i do this

i.
through cracked & bleeding lips, i'm
saying sorry (for all the things that i never
did wrong because i just want you to say the
words back to me & say it like you mean it).

ii.
i'll deliver my heart to you (in a
box), bleeding & bruised & broken,
sewn together by your thread of lies
(just so you can see what you have done).

iii.
i'll show you the scars scattered across
my wrists and maybe you'll see how
much you mean(t) to me (because through
gritted teeth, i'm trying so hard to stop myself).

iv.
i just want (/need) this to end (where
thinking of you doesn't bring bile to my
throat) and never to see your face again
(and for these scars to disappear).

v.
i promise to never speak of you again (if you
would only just do that one thing) when this is
over (because speaking/remembering this will bring
back unwanted memories of blood, vomit, & tears).

March 27, 2006

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author's note: yet another different format. i actually like the formatting but don't care much for the piece. it's kind of funny how all these (unwanted)memories are coming back to me in a time when i really don't want/need them.