this is all

this i promise you:
to never talk or see you again after
you (have the strength to) apologize to
the girl with bleeding (stapled-shut) eyes,
who gently caresses the scars (that mean
nothing to you but so much to me).

this i don't hesitate to say:
how much you hurt me although these
words could never express everything
that you have (are) done (doing). but
you seem to not take in everything that
i have been saying to you in the past months.

this i want you to answer:
did i ever mean(t) as much as you made me feel?
is this what/how you expected me to be?
do i ever cross your mind the same as you do mine?
can you tell me what your heart is dying to say?
(because i promise i will listen if you listen to me.)

this i need you to know:
that you mean(t) so much to me
(enough to make me bleed when i ((am))
tried ((trying)) so hard to let this go).
in the end, it'll just be you and me and
the three words that could end this all.

and these are just a few things that i can say
to you (even though you aren't listening) but
at least i can say that i tried (by the scars on
my wrists all my hurt is evident). and i'm
dying to hear what you have to say to this
when i finally see your face again.

March 25, 2006


author's note: i'm playing with the format here. i'm not sure i like it.