Author: chibidark angel
Warnings: some cursing, some gay insinuations, some sexual themes hinted at, but apart from that, s'all good clean fun!!
A/N: heydee-ho peeps!! this is everlasting, tis a play i wrote and directed for my drama groups P.O.D Festival last october, and it was a pretty big hit, all things considered (was only allowed to be half an hour tops - hence the shortness, and only had 6 weeks to get it down...not fun...�;; ) but yes, i though i'd post it up and see what the masses thought, so sit back, relax, read and enjoy, and above all...REVIEW!!!
Will shuffles onto the stage, smiles and nods to the audience, and sits on an armchair, which is upstage right.
Will: Why hello there everyone, it's a pleasure to see you all here, and what a treat I have for you tonight! Yes, it is a story, the likes of which you have probably never heard before. I haven't told t in a while now, but I want to tell it to you, because you are such a lovely bunch of people. It is the tale of my wife, the tale of how I found her and ended up with her. Oh my wife is lovely, a real beauty, and so spirited and you wouldn't believe that night when-…ah now, I mustn't skip ahead. I shall go back to the beginning where it all began, back in fifth year. I was attending St. Killian's, a mixed school in the back arse of nowhere, and it was all pretty boring with the same old stuff day in and day out. That is, until I met Una…
Will takes off his jacket; he is wearing a shirt underneath, and he is now 16 years old. He jogs to stage left and checks his watch, looking around every now and then. Darren jogs out from stage left and claps Will on the shoulder.
Darren: Morning Will! All set for another slog in the prison?
Will: I suppose so, oh Christ it's so boring there!
Darren: Tell me about it, and god if I have to listen to another teacher go on about the fucking leaving cert…
Will: When we're only in fifth year! And we're being told we're gonna fail already! Makes you wanna throw in the towel altogether.
Darren: Except for the fact that the birds are hot!
Will: yeah, you would say that Cassanova.
Darren: Listen, if you actually put in some effort you'd get some action easy.
Will:…ah I couldn't be bothered.
Darren: Well that's your problem then, not mine.
Will: I don't know what it is… I just haven't found a spark with anyone…it's damn frustrating.
Darren: I'd say so, all those lonely nights with just yourself for company…smirks
Will: oh shut up, it's not like I've never been with anyone…
Darren: Not in a past year you haven't.
Will: I've still kissed…
Darren: but nothing else.
Will: because I don't want to.
Darren: Again, you're problem, not mine…You're too much of a romanticist, you know that?
Will: So I want some sparks and a long lasting relationship…is that too much to ask for?
Darren: at 16, yes. You're worse than some of the girls.
Will: Ah shut up with ye, ye ludramáin.
Darren laughs and Will sighs and checks watch
Will: where do you think Nettie is?
Darren: knowing her, she probably only got up 10 minutes ago and is currently racing up here as we speak…women…
Will: Ah leave her alone, Nettie's grand.
Darren: of course being your best friend automatically makes her one of the lads…murmurs as much as she'd rather not be…
Nettie walks calmly/cheerfully in, Una following
Nettie: Morning guys! What's the craic?
Will: oh nothing much, just some boy talk.
Nettie: you did boytalk without me?
Darren: Sorry honey, but if you want, we'll ring you extra early just so you can get up here for size comparisons…
Nettie: …I'd rather pass. Anyway…oh yeah, this is Una, she just moved here and she's going to Killians. Una, these are my friends, Darren the womaniser…
Darren: taking Una's hand with a smile Hello there darling. I don't know what Nettie's said about me, but it's probably all true.
Una: oh, so you really did sleep with a hermaphradite?
Una: laughs Relax, I'm only joking with you. Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Darren: You're a cute one, and the pleasure's all mine.
Nettie: Right so, and then this is Will.
Will has been ogling Una all this time and quickly shakes his head as she turns to him.
Will: um…hi Una takes hand and slowly shakes it as he stares
Una: hi Will, it's lovely to meet you.
Will: it's great, I mean, lovely, to meet you too. So where did you move here from?
Una: South Dublin. It's a real change, but this place seems nice enough.
Will: Well I can show you around if you want.
Una: that would be great, I'd like that.
