Summary: A Parody of Nursery Rhymes. Written by three friends and myself as our practical work for our Drama Exam in High School. Hope you enjoy.

Nursery Rhyme Nightmares.


Little Girl (Stacey)



Little Miss Muffet

Humpty Dumpty

All: The Nursery World you think is kind

But afterward, you'll change your mind.

With Humpty Dumpty, who never broke,

And Little Miss Muffet, who always spoke.

Jack pushed Jill down the Hill,

And now our story begins with a spill.

Scene One: Living room in Mother and Stacey's house

Stacey is watching Nursery Rhyme cartoons. Mother enters the room.

Mother: Stacey! I told you to turn that TV off!

She marches over and turns the TV off, then turns to face Stacey.

Stacey: But Mu-um!

Mother: No buts! I don't want you watching any more of those Nursery Rhyme cartoons! Go to your room!Stacey: That's not fair! I hate you!

Stacey runs into her room, slamming the door. She picks up a book of Nursery Rhymes and begins to read out loud.

Stacey: Hey, diddle, diddle, … the cat … and the fiddle … the cow jumped over the…….

She falls asleep.

Scene Two: At the bottom of a hill.

A bucket is thrown onto the stage, closely followed by Jill. Stacey picks up the bucket.

Jill: Where did that worthless brother of mine go? He's going to regret spilling my pail of water!

Stacey: Who're you? Where am I?Jill: I'm Jill, and we're in Nursery Rhyme Land. How stupid are you?

Stacey: My name's Stacey, and I was reading a book of nursery rhymes when I fell asleep and woke up here.

Jill: Then find a way to get back home. Now give me back my bucket (Jill snatches the bucket off Stacy) and shove off!

Stacey (Walking away) She wasn't very nice.

(Both Exit)

Scene Three: In a clearing.

Stacey walks onto the stage. It is empty except for a footstool. Stacey looks around and spies a bowl of curds and whey. She starts to eat as Miss Muffet enters backstage left.

Miss Muffet: Where is that spider? He's going to pay for what he did to me!

Stacey jumps up.

Stacey: I haven't seen any spiders, but can you tell me how to get out of here?

Miss Muffet is not listening

Miss Muffet: What are you doing with my curds and whey? You know that's all I have for lunch?

Stacey: Okay, you can have them! (muttering) Tasted like old Granny food anyway.

Miss Muffet has overheard Stacey's last comment.

Miss Muffet: 'Granny' food? Do I look like a granny? Do you see any wrinkles? No! I use Nursery Rhyme Anti-Wrinkle Cream. Go annoy someone else, I have to hunt down that spider.

They both turn and exit at opposite ends of the stage.

Stacey:(Exiting) She wasn't very nice either

Scene Four: In a town.Humpty Dumpty is sitting on top of a low wall. Stacey is not looking where she is going and bumps into the wall. Humpty Dumpty overbalances and falls off the wall, breaking into two pieces.

Stacey: (gasps) Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! Are you all right? Can I help?Humpty Dumpty tries to scramble away, but gives up when only his bottom half moves. He lies still and glares at Stacey.

Humpty Dumpty: No! you've done enough damage you little half-wit! Keep away from me!

Stacey: (Backing away) I said I was sorry. Are you sure that I can't do anything to help you?

Humpty Dumpty: (Still glaring) Very sure. Just leave before you do any more damage.

Stacey starts to walk off as Humpty Dumpty tries to pull his two halves back together.

Scene Five: Back near the Hill.

Stacey is walking up the hill and approaches the well. Suddenly, she stumbles and falls in.

Stacey: Help! Glubble Glub.

Scene Six: Laundry room in Mother and Stacey's house.Mother enters, carrying a basket of washing. She hears banging from inside the washing machine. Mother runs over and opens the lid. Stacey pops out.

Mother: (shocked) Stacey! What are you doing in the washing machine?

Stacey: I fell asleep reading and woke up in Nursery Rhyme Land. I met Humpty Dumpty and Miss Muffet and Jill, then I fell down the well and landed in the washing machine.

Mother: (Blinking) Okay.

Stacey: I'm sorry, Mum, for being mad

I know that Nursery Rhymes are bad.

They pushed me 'round and aren't my friends,

I thought the nightmare would never end.

Mother: I'm glad you've learned your lesson then.

Stacey: Yes, Mum, I'll never disobey you again.

They both hug.Jill, Miss Muffet and Humpty Dumpty enter. They form a line with Stacey and Mother.

All:The Moral of this tale is clearly said,

'Don't let Nursery Rhymes go to your head.'

It never gets better and always gets worse,

As lovely daydreams turn into a curse.

Listen to your parents and don't start to whine,

Or you'll end up in a Nursery Rhyme!

They all take their bows and exit.

The End

A/N - This is my first attempt at actually writing a play so any reviews or constructive criticism would be brilliant. A lot of credit goes to three of my friends for helping to think it up four years ago, but this is the first time it has actually been written down."Nursery Rhyme Nightmare"was createda week and a half before our Drama exam when we found out that one of our group was down with the chicken pox and wouldn't be back at school for two weeks