Perfect Jealousy

Sock it to me all again

I hope I overused your three syllables

Cause being cracked up porcelain

Is hardly what it's cracked up to be

And tell me that I'm gorgeous

Dress me up for all the world

And I'll reward you with a smile

But I thought you'd know

I thought you'd know

-

And inside I'm just as lovely

Just as chaotic as I'm made out to be

But you keep telling me I'm golden

And keep telling me I've got it easy

Dress me up for all your shallow dreams

Give me love potions and smoke screens

And I'll just smile and say thanks

Cause that's what you want

And I'm what you want

-

I know you think it's fun to be the one

How many people fed the lines straight through your head?

-

And I'm porcelain and I'm on your shelf

And you look at me

And hope to see yourself

But I've got cold glass eyes

And my kiss is empty

But if you still want that

You can have that

You can keep every hollow breath I took

And you can savor every shallow yearning look

-

And paper dolls all hold your hands

And you drink sleep straight from your sand man

And I'm still wishing

I'm still crying

I'm still out of reach

-

Because lace and paint

All melt away

When you just cast me one soft gaze

And I thought you could see how slowly I'm suffocating in agony

-

And I'm porcelain and I'm on your shelf

And you look at me

And hope to see yourself

But I've got cold glass eyes

And my kiss is empty

But if you still want that

You can have that

You could be that

And people would believe that

-

But when you come crying with your silent tears

And shattered hopes and shattered fears

And thank me with a smile

That once was my very own

I'll dress you up for all the world

And you can call all that your "perfect" home

And I know you think I stole your dreams

But believe me babe it's not how it seems

-

And I'm porcelain and I'm on your shelf

And you look at me

And hope to see yourself

And I'm everything

You wanted to become

I'm just waiting for you to take this burden

I'm holding my breath till you're the one


A/N- It's about drowning under microscopes and hearing the same compliment over and over and over until you're ready to shoot yourself because you're not perfect but no one else knows that so when you mess up it's only that much bigger. Only pretty soon they all just forget you ever messed up and you're still on the pedestal. But instead of being happy that you're back in "your" place (in "that" place) you just keep thinking about how now everyone hates you that much more because you picked yourself up so well. Only I bet you didn't know that you only get really (really, really, really) good and picking yourself up by being knocked down so many times that you just teach yourself not to cry. And if you want all that, I'd gladly give it you. Unlike me, I just want you to know what you're signing up for.

And maybe it is (I am) a little conceited. Isn't poetry exaggeration? Well so is pefection.

Love,

The Fourth Fate