Nettie: stepping up behind Will and putting her hand on his shoulder It's nearly time for school, don't you think we should be going on? You could show Una to Killian's if you want Darren.
Darren: nah, I'll let you continue on with your task Nettie, I need to have a few words with William here.
Nettie: oh…okay then…Well come on Una, you don't want to be late on your first day do you?
Una: oh god no…lets go of Will's hand it was nice meeting you both…I'll see you in school, bye.
Darren & Will: bye.
Darren: soooooo…you two seemed to be getting very friendly there.
Will: I don't know what you mean.
Darren: oh come on, you were staring into each others eyes, and you shook hands and didn't let go…
Will: okay, so I was being friendly…
Darren: and very obviously not in the platonic sense…
Will: I'll admit to that.
Darren: you felt a spark didn't you?
Will: more like an explosion.
Darren: Woah…you should definitely ask her out.
Will: I don't know if she's into me.
Darren: believe me, she is.
Will: we barely know each other…
Darren: fine, how about I give you a week and then either you do it…or I will, cause she's pretty hot…
Will: sighs fine, a week…come on Cassanova, we'd better go…
end scene 1
a week later, after school. Una and will walk out first, laughing and leaning close to each other. Nettie and Darren follow, Nettie looking slightly glum, and Darren grinning while he pats her on the arm.
Will: so then, after about three hours of trudging through miles of sludge and mud, we eventually made it to the field where we had to camp, and sure, didn't I trip and fall face first into a lump of cow shite.
Una: oh god, ye fecking mucksavage, that's disgusting!
Will: Ah sure I was only 10, it made me look cool.
Una: you boys have an awfully funny sense of the word cool.
Will: Well it was a great camping trip all the same. You should let me take you up there someday, it'd be great craic.
Una: I might just let ye, after all, you've been a wonderful guide so far, I think I can trust you.
Will: I'm glad you think so. So how do you like it here so far?
Una: it's small and a bit quiet…but it's a lovely town and I'm really happy about all the people I've met and the friends I've made.
Will: …I'm really happy I got to know you Una.
Una: oh I'm really happy I got to know you too Will.
they stop in the corner to converse quietly
Nettie: oh it's not fair! He's only known her a week!
Darren: ah but he sees ye as one of the lads Nettie, and the two of them really li- wait, did you just say a week?
Nettie: yeah, she's been here a week today. Why do you ask?
Darren: because that means our dear Will is going to be asking her out.
Darren: it's a good thing you reminded me Nettie, otherwise he might have gotten out of our deal.
Darren: yeah, I told him he had to ask her out within the first week or I would, so I'd better remind him…nettie is glaring at him … ah now, come on, stop looking at me like that.
Nettie: sighs …why did you have to do that? Couldn't you just not remind him?
Darren: look Nettie, I'm sorry he doesn't like you that way… in fact he probably doesn't even realist you like him, cause let's face it, our Will is a sound guy, but he's pretty oblivious.
Darren: so I am going to go remind our dear boy, and I hope you realise that he wont actually do anything without your blessing.
Nettie: of course not…
Darren: so are you going to do the proper thing?
Nettie: don't I always?
Darren: claps her on shoulder good show.
he walks over to Will and Una who are laughing, her leaning against him.
Darren: hey will?
Darren: eehhh, do you remember what we talked about a week ago?
Will: a week? … oohhhh…. Yeah, and yes, definitely yes…I need to talk to Nettie.
Darren: I thought so. I shall keep dear lady Una company while you do so.
Will: thanks. jogs over to Nettie and taps her on the shoulder hey.
Nettie: hey…so, you and Una seem to be getting along pretty great.
Will: oh yeah, she's wonderful…I'm going to ask her out.
Will: I mean, Darren thinks it's a good idea, and I really like her Nettie, like, a LOT…but I wont do anything if you think it's a bad idea…so?
an internal battle has been taking place over her face, until she bites her lip and sighs
Nettie: …. I think it's a great idea Will, you and Una would make a great couple.
Will: oh you really think so?
nettie gives a quick, short nod, her head bowed
Will: thanks nettie, you're the best! grabs her and hugs he
Nettie: well I do try… hey Cassanova, feel like escorting a lady friend home?
