you want this

my hope is driven by the thought(s) of
knowing that one day, you'll apologize.
and then (maybe) i can finally let this go
from my grasps (but not from my memory).

and i'll open stapled eyes to see the
(new) light of day & i know that you
laugh to yourself because you think it's
funny how (you believe) i torture myself
(because you'll never really be sorry) but
why don't you try walking in my shoes,
carrying my memories & seeing words such
as these, dripping onto paper in attempt(s)
to release the anger eating away at my flesh.

and everything (i kept inside) came out as
blood, tears, vomit & (silent) screams because
i just want you to know how (from even so far
away) you are picking me apart as i disintegrate
slowly until (this) nothingness remains.

but this is what you want(ed) right?
is that why you haven't said one thing
to me when you know (oh god, i know
you know because i told you) that this
hurts me more than it hurts you?

and you'll just be the death of me with your
name carved into the bullet (and into my skin).

March 26, 2006

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author's note:a random formatting but i think that i like it & i think that i like this piece as well. tell me what you think.