On chapter 5
Hello once again, dear readers. No, this is not me updating slightly faster than I did last time. This is me stopping Goths from committing a mass suicide after reading the last chapter.
Kinda like lemmings.
Except that I don't think lemmings would care too much if they were made fun of. Particularly so due to the fact that they can't understand English.
What brought this on, you ask (and if you didn't, just pretend that you did). A review from a sad person (or so I guessed after reading their profile, most of which was about being as sad as two very sad things) who goes by the name of Tacomaster.
I know. It doesn't sound like a very sad name, does it?
Anyway, this reader said:
"i'm just gonna point out here that, comedy as this is inteded to be, you seem to
have seriously confused goths with emo kids. you kinda have a good mix of
boths' traits mixed in here. so, i'm gonna try and set you straight, because
that's just the kind of helpful coughintellectuallysuperiorcough person that i
am. goths don't cry. ever. that's emo kids. and the whole whiny, evanescence
music? that's emo kids too. the goths that i know are more into metal of any
variety, that screams about fucking authority, and support anarchy.
as far as 'blending in', well, you need more of a bored-with-life expression;
sad/tortured is for emo kids. random bits of red is for emo kids, who do
travel in packs; goths don't seem to wear much of anything that isn't black,
with the exception of the writing on their sarcastic and/or metal tshirt. the
neckties are an emo thing too. tight fitting and straight legged pants are for
emo kids; goths wear pants that are nearly as baggy as sk8ters and gangstas.
tucking the pants into the shoes is definitely a geek thing more than a goth.
remember, the pants are too baggy for this.
other colours can be added to the hair in streaks, such as green or blue. red
can actually be often avoided, as it tends to fade to pink, which is a decided
NO. and you forgot all about leather and trench coats, which no goth should,
like, EVER be without. (god help us all, i dress goth and am now talking like a
Personally, I didn't care all too much about the lecture on Goth culture, mainly because I am writing this, as the reviewer pointed out, as HUMOUR. It's not MEANT to be the most factual thing on the face of the planet. It's posted on a place called so I figured most people would've, y'know, figured out that the stuff on this site is fictional. It's the same with all the other chapters: not all Teenyboppers have blonde hair, not all Sk8er Punkz detest Avril Lavigne and some Jocks can, in fact, speak comprehensible English (hard to believe, but true).
On the other hand, this person was one of two (the other being jamesbuc) reviewers who noticed that the chapter was not solely on Goths. As Tacomaster said, " you kinda have a good mix of boths' traits mixed in here"
I have one word for you: EXACTLY!
Do you realise how BORING an entire chapter solely on Goths would've been? Sure, the characteristics would've been amusing and stuff but the scenarios, which are crappy enough as it is, would've gone something along the lines of:
Scenario 1: Ok, it's 10 years from now. You've had a mysterious bout of kindness and are now working at the Soup Kitchen for homeless people in your district. You see them come in one night and decide to talk to them. How does the conversation go?
Scenario 2: So we're in the line behind them at the local…er…pizza shop. Let's order something.
Goth: I want that one. buys food and leaves
Scenario 3: Ok, it's Friday 13th October. They're having the worst day in the history of bad days…i.e., got struck by lightning on the way to school, got hit by a car, toaster exploded, showering them in crumbs (don't'cha find that toast crumbs are the worst crumbs?) and….ah…their printer died. In short, they're in a bad mood. So, what are they muttering as they limp their way into class?
See, the thing about Goths is that they don't really seem to care about anything much, aside from being likened to Emos, which they get very, very upset about. Unfortunately, this makes for a very boring chapter (as I learned from what I still personally think of as "the Jock fiasco") and so I decided to blend them with Emo. I might've even called it Gothemo, if that word didn't look totally hideous as well as remind me of Lord of the Rings. And do you honestly think that I, the girl who can't be stuffed updating for about half a year, could be bothered pointing out all the tiny little differences between Goths and Emos.
Ah, that would be no.
Although one difference I think taco guy missed was that Goths don't wear Converse. Because wearing Converse would make them look too Emo, and we all know how much they hate that.
So there you go, my poor Goth-y readers. You can stop slitting your wrists and planning to jump in front of trains now that you have FINALLY been properly represented in a small, insignificant not-story that hardly anyone reads, aside from my lovely reviewers ::hugs reviewers half to death:: and those annoying people who always read your stuff but never review it.
Ooh, and while I'm here, to everyone reading: have a Merry Christmahannukwanzaa-y-holiday-type-thing! And who knows, I might even be pushed to such extraordinarly lengths of boredom during these holidays that I might even ::gasp:: UPDATE! Dun, dun dun!
But probably not.
Sorry for getting your hopes up :D
Shnerpels Inc: Hiya! And thank you for saying that you actually liked the Jocks chapter. I, personally, hated it, but there you go.
Tacomaster: Just read the whole not-a-chapter to see what I wanted to say to you. Please don't jump in front of any trains and I'm sorry: I think I might've accidentally referred to you as 'taco guy up' there somewhere but I can't be stuffed finding it and fixing it so…yes. Sorry.
Arcadia Ryter: I don't know if I've told you this before, but you have the coolest name EVER. And thanks for reviewing…I'll do your social group next.
Angel of Devils: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRYYYYYYYY!
Angel of Devils: See? Now you get TWO response-y things, in a very crappy repaying-type-thing. If it makes you feel better, I nearly went insane after seeing the word 'spam' so many times.
The Ascended Ancient: Thank you! And I'll do ghettos soon ::grins::
Miiake: Wow, only 9 people? That is small…but I'm glad you enjoyed the guide ::smiles::
FLAMINGDORIOTS: Er…hi, Flaming Doritos! Did something happen to your caps lock button or are were you just exceptionally happy when you reviewed? Perhaps you should donate some of your happiness to Tacomaster…anyway, t'was great to hear that you liked this chapter. I'm surprised you haven't ditched this not-story after all the not-updating-ness! Thanks for sticking around!
WyrdWolf: Thanks so much! And see, I'm letting you breathe whilst reading this very not-funny (unfunny? Funnyless? Disfunny?) chapter.
jamesbuc: You were the other perceptive reader! Go you! And I'm glad you found it funny, anyway. And yeah, there are people who seem like these stereotypes but are also very nice people: one of my best friends is a sk8er punk and he's awesome. He even does the whole Avril-protesting thing. But he's still really nice, so yeah….and go you for not being offended! I was sure that once I got into the kinds of social groups that actually read things on I would get a million flames but so far, so good…::touches wood::
Tapioooca: Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad that some people actually like the 'How to Blend in With" section!
Here's Moonstorm101 signing out for God knows how long. See you then::waves::