Darren and Una walk over
Darren: it would be an honour my dear.
they laugh as they link and walk off-stage. Will and Una stand slightly awkwardly beside each other.
Will: sorry…Una, I…I like you. And I'd like to know if you'd like to go out with me.
Una:… I'd love to. she takes his hand
Will: really? You're serious?
Una: yes, I am, very.
Will: oh…wow, that's deadly! pulls her into a hug. She pulls back and kisses him. They pull apart.
Will: so…where do you want to go on our first date? they start to walk along
Una: Well I do believe you promised me a camping trip.
Will: hmm…I did…though now that I think of it, I might just save that for our one year anniversary.
Una: laughs Getting a bit cocky there, eh?
Will: smiles and shrugs maybe…
end scene 2
A year later. Una and Will are sprawled on the ground, Will lying with his head in Una's lap, and she's absently playing with his hair.
Will: Can you believe it, a whole year together.
Una: more than a year now babe.
Will: jesus yeah… well personally I haven't regretted a single moment.
Una: neither have I, it's been great fun.
Will: oh and can you believe it – the leaving cert in like three months! As if the mocks were bad enough.
Una: don't worry, with my brilliant study timetable will gives a snort of laughter there will be more proper study put in there eventually…but anyway, with it, we shall get through the last of this hell-hole year grand.
Will: thank god. I'm so glad you've been here with me through this.
Una: me too, I don't know what I'd do without my Will.
Will: I love you, you know that?
Una: I know…and I love you too.
she leans down and they start to kiss, just as Darren and Nettie walk in
Darren: Argh! TMI, TMI!!! covers eyes dramatically as Will and Una pull apart smiling and laughing.
Will: we haven't actually said anything Cassanova. Just because you're not getting any…
Darren: I get plenty, unlike the tomboy here.
Nettie: single in every aspect by choice dearie, all by choice.
Darren: Anyway, like a said, I get plenty, I just choose not to flaunt it around in public places.
Una: …this is my house Darren. And speaking of which, how did you get in?
Nettie: your mam. Apparently you two are up here studying…
Una: yes, you see – in the privacy of my room.
Darren: details, details, it's all irrelevant to me dear. Anyway, leaving cert, can you believe it? So nettie and I decided that we should all study together for it, cause god knows you two will never get anything done if it's just the two of ye on your own.
Will: we're not that bad…
Darren: mmhmm, sure you're not. So what do you two think?
Una: sounds like a good idea, and here, sit yourselves down. So what, we get together two, three times a week?
Nettie sits down beside Will, and Darren sits beside her.
Nettie: yeah, that sounds like a plan, for a couple of hours a day?
Will: Good plan, I'm all in. Well…
Una: don't worry, we'll have a small food break in the middle.
Will: oh good, then I'm definitely all in.
group laughs, till Will frowns and looks curiously at Nettie
Will: so why are you? Single I mean, why do you choose to be?
Nettie: shrugs I dunno, I just couldn't be bothered really with all the looking and the hassle, plus no one really interests me…
Darren: well, no one we know about anyway…
he smirks while Nettie shoots him a glare, unnoticed by Will and Una who are gazing at each other lovingly, their hands intertwining.
Darren: oi, lovebirds, na-ah with the couplyness, you have guests to entertain…so get with it – Una start dancing and Will you sing.
Will: I can't sing.
Darren: which will make it all the more amusing, so hop to it.
Una: why don't you just come up with a way to entertain yourself?
Darren: oh I would if I could, but unless Nettie here wants to throw off the shackles of singledom for a while, it unfortunately wont happen.
Una: is your mind always in the gutter?
Darren: baby, it's building condos there at this stage.
Will: but seriously, why would you choose not to go out with anyone Nettie?
Darren: jeez Will, dwell much?
Will: it's just there's plenty of lads in school that like ye Nettie, I can't see why you don't go for it.
Darren: you know, he does have a point there.
Nettie: like I said, I've not interest in anyone right now, and I really couldn't be bothered with fellas. And why are you all questioning me all of a sudden? He points to Darren doesn't date, he just messes around! Why don't you date Darren?
Darren: because monogamy's for saps – no offence guys – but it just isn't for me. I'm like a predetor, I love the thrill of the chase and the hunt, but after that, I don't like the commitment aspect. If there ever was to be a relationship type thing with me, it would have to be open all the way.
