It was Halloween weekend, and it seemed the perfect excuse to meet up with Amy. For a few weeks I had promised that I would go to the Cathouse with her. Yeah, we had been seeing each other for just over a year. It was the closest I had ever come to a perfect relationship. Any spare time from the band and work was spent in her company. I did begin to get the feeling that she was growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of time I was spending with her, it was only natural. We had seen each other like twice in a month. It never really hut me that she was unhappy though, see girls are good like that. Masters of deception they certainly can be.

She had called me like ten minutes before leaving to meet my friend Brice. She seemed sidetracked, and there was a panic in her voice. It didn't quite border on distressed, but I was worried.

"I am going to be late honey. Kirsty isn't her yet, her dad got held up at work, and I can't go into town without her. Ill give you a call when we get there,"

Normally we would spend five minutes talking, and that was a bare minimum. We completely adored each other, and we were still riding on the whole ' 3' hysteria, which was leaking onto msn names worldwide.

I never read too much into our lack of communication; I headed down to meet Brice. This was Saturday religion; well it was before Pyrophense became a full time project. We then boarded the train, and attempted our usual routine of avoiding the ticket inspector at all costs. Anyone from Glasgow will tell you that it's 'Plus 1000 scene points to those who can manage to skip a fare'.

"So whatcha been up to Kelman?" Brice asked with a genuine enthusiasm.

"Not much man – just been in the studio with my band. We start our tour next week," I replied.

"Awesome, when is your Glasgow date again?"

"26th in King Tuts. You better be there ya cunt,"

The conversation then drifted in and out of the usual subjects including work, the twat who tried short changing me in Asda and of course – Amy. I was still awaiting the phone call she promised me more than two hours ago. I gave her a phone, but it rang out. She must have been busy, or maybe she couldn't hear it going off. We had that problem before – trains are loud these days.

"Ouch!" I don't get girls who try suffocating me with hugs. If I wanted a bear hug, I would have pursued a career in wrestling. This was Saturday however, and as we all pretended to love each other with endearing hugs and in genuine banter, my eyes dilly-dallied to about 25 metres up the street.

My princess

She was beautiful, and oozed this charisma that no other girl had. The icing on the cake? She was my girl…all the other guys in our group were always jealous. She was like the chick; I wasn't supposed to have. My teenage male hormones were all over the gaff at the sight of her pearl necklace and tempting short corset skirt matched with black stripy fishnets. She gave me shivers up my spine, and I swear my heart must have skipped two paces as she approached me.

Her smile was endearing, and as we wrapped our arms around each other in a slow motion ecstasy – I felt safe, knowing that she felt secure in my arms.

My hands slowly moved around her tummy, she moaned lightly in my ears. Her breath was warm, and it heated me up. Nobody else heard the moans, I always found it hilarious how saucy we were in the middle of the busiest street in town…

It was an average night for the music played. Three years on and DJ Billy still plays Funeral for a Friend directly after Lostprophets. We danced regardless, from the first song to the last. When I see 'we' – I meant myself, Ryan, Brice and Coco. The punk floor became ours between 7 to 8; it was our time to jump around like psuedo – 21st century rock stars. Normally ending up with myself staring at the lights after being swung around like a rag doll by Coco. He meant well I guess, but he always got carried away, and it pissed me off.

I was drenched in sweat, I really should get used to sweating by now, because I was about to sweat my arse off for eighteen nights in a row. This was my last moments of freedom, and I wanted to spend every second before I left with Amy. As I accompanied her to the platform, I caught glimpse of her eye. She was crying, and this made me feel uneasy. I wasn't use to her crying. I tried to hold her, which resulted in her rolling up into a protective ball, much like a hedgehog does. The whaling became louder, and as the train left the platform, she sat redundant – her tears were forming a waterfall. I didn't say anything; silence seemed to say it. In reality, I was hopeless. Nothing I could say would make it better, but I didn't know what was wrong. So how could I confront the problem?

"Amy, why are you crying?" I quizzed

"…"

"Amzywamzy, sweetheart, are you o.k.? What's up?" She quite clearly wasn't ok, but I didn't know what else to say.

I rested my hand on her lap, just to have it instantly removed. She was pushing me away. I was hurting her, and I couldn't see it. Just my presence made her sick. Her corset now displayed a puddle of tears. I felt like crying myself, I loved her so much. You know that way you cant bear to see someone you love cry without feeling the waterworks turn on yourself? Well that's the position I found myself in.

We sat for almost an hour in complete silence. She then gazed up at me. Her eyes red raw with tears.

"Are you still here?" she gushed

She looked at my face and laughed. I have this gummy smile, and it always made her laugh. I didn't think it would work this time, but she was suckered in straight away. I didn't say anything; I just held out my arms. She dived into them; time went by slowly, but for twenty minutes. I just held her, and I rubbed her head, like it would somehow make her pain disappear. Now and again, she would squeeze me extra tightly. This was her way of saying 'thanks'.

With her head tucked into my chest, I held her firm. She then raised her head and looked into my eyes. Ill never forget the look she gave me, I felt sick – sick with love. I was blind to the trains entering and leaving the station.

"What am I going to do?" she murmured.

"What do you mean?" I laughed

"You leave soon, I am going to miss you so badly." This was breaking her heart.

"I am going to miss you too, but I have to do this. You know I do." I replied

"No you don't, just do it another time. Please? I love you so much, I never see you anymore, and sometimes I think…I…it doesn't matter…" She was crying again

"What is up? Please tell me? It does matter. How can I make it better, if I don't know what your thinking? I thought we could talk about anything?" It was true though; we could talk about anything?

Why was she not letting me into her world? She was building up all these barriers, and I was defenceless. My bum was getting numb with sitting on this bench. We had been here for nearly two hours, and the last train was due. I couldn't let her go home by herself though. She was in a total state, what kind of boyfriend would I be?

I had band practice in the morning; it was our last practice before heading out on the tour. My mind wasn't on singing; it wasn't even on playing our first show in Brighton anymore. All I cared about was Amy. Every now and again, she would wipe her nose, cause it was bright red. Her face was like a pulp tomato, she had shed more tears than I did at the sight of Dale Winton in Supermarket Sweep.

One of the workers within the station slowly approached us…

"Hey guys, your gonna have to either get on this train or leave the station, because its shut"

"No worries mate. Amy what do you want to do?" I asked

Amy stood up and without saying a word,approached her carriage.

"Ill give you a call tomorrow, text me when you get home? Okay?" I enquired

She never replied; she just kind of nodded her head. I knew her head was somewhere else tonight. I just had to hope she would text me; even if it was through the night. I wouldn't sleep until she did. I had to get some sleep though, tomorrow was the biggest day of my life. Our tour began, and I didn't want my personal life to get in the way of something the band had worked so hard to achieve. I mean most bands find it hard getting one off dates let alone tours, and here we were – chance of a lifetime, and with twenty-fours to go. I didn't want to go anywhere…