Part One
Admit it. You like him...really like him. You know who I'm talking about. Don't deny it. If you do, you might as well stop reading right here. Or perhaps, if denial is where you are, you should keep reading. Maybe you'll realize a few things. So go ahead; deny it.
That's okay...for now.
But think about it, why shouldn't you like him that way. I mean, he's no GQ model; though, if he was, then he probably wouldn't be your type, would he? You've never thought much of pretty-boys. Not that he's not good-looking. No, of course he's attractive. Killer smile. Amazing eyes. Nice hair...c'mon, you know you have a thing for people with good hair. It's one of the key things that defines a person. The way it's styled, the color, the cut, the way it frames their face. It all matters.
And don't say that it doesn't.
You'd just be lying to yourself.
However, it's not his appearance that grabbed your attention, was it? It was that natural charm, that finesse that he exudes from every pore. Everything about his demeanor is smooth, confident, like he doesn't care about what anyone else thinks. Any sort of insult or disappointment just rolls right off his shoulders. At least, that's what it was in the beginning.
A little later on down the road, you started to see something else, didn't you? Passion. That raw desire to be at the top of his game. Like how he throws his whole being behind what he believes is right, even if it's completely wrong. You don't find that in guys anymore, huh? They're all too dang lazy; once they get tired of arguing, they give up. He doesn't, and that puts everything into perspective. He never gets tired of it. If he's lagging behind, he just tries a different angle. He's headstrong, determined, and downright stubborn. And that's what really reeled you in, isn't it? He's not like the other guys you've dated. He just got this...spice that the others didn't have, probably will never have. It's exciting, challenging, dangerous, and completely unlike you.
Of course, you two do have some things in common. And when those things come to light, you jump on them. You make all the conversation about it while it lasts, because the newness of these realizations never lasts all that long. Plus, it's not like the conversation flow between the two of you is steady. Most days, you're lucky if you exchange three words. But that's okay, progress can be made, right?
Right. However, achievements can't be reached without at least some minor setbacks. Like the fact that, really, apart from those convo bursts, you really don't know much about each other. You've never been much of a conversation starter in the first place, have you, and that's where we bring in the reinforcements.
Girlfriends. Yours, not his. If he had a girlfriend, not just a friend who was a girl, it would complicate things even more. You don't have many girlfriends. Most of the people you hang out with are guys, and that's alright, but it's good to have fellow females around to back you up. Have you ever wondered about how you and your girls became friends? Because, face it, as you've grown you've realized how different you all are. And if there's one thing you aren't that they are, it's forward. Of course, you say what you mean when the time calls, but you're a people pleaser at heart, and that keeps you from taking control of a situation. So they are your obvious tutor choices.
Now to analyze their personalities. Even though the both of them together are different from you, they are complete opposites. Personality-wise, at least. Yes, they're both forward, but not in the same way. Friend A doesn't want the attention, but gets it. Friend B wants it, but doesn't get it. And though the latter is more in-tuned to your situation, the former does what you two don't. She captures the group, makes them listen to her without really making them. She makes it seem so...easy. Frustrates you, doesn't it? It does the same to your other friend, but she won't own up to it. And if you pointed out this ease of hers to the friend that frustrates you, she'd deny it.
So you make Friend A your guide, so to speak. And while you "observe" her interactions, you notice how much she's like him. She doesn't make conversation that distracts anyone from the main topic. She tries her best to make everything flow without actually trying. There's this relaxed effortlessness about her. She's not uncomfortable with silences, which is another thing that separates the two of you socially. Once you start to pay attention, you realize that she really doesn't talk all that much, yet when she does, they all listen.
So you try to play it like she does. Try to put out some confident easiness, but it's just not...you. Being in her zone means you're not in yours and the whole balance of your day is thrown off. It's weird, isn't it? How she can handle all the stress that her position in your "posse" merits. Of course, she probably thinks the same about you, you just haven't looked at things in that light before. You never really give yourself enough credit, do you? Maybe you should start.
Okay, so your talking-mentor idea didn't really work out.
Since that whole scenario crashed and burned, maybe you should try something else.
Betcha that you're a bit short on brilliant ideas at the moment. So you recluse, close off into your own sort of corner until another solution comes to mind. And you know what, when you sit and take the time, you'll realize that he's everything you want embodied in a completely eligible male, and you'll do anything to get a shot at a relationship with him. Because you deserve to have a happy ending...or a happy beginning, right? And all of a sudden, there's this explosion of determination somewhere inside of you; not to show him who you can make yourself into, but to show him who you are, the someone that only the person in the mirror sees. Because, even if most days, you're a total feminist, you still believe in the fairy tale, and all you really want is to get swept off your feet by some prince, to get caught in the riptide of emotions that comes with riding off into the sunset.
Not that I want to rain on your joyous parade, but perhaps I should give you fair warning.
This guy.
This feeling.
This fairy tale...
You're not the only one with their eyes on the prize.
So watch out.
Let the games begin.
A/N::: Reviewing is good for the soul...