Una: well fair play to the two of ye, at least you know what you want. I however will stick to my loving monogamous relationship thank you very much.
she smiles at Will who smiles back and strokes her cheek.
Darren: right so, it's getting a bit too couply in here, so we'll leave you two. Shall we start the study sessions next week?
Una: sounds like a plan to me.
Will: we can meet in my house on Monday if you guys want?
Nettie: that's grand, and we'll have to buckle down on our oral stuff, they're coming up soon.
Darren: Yup, 25 of our irish and german completed after them… We'd better go, I've got a lady friend to meet up with.
Nettie: Cassanova as usual…anyway, I've got camogie in an hour.
Darren: tomboy as usual. grins
Nettie: swats his arm as they stand Come on loverboy. See you guys tomorrow…and TRY to get some study done, it's time to get serious.
Una: don't worry, we know. Here, I'll walk you to the door. she pushes a worried looking will into a sitting position and walks off-stage with Nettie and Darren: a few moments she walks back on, and Will is still sitting, staring into space.
Will: slightly hollow voice 25??
Una: you really do dwell a lot babe.
Will: it's really only hitting me now…I'm so screwed!
Una: no you're not! Don't worry baby, sits down beside him, hand on his shoulder We are going to study hard and you will be fine, and we will get through this together, alright?
Will: Alright, together.
they smile and share a kiss
end scene 3
another year later. Una is standing upstage right. She checks her watch, sighs and looks around, crossing her arms. Will sneaks up behind her and puts his hands over her eyes
Will: guess who?
Una: emm…Johnny depp come to sweep me off my feet?
Will: you'll have to set your expectations a little lower baby.
Una: alright then, I'll settle for Hugh Grant.
Will: quickly pulling back hugh grant?! You'd put him over me?
una laughs and turns to him
Una: I'm only joking hun, you're too easy to get a rise out of.
Will: ye little divil! he grabs her, tickling her while she squirms and laughs
Una: no!…stop! laughs some more till will eventually stops and is just holding her around the waist.
Will: by the way, happy anniversary babe. kisses her cheek
Una: mmm… pulls away to fix hair
Will: you alright Una?
Una: I'm fine, I just have a lot on my mind, my lab report's due next week.
Will: ah the life of a science student – all work and no play…
Una: better than being a dosser arts student – all playing and messing and no intelligent work…
Will: I resent that!
Una: laughs I'm only messing will, believe me, I know it's not a dosser course.
Will: good. So, you still on for tonight?
Una: couldn't say, seeing as I don't know what's going to happen…
Will: it's a surprise, and believe me, you'll love it.
Una: I hope so. Well, I've got a couple of questions and results to work out so I'll see you later, okay?
Will: okay babe. kisses her I'm going to meet up with Darren and Nettie for a while. Bye.
una exits and Will turns and walks off-stage in the other direction, as Darren and Netttie walk onstage.
Darren: I wonder why will wanted to meet up with us? After all, it is his and Una's two year anniversary today…
Nettie: I know, can you believe it?
Darren: well they are pretty serious about it, and totally mad about each other.
Nettie: mm…but….have you noticed any distance between them lately?
Darren: are you sure that just isn't wishful thinking?
Nettie: listen, I might like Will a lot but I'm not fucking spiteful. I meant distance…and not on his part, more on hers…
Darren: you know, come to think of it, they haven't had sex in a while now…
Nettie: sighs, rolls eyes I don't mean like that, I mean like…affection…like hugging and holding hands…it's like she doesn't wanna do that anymore…
Darren: ….now that you mention it…yeah, I have noticed it…
Will: hey guys, what's the craic?
Nettie: hey will, we're grand, how are you?
Darren: and how's Una?
Will: she's good, stuck on her studies as usual, and I'm great…actually there's something I want to tell you guys…
Darren: what is it?
Will: well…I love Una, I really do, and I'm so serious about our relationship and, well…i…i…eh…
Nettie: spit it out Will, it's not like you're going to ask her to marry you.
Will: well…shrugs, smiles and nods
Darren: oh my god, are you serious?
Will: yes, I'm very serious. I love her. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I want to make her happy – for the rest of our lives.
