laced with nitroglycerin

with a smile draped on my face (covering
my pain and the shame of the scars across
my body), your name dripped from my lips.
each letter was laced with nitroglycerin as i
admitted who caused this all (and she stared
at me, hiding shock obvious in her eyes).

and maybe after admitting this enough,
i'll find myself truly happy once again.


author's note: the 'she' mentioned is my step-mom. i told her because she asked why i was still doing it to myself.