BIG IMPORTANT NOTE: Ok, if y'all are gonna go off at me for repeating this in several places, either see my profile's note or read here: it's meant to be repeated. The repeats are for the benefit of people who haven't read either my blog or a particular section of A Horoscope A Week and the rest of it is all new, ok? Any flames will be used to toast marshmallows…mmm…marshmallows.

Surviving The Social Groups

Chapter One: Introduction To DOOM – ahem, high school.

Welcome, mere mortal, to this highly informative guide to everything you don't really need to know about surviving possibly the most terrifying part of your life: high school.

Of course, when I say, 'most terrifying', I am obviously not including the terrors of being chubby, bald and 43 years old. So, in short, the most terrifying part of your life…when you can move all your limbs.


You must've heard about all the terrifyingly terrifying things that occur in high schools: people's heads getting flushed down toilets; the evil, demonic cheerleaders ruling the school; the teachers exhaling on you after eating a garlic and cheese sandwich…

As such, none of those things really happen, most likely because the toilets are so horribly unhygienic that even people who live under rocks run for the hills; cheerleaders are too…squeal-y to be demonic (at least, the ones I've met are) and what with all the new laws 'n' stuff, if a teacher exhales on you, you can just slap them with a sexual assault law suit or something.

However, there is one thing that is both well known to exist and a great peril to all students…

Social groups.

Everyone's heard of 'em and every school's got 'em whether they'll admit it or not. The basics are well known: there are popular, semi-popular, well-liked, disliked and all out detested.

But that's just the thing: inside these groups, there are more groups and one must know everything they can about these groups so as to not be shot by Sk8er Punks after saying that Avril Lavigne rocks or have one's hair pulled out by Teenyboppers after saying that Orlando Bloom is gay or even scowled at for singing too happily in front of some Goths.

Ah...high school is suddenly looking a lot more perilous, isn't it?

But never fear: with this handy guide, you will not only be able to survive high school without losing any limbs but also avoid being labeled yourself!

Stay tuned for next time: How To Recognize A Teenybopper.

A/n: Voila! Le brand new introduction…and I'm sure it sounds crappy so far! But honestly, tell me what you like/don't like about it and I'll try to incorporate it all into the next chapter which yeah, will be similar to the blog version but will also be revised with brand new extra…stuff. Or something.