Nettie: will, this is a really big step.
Darren: yeah, I mean, being tied down to one chick for the rest of your life?
Will: I don't see it that way. I see it as a natural progression in my relationship with Una…and I'd really like your support on this guys.
Darren: of course you have our support…
Will: but do I really?
Nettie: …yes, you do. We are behind you all the way will.
Will: thanks guys…I'd better be off, I've got a proposal to make.
Darren: good luck man.
Nettie: yes, go sweep her off her feet.
Will: you two are they best friends ever! hugs both of them. darren looks at him strangely and then slowly kissed him on the cheek as a goodbye/deathkiss signal, while will looks back in a slightly scared manner...uhhhh...Bye!
he runs off as Darren and Nettie wave
Nettie: do you think we should have mentioned the distance thing?
Darren: do you think he would have listened?
Nettie: walking I suppose not…
will and una enter from the otherside, Will's arm over her shoulder
Will: so, did you enjoy that?
Una: I can't believe you managed to get tickets for cabaret, I love that musical. turns to face him thank you kisses that was the best present ever.
Will: I'm glad you think so, all I want is to make you happy.
they kiss, she pulls away
Una: there's something I want to talk to you about…
Will: there's something I want to talk to you about too, but you go first. What is it?
una turns her back to him and sighs
Una: i….i want to break up.
Will: what? … okay what? … that's not a funny joke Una.
Una: it's not a joke Will, I'm serious – I'm breaking up with you.
Will: what? …but, but…why? I love you!
Una: and I love you too, but only as a friend…a friend that's a really good kisser, but just a friend.
Will: but…but…I don't understand…
Una: I'm really sorry Will…I love spending time with you and being your friend…but I don't want to be with you anymore. I know it's really shitting timing and everything, and I feel like a total bitch for it…
Will: you're not a bitch, you're not! You're wonderful and perfect-
Una: and you have got to stop right there.
Will: there's nothing I can say or do to stop this, is there?
Una: no, I'm afraid not.
Una: so what was it you wanted to talk to me about?
Will: Huh? Oh…it's nothing important…
Una: alright then…well I'd better be going. Goodbye will.
she kisses him on the check and leaves. Will looks in her direction for a few minutes before curling up into a heap on the ground.(A/N: awwww....lol...)
end scene 4
couple of months later. Alice is sitting on a bench stage left and Will walks slowly on from stage right
Will: (to self) seven month…seven bloody months of getting over her, of trying not to think about her…of not even looking at anyone else…and I think I'm finally over it…well, at least most of it, I hope…
he sighs, walks over and sits on the bench away from Alice. They sit in silence, and she glances at him, then he glances at her, and the two continue for a little while just looking at each other, and eventually he smiles and she smiles back.
Alice: hi…waiting for the bus?
Will: yeah, I gotta get to college…you?
Alice: ah, I'm just waiting for a friend, gotta go to work…
Will: oh cool, where do you work?
Alice: just in a local clothes shop, I'm saving up for college next year.
Will: really? What do you want to study?
Alice: fashion and art design, I'd love to get into designing clothes and maybe open my own boutique.
Will: wow, that's really cool, though I would have thought that a beautiful girl like you would be on the modelling end of the catwalk.
Alice: ooo, bringing out the charm eh?
Will: is it working?
Alice: maybe…so what do you study in college? move closer to him
Will: moves closer I'm studying german and English.
Alice: oh, a language man eh? So you'd be good with different tongues, or rather, languages then…
Will: I've been told I've fairly good oral skills…
Alice: sounds interesting…so do you have a girlfriend language man?
Will: no I don't, and it's will. And you are?
Alice: Alice. And I don't have a boyfriend incase you were wondering.
Will: as a matter of fact I was just about to ask.
Alice: so what do you like to do Will? Apart from improving your oral skills of course.
Will: well I would love to say that I enjoy flirting with beautiful girls at the bus stop, but seeing as this is my first time I wouldn't really know about it in general. What about yourself?
Alice: I too enjoy flirting with handsome, though cheeky strangers at the bus stop…and I also enjoy going to watch movies with said strangers…
Will: is that an invitation?
Alice: invitation for what?
Will: to ask you out.
Alice: only if you want it to.
