4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies :14.00
A gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream :2.57
One medium cheese pizza: 5.93
Being a 28 year old overweight psychiatrist whose life consists of junk food and late night movies. Has no sex life (let alone a social life) who is also seriously contemplating homicide because her best..Ex-bestfriend has just married the love of her life (who has no idea she exists FUCKING PRICELESS!
I cracked open my last box of Girl Scout cookies and took a seat on my overused, badly stained but still comfortable floral couch. Friday nights were always depressing. While everyone else was out dancing and drinking and having fun, I Eloise Guye, sat at home watching yet again another classic old movie. Tonight's special, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes with the stunning Marilyn Monroe and the curvaceous Jane Russell.
I couldn't help but agree with the title, Gentlemen, well actually men in general do prefer blondes. My friend, the one who got married, a blonde and my adopted brother from Russia married a blonde. OK I can't base my theory of blondes being the most appealing to men solely on these two incidents, but it's a start.
By the end the movie the box of cookies were gone. Next up a not so old or classic movie but one of my favorites, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights not nearly as popular as the original, but I think it's better than the first one. It always leaves me feeling not as depressed, I watch it every Friday.
The night went on, movie after movie; I finally decided to go to sleep at two am. I had a to work ,had a "special" appointment, meaning it was some rich bastard coming in who was probably depressed because mummy was drinking again and daddy was having another affair. That may sound incredibly stupid and lame, but that's what at least 89.9 percent of my patients come whining to me about. Don't get me wrong I truly love my job but sometimes I wish people could just suck it the fuck up! I know, I'm the most insensitive shrink in Virginia, but I'm also one of the best.
The buzzing of my alarm clock woke me at ten am and I felt like if I were to get out of bed I would blow chunks everywhere. Last night it seemed like a good idea to eat a whole box of cookies and three slices of pizza, but now, not so much. But I hadto make that, money how else was going to support myself and my junk food habits. Rolling out of the bed I walked very slowly to the bathroom stopping every time I felt my stomach go swoosh gurgle, gurgle I hate that feeling. I hopped into the shower hopping that I would be able to survive the drive to work. Throw up in car is not a good thing.
Pulling on my clothes I glanced at my clock 11:10 . Okay so, I was going to be a little late, but if this guy even wanted a session today he was gonna have to wait. 11:30 I was in the car .
I arrived at the office at about 12:15. Lisa my blonde and perky secretary was their , it was Saturday but she had made the decision to come into work every time I had an appointment.
"Morning Ella" Lisa shouted enthusiastically. I gave her a crappy hello and she gave me a knowing look. Lisa knew all about the late night movie/junk food fest I had about every Friday. Sometimes she would join me.
By this time I couldn't stand up straight because of my awful tummy ache.
"I sent the guy in already he's waiting in your office." Then whispering to me
"He looks like a real prick."
Just what I need another bastard to add onto my list of patients, walking into my office I tried to straighten up but in vain ,I was just going to have to be a hunchback for today.
"Hello Mr. Wilson, I am very sorry to keep you wait-."
"Lets just get started Ms. Guye, I am paying by the minute and I am starting to regret my choice of you as my therapist. I must say being late is very unprofessional on your part." He said in a very cold voice.
"I am very sorry, Mr. Wilson" I said in a weak voice. I promptly sat in my plush leather chair.
"Please tell me Mr. Wilson why you are in need of my services."
"My mother is an alcoholic , my father is sleeping with my girlfriend my sister is suicidal and my family Is slowly driving me insane." Wilson said , his voice still icy .
"Hmm, tell me a little about yourself. Your hobbies, your child hood , what about your sister?"
"I enjoy sailing and reading an- . Ms. Guye are you felling alright you look a little sick ?"
"Oh yeah I'm great. Please continue." No, I was not alright that box of cookies and pizza was coming up now!
Before Wilson could even continue his sentence I had thrown up on his more than likely expensive shoes and pants. I ad no idea that throw up could go that far . As I looked at Mr. Wilson's Face I wanted to laugh and cry.
Armani Pants: 400.00
Gucci Men's Shoes: 300.00
Seeing your prick of a patients face after you up chuck on his fancy pants and shoes and then hear him scream like a girl : once again priceless.
AN: alright that's it for now, I'm hoping I can actually finish this story. Geez I'm such a flaky writer I can never stick to a story but I'm going to try my hardest to complete this story . what do y'all think? Review mes amies!!!
PS I know it starts off slow and all, sorry. I am trying to kind of model Eloise after me. This is a interracial story. I haven't given a lot of details yet but I will.