Hung: WOW! Did you hear that Bob?

Bob: Squeak!

Appraiser: But, wait just a minute Ms. Hung, what's this little dent?

Ms. Hung: Oh! That happened one day when I was taking a bath and my little brother started to come into the bathroom. I threw Bob at him, and missed, but Bob hit the door knob, and this dent is the tragic result.

Appraiser: That's very touching, Ms. Hung, but, with the dent, I think I could probably take it off your hands for, say, 50... cents.

Ms. Hung: What? (begins sobbing uncontrollably)

Appraiser: Well, maybe I could make an exception. How does 10 dollars sound?

Ms. Hung: Oh, I couldn't part with Bob! SOB, SOB, SOB! He's my best....

Appraiser: Okay, okay, 50,000 no problem, okay? Sheesh!

Ms. Hung: Sure. In cash, please.

Appraiser: See me after the show.

Ms. Hung: You bet! (tosses him the duck)

Bob: squeak!

Appraiser: Who says these shows aren't full of surprises? Hello! You have a very interesting object here, too! Could you tell us about it Ms. Stringfellow?

Sarah Stringfellow: Well, when my grandfather died he me these gallstones in his will.

And the really interesting thing is, they aren't even his gallstones. My great-grandfather was the surgeon for president Woodrow Wilson,

Appraiser: You mean these gallstones were removed from the body of...

Stringfellow: President Woodrow Wilson. And since then, they have been passed down through the family.

Appraiser: Well, this is very interesting! But, as interesting as these gallstones are, what I'm really interested in here is the jar! It looks to be made of vintage French glass from the early 1800's. This style of jar was only made for 6 weeks and to my knowledge, every existing jar has been acquired by Martha Stewart!

Sarah Stringfellow: But, what about the gallstones?

Appraiser: Well, I don't know about their value, but (pops in mouth) they're delicious!

(Sarah Stringfellow passes out, dragged backstage by stagehand.)

Appraiser: Well, this would probably be a good time to say good-bye, but join us next week for another exciting episode of the Antiques Road Show!