Will: I do believe I would… so, would you like to go watch a movie with me this weekend?
Alice: oh I don't know now, you are a total stranger after all…laughs only kidding, I'd love to. Here pulls out pen and paper and writes number on it here's my mobile number, call me whenever to make arrangements okay?
Will: okay, sounds great.
Maureen: (off-stage voice) Alice! Hey!
Alice looks off-stage, smiles and waves
Alice: hey Maureen, I'll be there in a sec! turns to will I'd better be off…how about a test of those oral skills before I go, language man?
Will: your wish is my command…
they kiss, there's another shout off stage. Alice quickly pulls back smiling.
Alice: impressive…I can't wait to test them out again…bye Will.
Will: bye Alice.
she exits and Will freezes, before slowly standing up and walking slowly back over to the armchair – he is now in the present again. He puts on the jacket and sits, head bowed before he raises it again.
Will: I never did see her again – I left her number in my trouser pocket when I washed them, and that was that, so…no…she's not my wife either…but don't worry! That's the beauty of life, isn't it – that so many twists and turns will in the end lead you to the same ending as so many others – it's not what you do, it's how you do it, and-
Ciara: walking out for heaven's sake Will, what are you doing? Are you holding up these people's time?
Will: ah woman, would ye leave it, I'm only telling them a story.
Ciara: … which story?
Will: why your story of course!
Ciara: ah jaysus, not that flaming wife story – I swear to god ladies and gents, he could go on forever, it's like the yoke never ends!
Will: would you hush it woman and let me tell my story in peace!
Ciara: I have had to listen to this so many bloody times…. Have you gotten to the part about Nettie yet?
Will: hush it, I'm getting there nowd!
Ciara: cracks up laughing (to audience) oh you'ldl love this one, it's fuckin hilarious this one is, oh I dies laughing when id heard about it!
Will: woman! Would ye just go till I've finished my story?
Ciara: very welld then, William Michael Brian O' Doherty, I'll bloody go! sighs I swear, I sold my soul the day I said yes to that question…exits
Will: ah, such a hure…such a spirited and beautiful creature my Ciara is…but anyway, as you all now know, the next one was Nettie, and boy, was that one a disaster…
end scene 5
Next day. Will is sitting on chair, head in hands, Nettie beside him, her arm around his shoulder.
Will: It's just not fair, how could I be so stupid?!
Nettie: you're not stupid.
Will: I left the number of a gorgeous woman in my trouser pocket which I then put in the washing machine – how is that not stupid?!
Nettie: it's not stupid, it's forgetfulness.
Will: same thing…
Nettie: not really…look Will, don't worry. So you've had a bit of bad luck with women – big deal! You are a really cute guy with a great personality, any girl would be lucky to have you. So quit worrying about it and you'll find a decent girl for you.
Will: thanks Nettie, you're a great friend.
Darren walks out and she waves him over.
Nettie: look, here's Darren, you can go moan to him. I've gotta go, basketball practise awaits. I'll talk to you later, kay?
Will: yeah okay, bye.
Nettie smiles and waves at both guys as Darren sits beside Will and she exits
Darren: where's she gone?
Will: Basketball practise.
Darren: ah, sports of course…so, still kicking yourself over the number thing?
Will: naturally…gah, I hate all this confusing and annoying relationship and flirting stuff…I wish I was more like Nettie, just not interested in anyone.
Darren: ah now, that isn't entirely true…
Will: what do you mean?
Darren: well she likes you.
Will: what? She does?
Darren: Oh come on, she has had a very obvious crush on you ever since Killian's, you were just too oblivious or smitten to see it.
Will: … frowns, thinks….so, she really likes me?
Will: and do you think she still does?
Darren: definitely. Why, do you like her too?
Will: I think I might…I mean, she's my best friend, we get along great together, she's smart, cute, funny…you're right, I just never saw it before…I'm going to ask her out.
Darren: well that was fairly fast decision making.
Will: why not?
Darren: good point….you'll have to wait till she's finished practise anyway, so come on over to my house and we can chillax…and I'll kick your ass on the Nintendo again.
Will: bring it on.
they exit…and then Nettie enters from the other side. She has a gym bag, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Her hair is in a really messy ponytail and she looks red-faced and kinda sweaty. She's about half-way across the stage when will runs out, up to her and taps her on the shoulder. When she turns around, he gapes.
Will: wow, you look….wow…
Nettie: …I'm red-faced, sweaty and look like a complete state.
Will: No seriously, I never noticed how, well…wow, you looked before…
Nettie: oh, um…thanks…so how are you feeling now?
Will: oh I'm grand, totally forgotten about that whole thing now…actually I well, I wanted to ask you out.
Nettie: huh? What?
Will: I went to know if you'd like to go out with me, like on a date and stuff.
Nettie: ehh…what? Is thing a joke? Did Darren put you up to this cause I swear I'll ki-
Will: no! I just…I never realised until recently how much I really do like you Nettie….i mean, if you don't want to go out it's cool…
Nettie: wait, no. I mean…I was just surprised is all…I'd love to go out with you Will.
Will: deadly…so, where do you wanna go? starts to walk
Nettie: wherever's good with me as long as you're willing to plan around all my sport practices.
Will: only as long as you're willing to put up with my girly cheering at said practises.
Nettie: smiles Deal.
End scene 6
Two weeks later. Darren and Will are lounging around, playing cards.
Darren: I'll take…two. So, how's things going with Nettie?
Will: Good…really really good…I'll take three.
Darren: I'm glad for you two…so…how far have you gone?
Will: sorry Darren, I never kiss and tell.
Darren: spoilsport…alright, I've got three queens.
Will: Damn, I got two pair.
Darren takes up cards and starts shuffling.
Will: she's incredible Darren…all I ever think about is her…
Darren: who, Nettie?
Will: …I think…no, I know…I love her…
Darren: eh, Will, you've only been together for two weeks now.
Will: I know, and it's incredible! I've never felt this way about anyone, like they complete me…I'm going to ask her to marry me.
Darren: woah, slow down there mate, that's taking things a bit too seriously. You should not do that Will.
Will: why not? I love her, I don't want anyone else! I can't lose her, I wont lose her. I'm going to ask her tonight.
Darren: okay fine… it's a really bad idea in my opinion, but I can't stop you I guess…
Will: right so, then I'm going. Wish me luck! exits
Darren: good luck! You're going to need it…
nettie walks out on stage, looking around, then smiles when she sees Will walking out towards her
Nettie: hey sweetie they kiss how are you?
Will: I'm good, really good. There's something I want to talk to you about actually.
Nettie: okay, what is it?
Will: Nettie, i…I love you.
Nettie: yeah, okay sure…funny Will, very funny.
Will: but I'm serious! I've never felt this way about anyone before. I can't get you out of my head, you're everything I could possibly want…Nettie, kneels, pulls out box and opens it Will you marry me?
Nettie: backin off okay, jokes over! Haha, you got your laugh, now stop it.
Will: shuffling forward on his knees But Nettie, I love you! I don't want anyone else.
Nettie: would you just drop it?!
Will: I don't want to lose you!
Nettie: …well it's a bit late for that Will…I'm sorry but it's over. I have to go. Bye.
she exits. Will falls to the ground
that evening. Will and Darren are sitting on chairs in the middle of stage, sharing a bottle of some spirit
Will: it's not fair…
Darren: dood, I told you not to do it…
Will: but I didn't want to lose her…
Darren: Well you wouldn't have if you'd just left things the way they were…
Will: I'm doomed…I'll be alone for the rest of my life!
Darren: dood, you're only 19.
Will: ...oh god I'm going to be alone forever!
Darren: sighs okay, I have an idea.
Will: to get Nettie back?
Darren: no, to cheer you up.
Will: getting Nettie back would cheer me up…
Darren: would you shut up and listen? I've got a friend, I usually play poker with him Tuesday nights.
Will:…stares at hands as he counts on his fingers in a child-like manner...Today's Tuesday.
Darren: Exactly. So, why don't we go play poker?
Will: that doesn't really sound like it would cheer me up…
Darren: you could win more money, which would buy you more drink…
Will drains the contents of the bottle, and then closely inspects it
Will: Well I do need more drink…Alright, let's go…
the two stumble off stage
A table is put out and three chairs put around it. Mac sits on one chair, and Darren and Will on the other two. Mac starts shuffling the cards and then deals. Will and Darren look at the cards, silently playing poker. Most of Darren's and all of Mac's money is in the pot, while Will has a large pile of money in front of him
Darren: …I got nothing.
Mac: Two pair.
Will: ….three queens, oh yeah! pulls the money in towards him.
Mac: Goddammit! throws down cards
Darren: Easy now Mac.
Mac: he's just won all my money! Goddamn beginners luck!
Will: woohoo, I'm gonna get a lot of drink with this!
Mac: wait wait! I have one more thing I can bet.
Will: looks around you don't have any money…
Mac: it's better than money.
Will: …is it drink?
Mac: …no. it's better than drink.
Will: eagerly is it Nettie?
Mac: …looks at Darren in confusion Nettie?
Darren: don't ask. Will it's not Nettie.
Will: Well then I can't see what could be better than money, drink and Nettie.
Mac: trust me, she is so much better than them.
Mac: yeah, it's this chick, real hot she is, and she said if worst came to worst, I could bet her. So what do you say?
Will: …ah I dunno…
Mac: come on, if you win, you get the money and the girl…
Will: …alright, what the fuck, I'm in. Darren?
Darren? Nah, I think I'll sit this one out, I'm broke as it is.
Mac: right so. shuffles and deals. He and will look at cards
Will: I'll take two.
Mac: …I'll take…one.
Mac deals cards…they look
Will: so…what do you have?
Mac: …a blue…beat that!
Will: …putting cards down smugly I'll leave that to my flush…
Mac stares at cards in disbelief at Wills cards, then throws his down.(
Mac: I don't fuckin believe it, I lost! …oh shit…I lost. Fuck. WOMAN!
Ciara: (off stage) what?!
Mac: get out here, I lost!
Ciara: walking out you gobshite, what do you mean you lost?!
Mac: I mean I fuckin lost the game!
Will: yeah, you are mine!
Ciara: you can fuck off, I'm not going anywhere with you.
Will: listen here, I won you fair and square, so you are mine for tonight.
Ciara: I am no ones for no night!
Will: …but I have all this money…we can go get drink with it…
Ciara: …stares at him critically, and then at the money....okay fine, let's go… (to Mac) you owe me big time…I swear, I sold my soul the day I said yes to that question…
she turns and her and Will walk to the bench in centre stage, spotlight on just them two. The pile of money is put in the middle of the bench, and Will and Ciara sit either side of it.
Ciara: So…what are ye gonna do with this?
Will: I say I buy you something pretty first, and then get us a lot of drink cause I feel like celebrating tonight!
Ciara: …okay, that sounds like a good plan to me. stands, starts walking off stage but try anything funny and I'll cut your nuts off.
she walks off stage, Will smiles, stands and then freezes momentarily before his shoulders sag and he slowly walks back to the armchair and sits, smiling ruefully.
Will: …she didn't actually cut my nuts off that time, or the time afterwards. So we went out for a couple of months, and then broke up…then got back together and were going out for about two years before we fought and broke up again…then we got back together, and were together about four weeks before I proposed…and she said yes…and we were engages for six months before she called it off…then we met up in a bar by chance two years later…and we decided what the hell, we'll give it a shot one more time. So we were together three years…and then she proposed…and I said yes. We were engages about two years, with a couple of shakey months in the middle there…but here we are now, married and happy. I guess we grew and matured together, and ultimately learned to love each other, not the sappyness of puppy love, or the desperateness of a lonely person, but the love and care and romance of real, lasting love. We've had our fights of course, but it's nothing a little TLC can't take care of.
ciara enters, her hands on her hips
Ciara: well jasus, you're still here. Are ye finished yet?
Will: Aye, I'm just done.
Ciara: Thank heavens for that. (to audience) you're lucky; you got the short version. God this man can prattle on to beat the bandwagon.
Will: pulling her onto his lap ah hush it woman and stop being so disrespectful.
Ciara: disrespectful? Ye deserve it, and half the time ye deserve worse. I swear, I sold my soul the day I said yes to that question…
Will: those two questions.
Ciara: Aye, those two questions.
Will: ah, but ye love me really.
Ciara: …ah, I suppose I do…
End Scene 7